What are my rights?

[VictoriaBri]

I guess this might sound petty. I dont know, but I just feel so disappointed and sad for my children.

I have been taking my children to swimming classes for 8 years. They are age 11 and 10
My daughter wants to complete all the levels and go on to do a Lifeguard Course. She wants to try and get a job as a lifeguard when shes a teenager.

I separated with their Dad approx 6 years ago. He is controlling and manipulative. It actually took me 3 or 4 years to pluck up the courage to leave.

He does not contribute to them financially at all.
He has them Friday nights, all day Saturday and every other Sunday day time

I can only get my kids into swimming classes on a Sunday. Every other Sunday they are with him.

He is refusing to take them as "they are not spending time with with while they are in the pool" But he will let them go to their friends houses to play, without him.

They are in the same swimming class, I pay for the classes, iI provides swimming kits, its for 30 mins at 10am he doesn't have to go into the changing rooms or anything like that. They are old enough to sort themselves out and get a locker. It is 5 mins from or less travel time from his house.

How do I make this right for my kids?

Unfortunately he can do what he wants with them during his contact time.

I would look for after school lessons elsewhere if the place you currently go does not offer them. If they already swim then there is nothing preventing your child doing the lifeguard course at age 16.

Why are you not pursuing a CMS claim if he isn't paying towards them?

That’s what I thought, thank you.

as for claiming. He works self employed and doesn’t claim that he earns anything. I’m scared that if I make a claim he will get mad and make my life harder and I won’t receive anything anyway.

Unfortunately I saw him do it to his older child he has with someone else

Once your dd is 12ish, a court would let her decide on how much contact she had with each parent so she could insist that contact was just Friday and Saturday night and going home first thing Sunday. I suspect that going against a man like your ex won't be to her liking even though you've tried the reasonable approach of asking him to take her to a lesson that you've paid for.

Ok, so she doesn’t have long until she can decide.
Thank you for replying. I guess we will just ride it through 😤
I’m sure it’s all just his way of having control. The kids aren’t benefiting from it at all.
He even said no to them seeing my parents. They live abroad and the only weekend they could see the kids, he had them.
I’m always respectful and polite when communicating with him.
He loves conflict where as it gives me anxiety.

@VictoriaBri Not exactly. A court doesn’t just do what a 12 year old wants. However they take their views into account more then they would a 5 year old. I would consider going to court because DCs needs change but as this lesson is on a Sunday, it’s unusual.

i think your DC probably needs to negotiate with him. I do know certain lessons are only on one day a week and no choice but he’s obviously a lazy dad and doesn’t have their interests at heart. He wants a lie in, doesn’t he? Go for the money!!