Malicious letter from ex's new girlfriend

[TitaniumTess]

Just before a final family court hearing, my ex sent me a horrible email containing a signed statement from his current girlfriend. It was several pages of her making false allegations about my parenting and my character. It was never asked for by court and has been retracted so it isn't a court document.

I logged it with the police as Malicious Communications and harrassment but they've not done anything.

It caused me lots of distress and I ended up having a panic attack on the street on the neighbours.

What are my options? A civil case for slander? Etc. Any advice welcomed. Thanks

You will struggle with a case for slander. Things said to you don't count as slander. And, if this was a signed statement for the court, it is protected regardless of the fact it wasn't asked for by the court and has now been retracted. Similarly, if it was originally intended for court, he was required to disclose it to you, so it is not harassment nor is it malicious communications.

I understand that it has caused you distress but, from a legal perspective, I can't immediately see anything you can do about it.

That sounds really shit. I have no idea about the legal side but wanted to give you a big hug and send solidarity. What a shitty thing to do!

Ignore it. Don't take the bait.

Thank you! Sounds like I just need to rise above it!

I did draft a reply but more for my mental sanity. Some of it is just ridiculous and unfounded. Some of it contradicts itself.

Ignore her and hopefully she'll go away. She's baiting you. Rise above it indeed.

OP I was baited and reacted. It cost a fortune on both sides and looking back I wish I'd risen above it. Be better than that and good luck.

If it was not requested by the court it may not be privileged. Is there anyone who can give you legal advice on this?

Keep a full paper trail in case this is repeated in any form later.

Privilege extends to any statement made in the stages before a hearing regardless of whether it has been requested by the court. It may lose privilege if it is not actually used in those proceedings. However, there is also the problem that it seems from the OP that the only people to whom this statement was disclosed were herself and her ex. Disclosure to her is not relevant for defamation proceedings, so the only person to whom the current girlfriend could have defamed her is her ex. As he is likely to have a pretty low opinion of her anyway, a defamation case is unlikely to succeed.

Take comfort from the fact that they seem to be well matched... both toxic.
Forget these sad people, live your best life.

I wouldn't enter into a legal battle with her/them. They sound dreadful and bitter.

I would however probably sign them up for every junk mail, special offer and email newsletter possible- but I can be extremely Petty.

@Pottyberry funny! Thanks :)

I do try to minimise their impact on my life but they're pretty relentless.

If they/she is perusing a course of conduct against you, then its harassment.
Its DV related, so the police should pursue it if you want them to.

What did the police say when you spoke with them?

Also, what was in the letter which forms the malicious communication part, as this is a separate offence in its own right.

Log everything she does with the police for future reference should you need it.

I'm not sure if this is correct so take some legal advice but it can be classed as abuse ie domestic abuse and you can ask a solicitor to send a cease and desist letter to the new GF. I know when I am in court (for work 🤣), the judge is very specific in what they will allow into evidence so it may not be used anyway. Take comfort in that she has completely wasted her time and energy on something that may not even make it into proceedings 😊

Just ignore it. It's not going to be taken into account in your court case, so it only impacts you if you choose to let it.

@Felix125
@catrescuelady
@ZiggZagg

Thank you - ref the domestic abuse, I've been logging 101s ref my ex for years. The police response varies between 'you're going through a change curve,' and 'he sounds not right, keep logging it.' Despite me pointing out the pattern, they seem to treat each 101 separately. I did log a police complaint but that was quickly brushed under the carpet.

I will go back around the Malicious Communications legislation and see which specifics it hits.

The police seem to say 'court will sort it all out....' but every part of the system points at the next part. It's not joined up.

@TitaniumTess I was reading about incidents of harassment being treated as separate, minor incidents rather than a pattern of harassment (might even have been on here - menopause brain!).

Could you emphasise to the police that this is an ongoing campaign against you by those two?

Sorry if you have already tried this. Sounds really tough and they sound like twats.

Long story short, I was harassed almost daily for over 2 years, I never ever relied, that was my power, the police spoke to her, I had to make a diary listing events. Agree to give the police my phone if they requested it. Very very difficult to prove. BUT this person send two emails to my company about me and malicious communication was kicked in and they were taken to task. If this is a one off I would sit very tight and say nothing do nothing. That's your power. If it continues that's different.

Sometimes - 'words of advice' to the other party from a cop is enough to get it to stop - sometimes not and sometimes it escalates further.

You might be in a better position to know how they other party is likely to react and adjust your response accordingly.

Probably why it wasn't admitted to court.

If you're lucky, she'll have acquired a taste for written abuse and you will be able to see some police action. Sweet revenge!

Otherwise, occupy the higher moral ground and keep a diary.

DO NOT SEND YOUR WRITTEN REPLY!!

@Medlady thanks! I never did ;)

Good call