Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Divorce/selling house. Feel muddled

4 replies

EthelC · 26/06/2023 17:32

My ex and I still share a house and are still married.
Two young adult children, one fairly independent and away most of the time, the other still lives at home and can't imagine will be spreading wings for a few years
It's horrible for all of us still sharing a home and we are only doing so because it's cheaper (and its even harder now to move on with rent prices and mortgage rates). The (not) children can't bear living with him, we all just exist in our own rooms
I have finally got him to accept we need to take the financial hit, sell and split. Neither of us can afford to buy the other out or afford living here alone
I can't move on till we sell the house because of debt I need to clear, the monthly payments on this stop me affording anything
Ideally we need to spruce the house up a bit more to get best possible price for it (he is really untidy, cluttered and doesn't get anything done at any kind of pace, despite agreeing we need to)
We already agree we will just go 50/50 on the house sale and leave everything else alone, we have no wish to involve /solicitors courts in this
However, he is now suddenly adamant we have to divorce first in order to get financial order before selling. And this now takes at least 6 months, which depresses the hell out of me frankly
If we sell first, split as agreed and then divorce straight away, I honestly can't see the problem. I will be renting, he will likely be renting, to begin with anyway. In unlikely event of a financial order changing the 50/50 to 60/40 or whatever, then one can still make the claim on the other surely

OP posts:
PaigeMatthews · 26/06/2023 17:36

Speak to a solicitor first.

MrsSquirrel · 26/06/2023 18:05

If we sell first, split as agreed and then divorce straight away, I honestly can't see the problem.

This is why you need to speak to a solicitor first. There are several potential problems with what you are saying. It's too important to leave to guesswork.

Aside from that, your stbxh has changed his mind and does want the involvement of solicitors and courts. The course of action you were imagining is no longer possible.

EthelC · 26/06/2023 19:05

MrsSquirrel · 26/06/2023 18:05

If we sell first, split as agreed and then divorce straight away, I honestly can't see the problem.

This is why you need to speak to a solicitor first. There are several potential problems with what you are saying. It's too important to leave to guesswork.

Aside from that, your stbxh has changed his mind and does want the involvement of solicitors and courts. The course of action you were imagining is no longer possible.

I think I will see a solicitor yes

No, he still just wants a divorce with the financial order first just so that we can have the 50/50 thing in writing
He agrees that we shouldnt need to involve courts/solicitors in deciding who should have what, only to approve our pre existing agreement

OP posts:
EthelC · 26/06/2023 19:16

Ps, I believe what he is looking for is a consent order. I'd be looking for the same, but would be happy to still sell and move on in the meantime
As I say, will talk to solicitor anyway

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page