Oh fuck what is going to happen?

[notahappybunny7]

My mum has passed away. She has left everything in her will to me(house paid(220k and about 50k in savings)
no other siblings off my mother but my dad has 4 more(no relationship with them)
they're married have been for 40+ years but he’s a twat who’s never worked properly, my mum has grafted her arse off to pay mortgage and ct, he has paid utilities and food, well the basics my mum alway bought her lunches and any luxuries. No joint accounts ever.
I’m not money grabbing it my mum wanted this for me and my daughter, to better our lives, he is saying he’s not moving and will contest the will. What will happen?

You definitely need to get legal advice.

But from what I’ve heard, as they’re married he would automatically get half (there are loads of women on here who work/earn/contribute less financially to the house but they’d still get half in the event of divorce/marriage).

I believe if his name is on the mortgage/deeds then he definitely can’t get kicked out by you.

Unfortunately, the fact that your mum was in an abusive relationship is irrelevant, especially if they were still married and still living together at the time of her death.

So he can contest the will and as a married couple he will most likely be entitled to half, especially of the house.

My dad did get the whole house when my grandma died even though she had another child, because she changed the will for it to go to just him (she was coerced into doing it) and so the will does count for something but as she was married and still living with her husband who contributed to the home, it makes things a lot more complicated.

Definitely get legal advice though

This is what I think. Mediate. Do not start fighting though the courts. It’s not a massive estate and it will be eaten up in fees. Set him up in a flat that’s more suited to his needs. What a mess your mum has left you.

This is an unwelcome but sensible evaluation of the situation.

The solicitor should have done better. Quite surprising that they didn't make provision for such obvious issues that were sure to occur. I can't believe a solicitor wouldn't have discussed it properly.

Thank you for all you responses. I’m not getting angry at people trying to give advice, more those who are painting him as some kind of wronged, vulnerable poor elderly soul. He’s been utterly vile and it’s so upsetting that yes, he can still fuck my mother over in death

The solicitor is paid to advise. We have no idea what they advised but the will is the last wishes of the deceased. Their will is their wish.

A decent solicitor may well have advised her but it all depends on what she told them. And even if the whole story came out and she was advised not to act in that way,she’s not obliged to listen.

I know someone who died recently and wanted to disinherit one of his sons. The man was a total waster, abusive, compulsive liar who had done time for various reasons - you get the picture. Anyway he went to a solicitor to draw up the will and had very sound financial advice re how to ensure his partner could stay in the house etc until she either moved or died at which point half the house would be split between the two children. In terms of assets though, all his financial assets were given to one f his sons, but the other one was only given £5000,and it turns out that it was because he was advised that if he left him a token amount, he would have less of a case for contesting the will.

Do you think he has the wherewithal to actually challenge the will though? I think in your shoes I would get going on administering the estate and see what happens.

Like it or not, the law doesn't care that your father is a twat.

You may not like it but he very probably has grounds to contest. You can get as angry as you like about that but since it's a fact what you need is proper legal advice and help.

OP, I'm sorry for your loss.

You need two different people to support you.

You need a lawyer, to guide through the legal process of settling your mother's estate, in accordance with the laws of the country you are in.

And you need a therapist, to help you work through your trauma and rage about your father being an abusive man, your mother staying in a lifelong relationship with him, and about the effects on you as their child.

Bluntly, your feelings and the law are two entirely different things, and one has nothing to do with the other. Understanding that right now will help the legal parts move more smoothly. Even if all you can manage amidst grief and busyness is to categorise each thing that comes up as 'feeling' or 'law', it will help.

I agree with others. I can completely understand your anger and heartbreak for you mother, but an elderly, blind man, who can probably argue he was financially dependent, left with nothing after a 40 year marriage....?

I thought OP had gone to that appointment with her mother, but maybe I remembered that wrong.

