LPAs

[fortheloveofgodmary]

Hello, I'm trying to find out how much it will cost to complete LPAs for both finance and health using a solicitor. My parent has been told by siblings it will cost thousands and are discouraging the use of a solicitor.
My parent has chosen my older siblings to be LPA. I am my parent's carer and do all their day to day finances and care such as medical appointments, medication, housework, gardening, shopping, bill paying etc. I live close by and see them daily. Siblings are not involved in anything except normal parent-child visits. I don't want to have LPA really and am LC/NC with my siblings.
I am advising getting a solicitor to sort LPA because it's turned into a huge stressful situation and the ones submitted have now been retracted by my parent.
Thank you.

I don't want to have LPA really and am LC/NC with my siblings.

That's a disaster, waiting to happen. Why on Earth don't you want POA? Your life is going to be 100 times harder, once your parent loses capacity, if you are the carer, but you are LC/NC with the siblings who hold POA.

I have LPAs in place for both parents, both health and welfare, and financial. I don’t do anywhere close to the level of caring you have described.

They paid the solicitors fees but I wouldn’t have thought that fees would have been more than hundreds, not thousands.

I believe given the situation you describe with LC/NC siblings and you doing the majority of the caring, it very important to involve a solicitor. The solicitor won’t affect your parents decisions about what happens to them and their assets in the event of them becoming incapable, but they will guide the process of decision-making, and ensure than those decisions have to be carried through. If you and your siblings don’t get on, that would come in very handy when things get tough, for you.

Wishing you well, reading between the lines, it sounds like a really tough situation you’re in.

And as PPs have said you should definitely get LPAs in place and go for Power of Attorney over their estate, particularly since you are their main carer.

Why don’t you want LPAs or POA in place, OP? If it’s simply because it’s too much hassle, let me tell you it will be 100 times more hassle when the time comes (that your parents lose capacity) if you DON’T have these in place.

Thank you. I'm ready to cry over this and I never cry. This has been going on for the past year now and my siblings have hit the roof that the application has been withdrawn. My parent doesn't understand what they have signed and if I ask they just say well I must have done at the time along with mainly saying they don't know in answer to any questions. The guide wasn't provided beforehand. My name was put on as a replacement without discussion and the forms submitted without my signature so maybe they'd have been sent back anyway because of that. They don't seem to understand I wouldn't have any power to help them if they were in hospital unconscious for example because I'm not an attorney.
I wasn't asked to be one, My siblings have assured my parent they will run any decisions by me but legally they don't have to. Both siblings work full time. I work full time for my parent.
I had another thread under a different name a while back and as a result of that I deregistered myself from my parent's banking app that I had access to (with their consent) and can no longer access their bank to help with bill paying unless I am physically with them and they are looking at the screen with me. That was fun when I was ill with covid and couldn't help. We are supposed to be speaking to the bank to see about me being an additional card holder or third party for the account but I don't know if that's possible and will keep strict records of day to day finances.

@ItsCalledAConversation my siblings will have POA and will have to deal with everything. They won't want that and will still expect me to do most things.

This all sounds a muddle. Who has withdrawn the original LPA application?

It sounds as if your parent (can you not just say mother or father - it would be a lot easier?) may not longer have capacity, in which case you are not going to be able to put an LPA in place at this stage.

It wont cost thousands, you can also look online to sort yourself but find a little legal firm in your area and ask for advice.

My parent has withdrawn it after I pointed out that I'd no longer be able to do certain things because that power had been given to my siblings. There's this misconception that nothing will change and I'll continue to do everything.

I do worry about the confusion. It's typical confusion of old age rather than any signs of dementia but it's still a worry. If something is explained then they are unable to process all the information and explain it back to you so that worries me in terms of knowing what they are signing. This is too much for them to cope with and they get upset and frustrated. For example they didn't understand what jointly and severally means. Ive explained but I doubt they could tell me what it means if I asked. They keep getting mixed up over the POA and executors of the will and I keep having to repeat that the POA is for when they are alive and ends with their death.

In that case, a solicitor is unlikely to feel that your DM/DF has capacity to apply for a LPA - but it would be worth a conversation with one, to discuss options.

On the bright side, the current situation leaves you in a better position than if your NC siblings had POA and you didn't. That would be a nightmare.

My biggest worry is that they don't understand. They didn't realise my name had been added to the forms. Swears blind I was asked to be attorney but then remembers I wasn't asked because of something they'd incorrectly thought about my situation. I just keep being told that my siblings will discuss everything with me and my other siblings. Any questions I have and I'm told to speak to the attorneys about it because my parent doesn't know. I'm seen as being interfering and difficult because I can see how this is all going to go pear shaped. This is nothing new, it's always been my fault all my life 🙄

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow do you really think a solicitor would deem them not to have capacity? Even though there's no dementia? That really changes things if so and it's even more important to seek legal advice.

If something is explained then they are unable to process all the information and explain it back to you so that worries me in terms of knowing what they are signing.

Obviously I cannot know for sure without meeting your mother (sorry, I just CBA with the mystery sex). However, an ability to process and retain information is one of the cardinal tests of capacity, and you are saying that she cannot do this.

However, capacity is situational: someone can have capacity to make certain decisions, but not others. A solicitor may feel that she does have the capacity to appoint POA, even if she gets muddled about some of the technicalities.

Thank you. I feel like telling them all to just crack on with it. I'm not a chosen attorney so they will have to do everything if the need arises. They are very happy for me to continue doing everything. Of course they are because me doing everything means they do nothing!

Capacity is on an individual decision basis e.g. your parents may have capacity to make small day to day financial decisions but lack capacity to make the decision over POA

to have capacity to make the decision they would need to

• understand the information (can be given in any format) in order to make the decision
• remember the information long enough to make the decision
• weigh up - the pros and cons of the decision
• communicate their decision

your parent does not seem to be able to do this regarding their LPA indicating a lack of capacity to make this decision. You may need to look into deputy under COP but I think it’s a more complicated process

I've had a further conversation and at the moment the plan is to see a solicitor. Thank goodness. The Will needs changing too it seems but I've said that's not for discussion with any of us but with a solicitor. I feel much more relaxed now and they do too. They felt pressured NOT to seek legal advice by my siblings
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to post, it's much appreciated.

Good luck with it all OP, relieved you’ve all agreed to see a solicitor about all this.

Ive done mine online, it is really really easy, make sure you are on the government website. £82 for a Power of Attorney, £82 for Lasting Power of Attorney. Discounts for those on benefits or low wage.https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney.