Realistically, I’m not going to make an official complaint, but am thinking generally about what to do next. I never once thought I would feel this way so I need that third party opinion in case I just need a sense check.
I’m a professional. In my company and in my industry generally, the annual bonus is tied to how many hours of work you do and how much you bill clients. The amount of the annual pay rise also depends on your performance (everyone gets a pay rise, it’s a just a question of how much).
I returned from a year’s maternity leave 14 months ago. When I first returned I wasn’t given much work but I genuinely believe that this was because I was eased back into it, so I am grateful for that. However, as time went on, I still wasn’t given much work. I regularly emailed the managers in my team to tell them I have capacity and in our weekly team meetings I would always say I have capacity if anyone needs anything, but it was never acknowledged. During those very meetings, other team members who were already quite busy would be given work, even though I had the most capacity, and it was only very occasionally that they thought to give something to me.
When I raised it during my review meetings, I was always told there are no issues with my work and the issue is finding work appropriate for my level of seniority. At first I believed that, but then I realised someone else at the same level as me was always busy, so I didn’t quite understand why he is constantly being given new work and I’m not.
It got to the point where I was the lowest performing member in the team, and one of the lowest in the department and firm. It was a real blow to my confidence as before I went on mat leave, I was one of the highest.
We’ve now had our annual bonus and pay rise - I didn’t get a share of the bonus that is given to the whole team because I didn’t record enough hours (the only one not to), and my pay rise is minimal.
The issue is I know it’s because I didn’t hit my targets, but I didn’t hit my targets because the work was just not made available to me, no matter how much I asked for it. And I feel like the work wasn’t made available because I was off for a year and I’m now seen as somewhat on the periphery rather than a full team member.
Could that be seen as discrimination, as the consequences of being treated differently to other team members following my return from mat leave has now had financial consequences, as well as a huge blow to my confidence. If I leave within two years after returning, I need to repay the advance mat pay. Otherwise, I would be looking for a new job right now.