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My officer in charge is awful!

3 replies

Nissy123 · 09/08/2023 07:08

I'm having a nightmare with my officer in charge. I spoke to the police and gave a statement back in April. One police officer urged me to go forward with it because if they just went round and spoke to my ex he said he could think he could carry on harassing me ans sending abusive messages. So that's what I did. Then I was given my officer in charge.
I heard nothing, had to chase numerous times to find out what was happening. This took weeks. Finally heard from him. He just kept saying yea will arrest him soon, then it was he's spoken to another district and they will arrest him. Then they didn't, no one told me anything. I've constantly had to chase him. He said he was going to take exes phone away to look through it. He's been saying that for months. Now he's sent me a blunt email which I found a bit rude saying tbh I'm not going to take him phone away. He said ex isn't answering phone to arrange to come in the station. Although he told me he would go to his house to arrest him.

I feel I can't say too much to him as he comes off rude and blunt in his emails. He emailed Monday about something else relating to ex and my son's school. He said I start 3pm tomorrow I'll let you know what I find out. That was 2 days ago. I won't hear from him until I chase him for weeks on end!

Has anyone else had similar with the police.if so what advice can you give? My solicitor says the police are really useless and she's said I'm doing all I can do. But I feel this case isn't being taken seriously. I guess this is the reason I didn't go to the police so many years ago as I was worried I wouldn't be taken seriously.

OP posts:
Allthegoodusernamesareused · 09/08/2023 07:56

Hi. I'm making an assumption that you are in the UK. If I were you, I would make a complaint to the Police and Crime Commissioner for your area about theway your case has been handled. They will then take it up with the force, and get some answers. Individual officers are incredibly pressured, with huge workloads, but that doesn't mean communication should be poor. Have you spoken to your force's domestic abuse unit? Again, they are incredibly over worked but you may find they are able to help.

Nissy123 · 09/08/2023 10:21

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 09/08/2023 07:56

Hi. I'm making an assumption that you are in the UK. If I were you, I would make a complaint to the Police and Crime Commissioner for your area about theway your case has been handled. They will then take it up with the force, and get some answers. Individual officers are incredibly pressured, with huge workloads, but that doesn't mean communication should be poor. Have you spoken to your force's domestic abuse unit? Again, they are incredibly over worked but you may find they are able to help.

Sorry yes in the UK. I completely get how much pressure the police and every other public sector is under. I sympathise. However I just wish they would be honest or write in a nicer tone.
I wouldn't have gone through with all this if I had known I would have been treated like this. I've been so anxious about all of this for 4 months not knowing what on earth is happening

OP posts:
Allthegoodusernamesareused · 09/08/2023 10:28

Nissy123 · 09/08/2023 10:21

Sorry yes in the UK. I completely get how much pressure the police and every other public sector is under. I sympathise. However I just wish they would be honest or write in a nicer tone.
I wouldn't have gone through with all this if I had known I would have been treated like this. I've been so anxious about all of this for 4 months not knowing what on earth is happening

No, I totally get it. You can complain directly to the force themselves, it'll get dealt with by their line manager. But I do recommend contacting your local PCC as then you will have another point of contact who should be able to get you more information.

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