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Legal matters

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DC 16 left home .

9 replies

Shesmybabay · 05/10/2023 14:58

DC 16 left home a few weeks before their 17th birthday. It goes without saying that I'm utterly heartbroken.

I contacted their college as DC had told me she had quit. I was told she was free to do so without my consent. .

DC moved in with relatives, found a job and has sent only a handful of messages ( asking for money etc) since they left home.
I was told they were going back to college in September 23, but in relatives home town
.
Fast forward I'm informed that they are no longer with relatives and attending college in another town. They refuse to tell me where they are living or which college they're at .
I've asked DC to tell me where they are registered as living as I've had to take them off electoral register, cancel subscriptions they've set up( paid for by debit card, so no passwords or access to their email address etc.

Non of my family will speak to me, a horrible fall out following a bereavement, so I simply have no idea where DC is.

What I need to know is am I still DCs legal guardian and what are my responsibilities regarding their wellbeing ?
What happens if either of us becomes seriously ill or are involved in an accident,a victim of a crime oreven missing.?.

.Any advice would be greatly appreciated

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 05/10/2023 15:05

They are 16 and free to be free...
Apparently

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 15:07

“I've asked DC to tell me where they are registered as living as I've had to take them off electoral register, cancel subscriptions they've set up( paid for by debit card, so no passwords or access to their email address etc.”

You don’t need their address to take them off your household occupants for the electoral register. Nor should you to cancel any subscriptions for them-if they pay for them that is theirs to deal with now, and if you pay for them you just cancel the direct debits from your account.

They don’t want you to know their address so you have to respect that. Try and open a line of a communication with whatever relatives they are in touch with so you can hear if they are ok.

I left home at the same age but with no relatives to support, so I’m sure they will be fine. You have to let them go and let them come back to you when they are ready. I don’t know legal status insofar as parental responsibility no one really cared and I was 18 soon enough.

Shesmybabay · 05/10/2023 16:35

I've taken them off the electoral register, the subscriptions were for TV package and membership fees that I paid for but were set up by DC using their email account.

These services are no longer of use to them.

OP posts:
madamreign · 05/10/2023 16:37

Why did she leave?

Shesmybabay · 05/10/2023 16:54

I'm posting here for legal advice. I'm not going to go into the reasons DC chose to leave. Teenagers do rash things sometimes.
I need advice about the practical side of this situation such as what happens about the Trust Fund of which I'm the executor. If I don't know where they live how will I be able to see they get this if they won't tell me where they live .

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGivenToday · 05/10/2023 16:57

Agree with the other poster. You need to respect that they don't want you to know their address currently.

RowenaEllis · 05/10/2023 16:59

She's still a child until 18 and you still have PR. However she's old enough to make her own decisions and you can't make her do anything she doesn't want to in reality. If you have her trust fund I'd expect her to be in touch with you when she wants money!!

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 17:00

Shesmybabay · 05/10/2023 16:54

I'm posting here for legal advice. I'm not going to go into the reasons DC chose to leave. Teenagers do rash things sometimes.
I need advice about the practical side of this situation such as what happens about the Trust Fund of which I'm the executor. If I don't know where they live how will I be able to see they get this if they won't tell me where they live .

You hold it in trust until they reach the age to take it over. Then you contact the relatives they are in contact with and give them the name and number of a solicitor you have engaged who can transfer the trust to them from you while keeping their address confidential if that is what they still wish.

Shesmybabay · 06/10/2023 11:56

Thank you all for your advice. I'm trying to build bridges with DC but their anger towards me makes it nigh on impossible.
I didn't want to give the background behind DCs leaving but it was a change of heart about their career ambitions.
Was doing amazingly well at college, I asked them to choose their own A level subjects that they enjoyed, so no pressure from me. Explained that it was fine to pursue another career path after their education and not to feel pressured into going to Uni straight after etc.
A relative organised a weeks work experience in a completely different field to the one DC was hoping to work in and they excelled, felt validated and decided they were studying the wrong subjects.
My DC has been coerced by my very toxic family. Its sad but I always knew that something like this would happen. My narc DM habitually prunes out anyone who doesn't fit her type including her DH children, old friends, plus myself .
I tried to shield my DC from this but unfortunately I can see now I should have limited the time they spent with DGM.

OP posts:
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