To wed or not to wed? And house-buying too

[LoveRules]

Both of us are 50 with teen kids from previous long marriages.

We are keen to combine households so we can maximise our time together - fed up of being an hour from each other.

I have 50% equity in a house I bought last year for £450k on a 5-year fixed mortgage so would need to port over in order to avoid early repayment penalties.

He has a savings pot of £30k towards a future house purchase . Really was very generous to his ex who got the entire marital home so he could take his pension untouched. They divorced incredibly amicably with very little legal input.

I earn three times more than he does but his is practical and technically gifted so is expecting to renovate a do-er upper single-handedly.

I have a hunch it would not be in my best interests to get married in case we ever part ways but it is being discussed as an option. And I would love to show our tribes how committed we are to one another with a wedding.

When we combine households is there a way of structuring the ownership paperwork that our proportions are retained if we were to split but if the other dies the other one inherits their share and it remains their home.

Do we or I need to seek formal legal advice?

You need legal advice but if I were you I wouldn’t touch marriage with a bargepole & would make sure the house was owned as tenants in common (in unequal shares) so that you can leave your full share to your kids.

No way would I risk my heard earned wealth being lost in divorce or death.

Get your solicitor to register a deed of trust against the house at land registry , we have one as I had a chunk of equity when we bought current home - it cost £100 and means that if the house is sold I get my equity back and the balance is split 50/50

Christ don't get married whatever you do.

A pre-nuptial agreement will do the job. Provided it is properly drawn up, there is full financial disclosure, both parties receive independent advice, and no-one signs under duress, any settlement in divorce will follow the pre-nuptial agreement unless it would be clearly unfair to do so in the circumstances.

Inheritance is not affected by a pre-nuptial agreement. That is entirely down to what you put in your will.

You would be mad to marry because it would completely threaten your children's inheritance.

Now I'm really confused.

My will currently has my children inheriting whatever I've got when I die as redrafted when I divorced their dad but actually if they are fully fledged adults when i die maybe I'd want my other half to not be made homeless.

Does being married overwrite a will? Or you draw up a new one on marrying.

Some are saying definitely don't get married which feels a shame but I've never heard of a pre-nuptial agreement. I mean I have with celebs but never took any interest in what they were

I wouldn’t, sorry.

I'm getting married this year and having a deed of trust (I think! Have emailed solicitor about it) drawn up which says that I keep my equity if we divorce and if I die it goes to my son, and any equity post marriage gets split 50/50. It's not that complicated.

Marrying cancels any previous wills unless they were made in contemplation of marriage. If you are going to marry you will need a new will. If you make a new will prior to marriage, you need to include a clause saying that you expect to be married to your partner and that you do not intend the marriage to revoke the will.

I'm not sure why a previous poster said it would threaten your children's inheritance. If you are married and you don't make adequate financial provision for your partner in your will, he would be able to make a claim. But you would be able to leave him a life interest in your share of the house with it then passing to your children.

Anyone can have a pre-nuptial agreement. Whilst such an agreement is not directly enforceable, the courts will follow it for any divorce settlement provided the conditions set out in my last post are met.

Thanks @prh47bridge this is straightforward advice. Much appreciated

The issues 1 by 1:
House Ownership: if you buy together as ‘Joint Tenants’ full ownership immediately passes to the survivor on the death of the other. If you buy as ‘Tenants In Common’ you can get a deed drawn up that specifies what proportion is owned by each of you as an individual.

Your Will: If you marry you will need to write a new Will as marriage invalidates an existing Will. If you own your house as Tenants in Common you can leave your share of the house directly to your children. But you can put in your Will that you leave a life interest for your surviving partner, e.g they can live in they house til they die, or re-marry, or for a set number of years. You can do this whether or not you are married, as long as you own as TiC. You would need a solicitor to write this will.

Marriage: if you want to protect your assets for your children take great care with your Will, and do a pre-nup. This would give you the best protection in a divorce, but a court would want to see that your DH could support himself after divorce. Likewise if you marry the Will could be challenged if your DH was left unable to live / support himself.

A pension is not counted as part of your Estate for the purposes of a Will or for IHT. You can name your children as the beneficiaries of your pension if you have a private / defined contribution pension.

A solicitors advice would be useful. You can ring fence your deposit, if you marry you can have a prenup.

You need to rewrite your will after you marry as marriage voids it

As per my previous post, a will that is written in contemplation of marriage remains valid after marriage. OP can therefore rewrite her will now provided she makes it clear that she intends to marry her partner and that she does not intend marriage to revoke the will.

Thanks so much all. Very helpful advice. I'm glad I asked the Qs as was feeling a bit bamboozled by it all.