I need help fast! I have applied for an emergency c100 without notice on my ex partner. We shared 3 children, 6, 5 and 1. My ex has been abusive throughout the relationship of 11 years. During this time he has been arrested for domestic abusive and was cautioned.
The recent incident which led to me being here, we got into an argument and he got physically abusive, hit me, took the house keys, car keys disconnected the Internet and basically me and my children could not leave the house. This is just one of these occasions but we have had these incidents happen more than I care to admit. On top of that he is a chronic cheater. I called police again for the second time and this time I ended up being taken because he lied and said I didn't leave there (it's his name in the tenant agreement) also he told them I stole from him. I was taken on those basis but once I got interviewed the case was dismissed but I had an opportunity to give my own statement.
So now he refused me to return to our house and he has remained with the 3 children since then. My concern now is he has refused any communication eith regards to the children. My eldest is autistic. I am his main carer. I am literally the main carer for all the children. He is never there am the one that feed. Bath and feed them. Take them to school. Play centres, GPS appointments, basically everything. I have been staying with my sister for the last week and I have applied for emergency housing accommodation with the local council which has been granted on the basis of domestic violence.
I am worried for my children's wellbeing and we'll fair. He works full-time and I know he has gone and taken them to him mothers house who is 80 years old and can't physically look after 3 children. My eldest has a lot of special needs. He is very hyperactive and requires a lot of engagement and during the summer I have been taking the children out daily to all sorts of activities. I work part time from home so my job is very flexible and I have always managed to balance and work around the kids. I know the children are stuck in the house with their grandma and my son knowing him when he's not getting any outside play he becomes very distressed and this causes his symptoms to increase. My heart is breaking because I don't know how the children are. My 1 year old rely on me for everything. The dad is barely there and doesn't even know what they love to eat..what I cook for them on a daily basis. Its so unfair that he is doing this.
On the other hand my other concern is that.. when I had my 3rd child in march 2022 just after, I was diagnosed with postnatal. I went through a challenging couple of months. My mental health was not great. Having to look after 3 kids alone because again he has never been emotionally supportive. He was always out never home and I had to deal eith it alone. I began drinking quite a lot and I wan under perinatal who then got social services involved due to the fact that I was not coping and the warfare of the children was questioned.. and an alcohol service got involved who supported me. Social services was very nice and I worked with them all the services involved. After about 4 months the case with social services was closed because there where satisfied that the children where safe in my care. All during that period my family where very supportive. My mum came to live with me for a couple of months. And not long after perinatal and the alcohol service closed my case because I was no longer in that space of my life. It was something that was triggered just after I had my daughter. I am a brilliant mum and I love my children to bits. Now since I have left I have tried to contact Mt ex to arrange children custody but he's refused at all cost basically saying am unfit to look after them. I have mental health issues and am an alcoholic. All of this is not true. He basically is using that period of time againt me. He has also been banned from drivng because of drink driivng so the irony. And i known he is still driving with the children in the car. The children return to school in two weeks. My son had some summer vouchers given to him for summer activities. I have missed out on 2 weeks of them now because he has kept them away from me. My youngest daughter has missed her gp checked up. My ex is never involved in any of this and doesn't even know the children's gp because he couldn't care about any of this as when am at home looking afre the kids, he has always just left me to deal eith it alone. So I don't understand why all of the sudden he is using my past against me. While together he has never worried about there warfare because am the one that's left with them 24/7. He works full-time and I know there is no way at all he will be quiting his job to become a full-time parent and there is no way his mither will be doing the school runs.
I have applied for an emergency c100 without notice but am not sure if its the best move because in the same breath...I am hoping he will come around but he is very unpredictable and I am not going to seat around to wait when he now wants to to me...in the meantime...I need to get the children's uniform ready for their school return. He has also taken my passport and their birth certificates.. all which he is denying. I know it is him because he does this all the time when we get into a fight. I also know that giving him notice about the hearing will just cause more stress. I wouldn't do it in person because I don't feel safe to do so. Also I am not sure what his motive is with the certificates. At this point am not putting anything past him because he is a narcissist and I know he will go extra mile to cause more drama.
My question is in thr Court how likely am I able to be given custody...bare in mind..I don't even want full custody in the sense that they lose contact. They love him and I would never take away he is their dad. But they have witnessed a lot of horrible things when he has hit me.. he has told them your mither is evil and she deserves this. Which has caused emotional distress and most times my daughte will come to me to tell me sorry for what daddy did or said. No children should ever have to go through this. I made the decision this time that am leaving for good because it will not end good.
I know he will do everything in his power tonuse the mental health and alcohol against me. I just don't know what to do. I need to see my kids. I need them in my care. My heart breaks for my son especially because I don't even know what he is being fed. He has his special food. :(
Sorry for the long post but I just need help