Taking me to court and grieving at the same time

[Babygirlmum]

My ex has been threatening to take me to court for a while now over child, however a week ago I lost my beloved dad and I am absolutely heart broken and I messaged BD to tell him so that maybe he could be there for DD he said he would but then 5 minutes later said I am still taking you to court, I had literally just told him I had just lost my dad and I am obviously going through a really bad time and he thinks it was acceptable to pile that onto me aswel, a week has past by he has shown no sympathy at all but be nasty to me, last night I told him it could be a while off before court as I am in bereavement I hope that he understands, the message he sent me back was giving me a load of abuse calling me a vile person and a vile mother at my most vulnerable time, like I am not going through enough to be taking this emotional abuse.

He sounds like a piece of work. If he won't listen to you the courts might. But if its over a child the chances are they would try and deal with it as soon as possible. I'm so sorry you're going through this but having been there (slightly different circumstances, but I can understand how you're feeling), I would recommend seeking some help in the form of a counsellor and possibly also a solicitor. Most solicitors will give you a free consultation if you just want to ask them some questions as this might put your mind at ease. Doesn't sound like appealing to your ex's human kindness is going to work so I think stop trying as he will just frustrate you more. Hope you're ok and it works out

I do feel you will have to separate out these events. Child visiting and a parent dying are separate issues. Nothing will happen with the court case for a bit so you will get some space. You will feel better over your dad in time. I was mid 20s when mine died so I know it’s hard. However your ex is intent on his course of action and now he’s shorn his worst side (probably again)! So hang on in there and get your case together. Can you afford a solicitor?

Sorry for your loss, but I can see why he’s frustrated - presumably he’s going through court because he feels you’re being unfair with access etc.
Why not try mediation and avoid court altogether?

No excuse for him going off on one - but in most cases I’ve seen between friends and their exes a lot could be sorted out without the need for an expensive court case.

It would be better just to sort it now and keep it amicable for the child

I’m sorry your Dad passed away, but I think you are being unreasonable expecting him to change his behaviour because of this. If he was a decent person, you’d still be with him. You can’t expect him to suddenly turn into one and grow an empathy gland because your father has passed away. Just keep the texts as evidence that he’s an abusive c*#t.

Mediation would be a start. Solicitors arrange this.