I went to a 'will workshop' once and we were told that a will is an expression of what the person making it wants to happen, but it doesn't mean it is what will happen. If someone who should have been made provision for hasn't been, then a court can change it.

I think the mother should be been advised the father would potentially have had a claim on the estate and how she could manage that. If she was advised this, she chose not to do anything about it at the time.

The thing is op.. he has contributed to the payment of the property whether you like it or not. As difficult as it is to accept try and look at things in black and white.

Also when was the will made?

I think he would be entitled to at least what he would have got had they divorced, which in a longstanding marriage would be half. You need to protect yourself on costs, so probably best to see a solicitor for advice and then make him an offer of what the solicitor thinks the court would award him.

If they’re married then the £50k is definitely a matrimonial asset unless it was left in some kind of trust in her name, I believe.

Regardless of what kind of person he is he hasn’t fucked your mother over though OP. It’s not wrong at 78 to not want to be thrown out of your house with nothing. It isn’t.

if anyone has fucked over anyone then I’m sorry to say that that’s what your mum has done to you.

Even if she hadn’t realised that he could successfully contest the will, she’s still left you with the task of throwing your father out of his home. You just can’t ignore that fact.

Yes, this. Don't let it become a long battle where everything goes in fees, just out of anger/principle.

Sorry for your loss @notahappybunny7

The executors of the will must follow the instructions in the will. If the house is solely your mum's name then it is her asset to leave to whoever she chooses.

The AgeUK information for executors is quite useful listing that things that need to be done by the executor in case that's you, OP.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukil8howwtobeeanexecutorr_inf.pdf

Whether your dad can successfully contest the will is a separate matter that must be instigated and paid for by him.

Do seek proper legal advice so that you're totally confident you're doing the right thing but don't be distracted by replies on this thread talking about fairness and matrimonial assets. That might be a decision for a judge if it gets that far but seemingly the lawyer who drafted the will after your parents were married did not think it a problem so it probably isn't.

Please get legal advice

My OH Nan was written out of her husbands will out of spite and she managed to contest it successfully

Interesting that you think you’ve got more claim on the money than him, he paid £200 a month into the household, what did you pay?
Sounds to me like you’re realising if your dad had died first then the money would have gone straight to you after your mothers death, but since he has other children, once he’s gone you’ll get a much smaller share potentially?
It’s unfortunate, but this is why you get comprehensive legal advice in life, not after death. I think you should prepare yourself for the fact that he will have a claim.

He doesn’t need to contest the will. His claim will be for inadequate financial provision. Nothing to do with whether the will was valid or who drafted it.

I'm afraid I agree with @BeenThereDoneThat101. Your mum has sadly left you in awful position,

Is there anyone who is supporting you at the moment OP? A spouse, friend, family member? I'd ask someone to be with you when you speak with a family law solicitor about this. While your father sounds awful and I can understand how you want your beloved mums wishes adhered to, you'll need to be able to listen to advice objectively and without emotion.

I hope you are able to reach a fair and satisfactory compromise.

I think people are missing that it's her stepdad, not her actual dad.

Although this isnt death related, about 16 years ago an x partner of mine who Id lived with officially (as opposed to him having his own place and staying over prior) for 8 months, took me to court for a share of my house. His name was not on any bills or mortgage, he had only contributed to the house, which Id bought, for those 8 months but he got his brother and bf to say he had been with me longer (despite council tax putting him elsewhere). He is a freemason so I know the judiciary is riddled with them and this may be relative but he got 25k off me which was 25% of the equity in the house when he left. It was agreed just before we went in to court as my barrister said he would get 20 to 30k but if we went in id also prob pay his costs. Its always seemed outrageous to me that he could lie and get that money but the reason given was I bought the house for us (and my 4 kids) to live in as a family. So based on this Im guessing due to length of your mams relationship, he has a case to get something from the house.

Obviously it males no difference legally but...

When you've been married over 40 years, I don't think that is very relevant.