Retract court for child??

[Babygirlmum]

My baby dad has applied for court for a consistent order, he hasn't been consistent in her life but none the less that's not what I'm here for today, cut a very long story short DD is 15 months old and I am letting her stay over for the first time tonight as my dad has just passed and I needed the help for my dads funeral, can they retract the court application or cancel it in anyway, they have applied I'm going to say maybe over two weeks ago now, I am now willing to sort it out amongst ourselves, will I receive a court date through the post, I am in bereavement at the moment and I would not be able to attend court any time soon, am I supposed to let my ex and his family see DD while going through the court process?

Hello, sorry this is all causing you so much stress at a difficult time. Have you been through mediation yet - this is a mandatory step before anything gets to court and in a lot of cases is very helpful. Of course if you and the baby's dad come to an mutually acceptable agreement outside of court whether through mediation or just amongst yourselves the court process can be suspended although it will be useful to document your agreement in writing either as a parenting agreement (not legally binding but helpful for both parties), or as a court order by consent. It's sensible to talk through in a supported/calm way how you plan to share parenting responsibilities in the future - not only about how much contact dad will have/how/when, but also issues that might crop up from time to time like what if one or other of you need to change contact schedule because of issues like sickness/work changes, what if DD is sick or upset, how will you decide on things like vaccinations, medical treatment or schooling if you don't agree, how will handovers work, how will you communicate with one another between contacts, what about holidays, are you both happy for the other to take DD on holidays abroad or in the UK and what should they tell the other about this etc. etc. - lots to think about which can be a bit painful but better to go through in advance than wait until the issue crops up.

Do you have a solicitor? If you can afford it it would be useful to get some legal advice just to understand your rights/responsibilities and the process. They may allow you an initial short appointment for free, worth inquiring with some local family law firms.

In the meantime yes, it probably would be a good idea to start contact between baby and their dad as you have been, within the realms of what is safe and in the child's best interests of course. Generally unless there are serious safeguarding concerns, withholding all contact pending a formal process is not looked on well by the courts as it's not thought to be in the child's best interests, but nor does that mean you need to immediately agree to all dad's requests, it depends on how used your DD is to being with him, going from very little/infrequent contact to 50:50 for a young baby including overnights is also not really sensible (for young children little and often is usually thought best).