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Original poster

Could ex move back in against my wishes?

31 replies

beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 14:35

Not actually my ex, but anyway. My friend and her partner broke up a few months ago. Was a fairly amicable split to start with. They have 2 DC ages 8 and 11. The ex started seeing someone else straightaway, not a very stable person by the sounds of it, and has now lost his job and moved in with new GF and her young kids.

He recently called to ask if he could move back in with my friend (his former partner) if things go wrong with his new GF. My friend said no way, but is worried that legally he might have a right to do this. They share a mortgage on the house she and kids are living in. He is still paying the mortgage but making absolutely no other financial contribution. It would be very distressing for the DC who currently see him once a week and every other weekend.

Would he be able to move back in to the house against her will?

OP posts:
doozledog · 06/07/2023 14:36

Yes. He is jointly named on thr mortgage therefore he can move back when ever he likes.

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/07/2023 14:37

Legally, I'd say he probably can because it's also his house. Morally, he's a scumbag. Practically, she need to start examining her legal options now.

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 14:39

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/07/2023 14:37

Legally, I'd say he probably can because it's also his house. Morally, he's a scumbag. Practically, she need to start examining her legal options now.

Thank you. She's wanting to buy him out of the house but it's a fairly slow process to do that.

OP posts:
massiveclamps · 06/07/2023 14:40

She needs to start instigating divorce proceedings now, and change the locks so he can't let himself in whenever he feels like it. He might 'legally' have the right, but in practice she deserves the right to decide who does or does not have a key to her home.

endofthelinefinally · 06/07/2023 14:41

massiveclamps · 06/07/2023 14:40

She needs to start instigating divorce proceedings now, and change the locks so he can't let himself in whenever he feels like it. He might 'legally' have the right, but in practice she deserves the right to decide who does or does not have a key to her home.

Unfortunately she cannot legally change the locks.

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 14:42

massiveclamps · 06/07/2023 14:40

She needs to start instigating divorce proceedings now, and change the locks so he can't let himself in whenever he feels like it. He might 'legally' have the right, but in practice she deserves the right to decide who does or does not have a key to her home.

They're not married. They are both on the mortgage though.

OP posts:
SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am · 06/07/2023 14:47

Unfortunately she cannot legally change the locks.

She can legally change the locks, she would just have to provide him with a key, which she could wait to do until he complained.

She can't prevent entry forever, because he legally has right of entry, but she can certainly make it awkward - we don't always have to be completely obedient.

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 14:53

Okay, thank you. Yes, changing the locks would be an option even just to buy some time, I guess.

If he were to stop paying the mortgage, would that make a difference to his right to move back in? Or does the fact that he's contributed up until now mean he's still legally entitled to live in the house?

Ideally he would understand how distressing and destabilising it would be for the DC - but he doesn't seem to be all that bothered about the effect on them.

OP posts:
Scottishskifun · 06/07/2023 14:59

I think your best asking MN to move this to legal OP

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 15:11

Scottishskifun · 06/07/2023 14:59

I think your best asking MN to move this to legal OP

Okay, thanks.

OP posts:
SussexSeaGal · 06/07/2023 15:13

They both jointly pay the mortgage and are both jointly responsible for it..so it doesn't matter whether the money used to pay it comes from him or her...if he stops paying she'll suffer missed payments and defaults on her credit. Also if he is not paying anything it doesn't change his rights..he still legally owns the property with her.

Pinkbonbon · 06/07/2023 15:18

Possible to sell up and get her own place?

That would have been the first thing I'd have looked into when he left. Buying him out will likely take forever

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 15:43

Pinkbonbon · 06/07/2023 15:18

Possible to sell up and get her own place?

That would have been the first thing I'd have looked into when he left. Buying him out will likely take forever

Yes, that's possible. She wanted to avoid more disruption for the DC as it's already a lot for them to deal with.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 06/07/2023 15:48

Be a Heck load more disruption if he tries to move back in.

Also I mean, it's his house too.
So really best to sell and get her own place.
He deserves his share so he can do the same.

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 16:08

Originally they agreed that she would stay there with the kids and look to either sell or buy him out over the next couple of years. But that was before he decided to go rogue and get sacked etc.

Should he not be giving her any money towards the kids? Does she need to make a maintenance claim?

OP posts:
massiveclamps · 06/07/2023 16:22

beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 14:42

They're not married. They are both on the mortgage though.

Show quote history

Oh right - that makes it more tricky then.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 06/07/2023 17:16

This is precisely why sharing a mortgage without a marriage certificate is just so foolish in my personal opinion.

Places safety hat on head for those who disagree

drpet49 · 06/07/2023 17:17

doozledog · 06/07/2023 14:36

Yes. He is jointly named on thr mortgage therefore he can move back when ever he likes.

This.

Idrankyourbananamilk · 06/07/2023 17:20

AlfietheSchnauzer · 06/07/2023 17:16

This is precisely why sharing a mortgage without a marriage certificate is just so foolish in my personal opinion.

Places safety hat on head for those who disagree

How does this make it foolish? Genuinely interested, didn’t know it was more difficult to sell up or buy out a partner rather than a husband.

jmh740 · 06/07/2023 17:21

Is he working again? She will be able to claim maintenance for the children if he has an income but he doesn't have to pay the mortgage and he would still be entitled to half the house, he has as much legal right to live there as she has and its unlikely but legally he could even decide to move his new gf into the house with her and the kids, she needs to get him off the deeds asap

Lovingitallnow · 06/07/2023 17:28

@Idrankyourbananamilk split of the house wont take into account she has to house the kids if they're not married. She could get a bigger proportion if they're married.

Idrankyourbananamilk · 06/07/2023 17:34

Lovingitallnow · 06/07/2023 17:28

@Idrankyourbananamilk split of the house wont take into account she has to house the kids if they're not married. She could get a bigger proportion if they're married.

Oh of course thank you. Makes sense.

Original poster
beastlyslumber · 06/07/2023 18:21

jmh740 · 06/07/2023 17:21

Is he working again? She will be able to claim maintenance for the children if he has an income but he doesn't have to pay the mortgage and he would still be entitled to half the house, he has as much legal right to live there as she has and its unlikely but legally he could even decide to move his new gf into the house with her and the kids, she needs to get him off the deeds asap

Jesus, that's a horrifying thought.

Okay so one way or another, she needs to get the house solely in her name or sell up as fast as possible. Got it, thank you.

OP posts:
toodlesofoodles · 06/07/2023 19:06

@beastlyslumber she needs to seek legal advice asap

Mum2jenny · 06/07/2023 19:26

Any chance she can afford to pay the ex off?