Ex overly favours one child - does this count as neglect?

[TrickyExHelp]

Hi - my ex and I have a CAO that involves our 2 children staying with him for half of the school hols. Over the 6 week summer hols, we’re sharing time with the kids every other week. During term-time, the are at his every other weekend (Fri-Sun).

My daughter (youngest) keeps telling me that she doesn’t want to go to her father’s place next week because he ignores her in favour of our son (eldest). She says that she’s often alone in her room with her devices while my ex spends the majority of the day with our son. My son confirms this (he enjoys the one-on-one time with his dad). During the week, the kids spend most of the days in my ex’s house. He barely takes them out for activities.

I’m worried about the impact on my daughter. She’s says that she’s sad and lonely when she is at my ex’s place and often says that she doesn’t feel like anyone cares for her when she’s there 😢. A whole week of feeling that way must be soul destroying. Because of the CAO, I can’t simply say that she’s going to stay with me next week. Is there anything I can do - for instance, does it count as neglect? Can I report the issue to social services?

For context, my ex and I have an acrimonious relationship. He was emotionally and physically abusive during our marriage. Since breaking up, I’ve frequently had to report his harrasing/abusive text messages towards me to the police (we only communicate via text - I keep my texts ‘grey rock’). This is something that I cannot raise with him directly.

Thanks

Again, totally different circumstances but the problem is sometimes it gets to the point that the child becomes distant and although it may seem like they are not interested, they fall into that pattern of not joining in because they don't feel wanted or included.

Yes you have some children who just don't want to do something in particular that others are doing and they do what they want to do instead.

Other times they are wanting to but they feel excluded not by the activity itself but the difference between the parenting styles of them and the other. Like you are intruding.

You would think you could find a way to make both feel comfortable and involved or at least if that doesn't work, focus on them both individually with what they enjoy to compensate.

Some people however do show clear favouritism and don't try and that's what you need to work out.

I'd encourage her to join in. You will get exactly no where trying to bring it to court.

Have to agree. My DD recently won a Lego competition. Being a girl isn’t all about fluffy rainbows and barbie.