C79 or C100

[upupandawayhopefully]

Hi,

Child arrangements order in place, we both have parental responsibility, 50:50 care the children are 13 and 16.

My problem is I wish to take the kids abroad but in doing so I will eat into 4 or 5 days of my ex’s 7 days with the kids which is a school holiday period. My ex has demanded I swap school holiday days for school holiday days or weekend days of her choice or she will refuse to allow them to go on the holiday, within the custody order section 8 the kids can stay with one parent up to 14 consecutive days plus travel time, and school holidays shall be shared equally. Currently I get 31 school holiday days and she gets 38 each year so she has 7 more days of school holidays than I do. She gave me the dates she wanted to swap for and they do not suit me and she is unwilling to bend on the dates, I have stated we do not share the holidays fairly as she gets more so she should actually pick term time days to make things fair. I have suggested to her that she picks one school holiday day or weekend day then three term time days to bring us closer to sharing the school holidays fairly, she still has an extra day advantage with that offer.

She is refusing point blank my offer and will only accept school holiday days or weekends of her choice or she wants me to take them in my week with them which is impossible due to school time and flights. The kids are upset she is acting like this as she has no plans for them when I am wanting to go away and obviously they enjoy going abroad with me. I have battled with her for several months on this subject and all she says is take me to court so that is where I am at.

So basically she has agreed to them going on holiday when I need to but only if I meet her unreasonable demands. Should I enforce the order with a C79 to make her share the holidays fairly and request from the judge the days I need and what she should get or do I go with a C100 and have a judge decide if the girls should go on holiday? The issue with a C100 is it requires mediation which I know she will refuse, this would mean I not only pay court costs but also for a MIAM.

Given the amount of messages and letters and time I have spent on this with her and I know her very well what I am sure what she will do is allow me to pay for court then she will back down just so it has cost me money, what are my options from that point on if that happens? What could be put in place to stop her acting the same way again on the next holiday? This is not the first time she has done this but it's the first time I will probably need to take court action.

I feel its a complete joke and a waste of time and money going to court but this is how she is and was during the divorce and the custody case, she wound the judge up then with her shenanigans.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Just swap the days like she asked in the first place.

You enjoy being ridgid and flexing your power/threat of court over her don't you?

Ignore the last two posts - they're not helpful.

So you have a s8 order that gives you equal time during holidays, yet the mother has a week more than you.

Looks as well like the dates need to be agreed nearer the time and are not set in stone.

You cannot at the moment agree the dates. One of you must apply to court. Courts don't like having to deal with these cases - they should be unnecessary as parents should be flexible enough to accomodate both parent's desire to have 2 weeks of holiday in the summer. It may take a few months before your first hearing, and even longer before a final hearing. You need a MIAM from a mediator before you issue a C100. Might be cheaper and quicker all round if you try mediation anyway. But if the mother simply won't agree your dates because she wants a week more than you in summer she's in breach of the order and I'd issue a C79. You don't need a MIAM for a C79 enforcement application.

the children are 13 and 16

Do your children have any disabilities?

Collaborate

I fully understand why a judge wont be pleased having something like this put in front of them. It does sound like the C79 is my best option which was my thought. The last thing I wish to do is go to court but all she says on the subject now is "take me to court"

Last year she took two months to agree to the holiday, she picked five days to swap. She held the passport for one of the girls I held the other, the one she had she lost so I had to get a replacement, then upon returning she demanded another five days were owed to her on top. I just cant keep going through this rubbish with her it takes a toll on me and my partner as I spend so much time dealing with my ex.

No there are no disabilities.

Sounds like you need less flexibility - perhaps the first 3 weeks with one parent and the second 3 weeks with the other.