Executors and possessions after probate

[OnlyFins]

My 3 siblings are executors for my DM’s estate. We’re waiting for probate to come through and then we’ll be clearing her house. We all want different things so no issues there but one DSis wants everyone to pay for the items we get, out of the inheritance. Eg if you want the vase that’s £50 etc. My other DSis and DBro don’t agree. I’m not an executor so I don’t know the legalities. Can she try and enforce this?

This doesn't sound usual at all!

Is there a will?

Wow thanks for the fast reply! Yes it’s just to split the estate between the four children, with some sums going to charities etc. so eg no named items left to certain siblings etc.

She’s pulling a fast one. Just take the things you want. It’s generally a free for all unless stated with specifics.

If the items are of high value ( cars, valuable jewellery or art work ) then yes, you need to have them valued and try to equalise it in some way.

But not if it’s the usual household and personal items that most people have. Usually that’s just divided by agreement/ given to the charity shop . Some people get in company to clear the house but often you make little or no money out if this.

My arsehole brother made me pay. Some were items of value, some were eg £20. The house clearance guy was agog at the whole situation. My brother is, however, an arsehole.

Yes this is what she’s suggesting I think. There’s not much I would like, so I can afford say £50 but the other two executors don’t want to do it in that way so I was trying to find out more. Was there just the two of you?

That's how most people do it but, legally, all possessions are the assets of the estate (unless specifically willed elsewhere) and the executors have a duty to dispose of the estate in the interests of the beneficiaries. So, if the assets are valuable, it's not unreasonable to taken them into account when distributing the estate, both for fairness and to make sure inheritance tax is handled correctly. It's just that most familles don't bother because sentimental items usually have little market value.

OP, is there some reason why one DSis wants this? Are there a few higher value items for example, or is she just being a PITA?

Yes just the two of us as executors and beneficiaries. The valuable stuff was sent to an auctioneer before I knew and the auctioneer had been told that brother was sole executor so sent the money to him for one item that I’d definitely have paid for to give to my daughter. He was mortified when I popped up. I have no idea what brother sold for cash and pocketed (he admitted some, no idea what he was paid) but I think this was lingering resentment that I was left her jewellery. I think it’s fair enough for a sculpture worth a few hundred if only one person wants any “stuff” but I guess he got to pick first and happened to sell his pick and keep the cash, then I had to pay for my picks (only half of course).

Really strange, I've never heard of anyone doing that.
My DM passed away last year and we, dsis x 4 and my aunt cleared the house and took what we wanted, discussing it as we went along "could I have this if no-one wants it" etc.
No-one thought about charging the others

The job of the executors is to maximise the estate so selling some things of value. It would be fair to each choose an item of sentimental of no money value each. When Mum died me and 4 sisters all chose one sentimental item each. I chose Mums bread board. My sister chose a cake tin to store cakes in, another sister her cookie jar. My youngest sister chose her icing set and other sister chose a letter rack. We all had our own reasons for choosing what we did. My younger sister remembers icing cakes with Mum. After that we all got a handbag as Mum had 5. We drew lots for first pick. Then Mum had named one item of value for each of us eg her engagement ring, bracelet, broach X 2 and string of pearls. I got her pearls. Clothing was all given to a charity shop in a town about 40 miles away. 8 bags of tablecloths, sheets, towels, knicknacs coasters, tablemats, lamps etc. DGC each chose something to remember their Nam by. My son got her washing machine as in process of buying his first house and a lamp and a few kitchen saucepans, my niece had her sofa and armchairs. Her car was sold, as was the house, premium bonds cashed in, shares sold. The saddest thing was finding her satin wedding dress. We took it to a charity shop.

I've only come across this once (I work for a probate solicitor) and my boss had to check if that's actually what he (the executor) was doing as he (boss) had never come across it before. I could write a book about this client!

There was a situation when my MIl died. But there were 4 children and some of the items were exceptionally valuable. Her own niece was the executor (wisely.... she was not a beneficiary and she was a solicitor).

Niece said that if there were going to be arguments then the whole lot would go to auction and if people wanted it all badly enough they could bid for it on the open market.

I thought that was quite sensible.

In the end DH bid over the odds for the bits he desperately wanted - a painting or two and a bookcase. One of my SILs also bid for a painting or two. The proceeds of course were then all split according to the will- which was all equally shared anyway.

My son got her washing machine as in process of buying his first house and a lamp and a few kitchen saucepans, my niece had her sofa and armchairs.

Those practical things are the best, in many ways, because, every time you use them, you think of the person who owned them. I got my grandparents' kitchen knives - nothing special, just cheap ones but I still use them every day, thirty years later. They mean more to me than my grandma's jewellery which is so old-fashioned that I don't wear it.

When my mother died we each said what we wanted. If two people wanted the same thing they tossed a coin. Nothing left the house without full agreement of all 4 siblings but we never paid. Tbf there was nothing of great value as our Mother had already put her car and jewellery in her will.

Regarding my parents, when their time on earth is up, there’s dad's fishing kit and a painting one brother would like, I’ve got first dibs on their record collection and there's a piece of furniture that was our nans that our younger brother has always liked i cant imagine us wanting to charge each other. Are you sure a spouse/partner isn’t planting ideas in your sibling's head?

So money paid goes into a pot then shared out once the house is empty kind of thing?

For a second I was thinking she was going to keep the money and then thought no, that can't be right, right? 😆

That's a very clever way of sorting it out! I will definitely keep this in mind for the future

We are doing take it if you want it but if two people do, then draw lots. Anything of value is/has gone to auction and will be divided.

Unless your family owned antiques, most nicknack type stuff is worth a fiver if you're lucky.

With DGM, items were valued. Mum & Aunt chose what they wanted. All the (adult) GC could choose one item up to £200 or something. Other valuable things no one wanted went to auction. Then all the GC (&GCC) were pleaded with to come and take anything else they wanted before house clearance came.

No she’s not keeping the money. That would be a real CF move!

It might be important to “pay” if one person wants something of high value and others want mementos. Equality of choice or those having a high value item pay. Always best to give away high value items before you die!!