Arbitration rather than court to resolve schooling decision

[Rosiekate1]

Has anyone used Arbitration rather than court to resolve child care decisions with their Ex?

ExH not in agreement with the school I wish to send our DS too (local state school to us, very good school but an hour away from ExH).

I have heard court costs £25-30k. Is Arbitration much less?

Court can cost that much but it doesn't have to. If you represent yourself, it costs £232 to apply for a specific issue order (which is what would be needed here).

Where does your ex want your son to go? If it is a school where your son has no realistic chance of getting a place, you may not need to bother with arbitration or court.

If you are the responsible parent, the school should be near you and he might not get into a school further away, probably. If you are 50/50 I can see the issue and this split needs to be resolved because it’s not sustainable when dc are at school with those distances involved.

The court cost figure is way too high. DD is a family barrister and complex cases cost less than this. As Dc get older, they need to be settled as much as possible in the school week and that means the school they can get into close to home. 5/14 nights is a more normal split for Dc which means less travel for the non resident parent if the nights are weekends plus one weeknight.

What does DS want? How old is DS? What about friendships? Local school is always best for DC. It’s not about dads travel issues. Not sure if mediation would be available but ask a solicitor. Mostly courts would favour local school nearish to resident parent, short distance to school minimizing Dc travel, allowing Dc to do clubs after school and keeping friends. These are your strong arguments.

How about mediation? Some areas offer free mediation. Worth looking into.

Thank you. DS is only 2 and a half so can't express what he wants. ExH wants to send him to a private school 10 mins drive from his house. I have a school across the road, and another (slightly better) one 2 miles down the road. Living with parents at the moment so I feel this could disadvantage me as when (and if) I find a house, it may be further away from these current schools. So this is my main sticking point. Current area quite pricey and so may struggle to buy.

As he wants a private school you can't rely on the admissions system to come to your rescue, so you will have to either come to an agreement or go to court for a Specific Issue Order.

Even with representation, court is unlikely to cost anything like as much as you say in your first post. If you want to find out the likely costs, talk to a solicitor.

@Rosiekate1 I would be very wary of ex wanting private. Will he always pay or use it to coerce you? Eg threaten to take DS out of school and stop paying. Take advice but be careful. I get DS is young but then surely being near you is paramount? Maybe offer up a discussion about when DS is looking at secondary? See if ex has the money then.