Child Arrangements that work?

[snakesinthegrassgoabsolutelyfree]

Hi, can anyone share child arrangements that work for their children. Added complication in my child's case is he has ADHD & Autism so daily routine is really important. I am RP and the current arrangement as set up 3 years ago during Covid just doesn't seem to be working anymore now children are older. Mostly its the lack of routine over the weekend which then throws my child out when he comes back home, and takes a long while to regulate, its affecting school and learning, and his health, constantly ill, lack of sleep, up all night gaming. Then the week contact during school doesn't seem to have much point or substance to it. Stopping contact is not an option. So I'm looking into what might work better for the children. It is a CAO and NRP is not willing to discuss, I have tried, it was also DV.

CAO on a strange schedule that was based around the NRPs work and what he said he wanted to do, so he said no school morning drop offs, so it really curtailed options. Schedule is every other weekend, pick up after school Friday and Saturday night drop home 4.30pm Sunday. Then every Wednesday after school into 6.30pm. Then after the weekend at home he picks them up on that Monday until 6.30pm, so every other Monday.

Can anyone share a schedule that works better than the above for the children? The weekday contact doesn't give enough time to go back to his 40 minutes away both ways, so they go to cafes and restaurants, he works and they have ipads. It also doesn't seem to be quality contact for children or the NRP.

Anything that works better for kids, they are 5 and 10 (older has ADHD & Autism). Does anyone have a Thursday-Sunday that works well, with no school weekday contact, or maybe every other Wednesday on the week when its not his weekend?

Not too sure this will help as my DSD is quite a bit older, but does also have ADHD and autism.

My partner has a CAO which says DSD spends Mon-Fri with us and then three out of four weekends (Fri and Sat nights) at mums. It was made for different reasons as she moved away and wasn't able to take DSD to school, but has since moved back and we've kept it up.

It seems to work as we can offer a pretty regular schedule on weekdays. It can be hard getting back to that after a weekend of late nights, but it means she gets to spend time with both parents and plays to everyone's strengths - we have regular working hours and are better positioned to manage a daily routine; mum can do fun, spur of the moment activities at the weekend and doesn't have to manage the school run.

I am sad we don't get to have as much fun time with DSD, but we try extra hard to make the most of it when she's here. In fact, originally it was EOW but we suggested 3/4 weekends with mum as I just don't think DSD got to see her as much as she should.

Weekday handovers when DSD was in primary school sort of worked but the weekday/weekend split seems to make much more sense, especially now she's older.

Monday - Wednesday (drop at school) with Dad
Wednesday (collect from school) - Friday with Mum
Alternate the weekends.

Means they do 5 days in a row with one parent and then swap.

@snakesinthegrassgoabsolutelyfree DC is a family barrister and I gather the arrangements frequently favoured are 5 nights out of 14 with the non registered parent. So any 5 nights that make sense in a 2 week period.

But the child’s needs must come first. Their welfare must be prioritised. So think about school and preparing for school. Stability during the week and clear arrangements so Dc knows where they are and what they will be doing. Maybe agree to less gaming time or agree weekends only with NRC. Not weekdays. Write down what is most important for Dc’s needs and welfare and see what that looks like in terms of a schedule.