Ex causes my mental health to be at rock bottom and courts

[Babygirlmum]

My ex boyfriend is taking me to court to get regular contact with DD, cut a very long story short he left when I was pregnant but I won't get into that to much, he has been seeing her on and off for the past 10 months, as of recently I have been allowing her to stay over which is what he wanted and I wouldn't allow at first, the court has been applied for but I have been giving him what he wants, we started speaking again and seeing how things went between us although things ended really badly the first time, we was getting along we went in a family day out just like week, and then he asked could he take me on a date for a chat and things so that he what we done everything seemed perfect we was getting along and it was like old times, it was a long distance relationship so he has gone home we continued to speak and then it came crashing down again, one small hurdle and he called everything off and after telling me how much he wanted me he no longer wanted it, I felt used soo much, i have just a few weeks ago lost my dad so I am very vulnerable I feel like he's taken advantage of my vulnerability, he has become nasty and I told his mother who also likes to get involved on stuff and he has told her it was a mistake, how can it be a mistake when he has told me how special it was and mistakes don't happen multiple times, this made me feel like crap, I feel like he has used me for some reason and now he has blocked me, however he has applied for the court but obviously contact has stopped again, he is the one who has blocked me, I found out his family was slagging me off as a mother in which I don't want contact with his mother, I don't know what to do in this situation I have enough going on, and then to top it I have court to think about.

@Babygirlmum you need to separate his visitation with DD away from his messing around with your head. They aren't the same.

He is legally entitled to access to his child. You have been doing great by making her available to him whenever he asks. The courts will look well on that. Make sure you have child support in place as well via CMS. No informal agreements because you now know your ex isn't trustworthy.

Let him take you to court. He can explain to the judge why he suddenly needs 50/50 or more access when you have given him unlimited access already and he has choses not to have her more and if he hasn't been paying child support, you should make this clear as the likely reason.

You should stop any communication that is not directly related to access. This man is not interested in you romantically, he does not respect you and he will use you over and over again if you don't stop it all now.

It will cost him real money to go to court to force more access. Let him waste his money. You focus on you and your life. Look into the Freedom Programme as well for you so you can work on yourself and gain back the confidence this man has taken from you.

It’s probably best to resolve this via court and to have a court order in place that sets out how you should be coparenting. ATM you have too much emotional baggage to do this informally. You tried to do that and it caused far problems and acrimony.

If you want to avoid court then you should use mediation.