Hi, this is an awkward and messy one so I’ll outline the situation as I don’t know what I can and cannot do and so any advice would be most welcome.
I’ve had a strained relationship with my mum who had me when very young and then my sister 8 years later. I moved away from the area around 20 years ago so would only go back 2-3 times a year and see my mum for an hour or so, occasional call and message but not much as she was very self centred and would put her new husband before the whole family - she alienated my sister and those two haven’t spoke for 10+ years. Very limited interest in grandchildren but I kept in contact as the eldest sister just as a matter of duty I guess. I’m close to my sister and we message daily.
anyway, mums health has been bad for years as is her husbands and both ended up in a nursing home earlier this year with dementia and other issues. They had a council bungalow so I went down between breast cancer surgeries to sort it out and take stuff to the home. The plan was for me to get a guardianship for my mums affairs and the council would do a court of protection on her husband so they could manage his. That application is pending. My mums wasn’t lodged yet.
this morning sadly my mum died at the nursing home.
they’ve asked me about funeral etc but I don’t know what to do. She didn’t have many friends and always said she didn’t want a fuss so a direct cremation would be fine but technically her husband is her next of kin to agree/sort this and also I cannot afford it so it would need to come from their monies - mum has accounts with over £20k in and life insurance policies which would cover it and without a will the rest will go to her husband which will then be used as nursing home fees.
what can I do? How can I help/arrange things?
any advice is much appreciated