Protecting myself (money)

[Misskittyfantastico85]

I'm widowed and 37. I am mortgage free and have had a life insurance payouts and pensions from my late husband. I have a 13 year old daughter.

I don't have a massively high income (around 20k) so have been using very small amounts of my capital to top me up each month.

Over the last 18 months I have been in a relationship with a new man. We have talked about moving in together in the near future. My daughter is on board with this, he is a long term family friend, not just someone I have just met.

He is currently renting, so our plan is for me to sell my house and move in with him (share bills, rent etc) I know it would make far more sense for him to move in with me, but I just can't it doesn't feel right. And then to buy somewhere together.

Although, he has next to no savings due to a messy divorce. His income is nearly triple mine. I was thinking of buying another house outright for us to move into together, and then a small house or flat to rent out to top up my income.

I'd love to get married to him, but need some advice on the best way to protect my capital in case of divorce. At this moment I'm absolutely not even thinking of not being with him, but people have all been having their say telling me to protect myself and I just don't really know where to start. Any advice please

While pre nuptial agreements aren't water tight by any means, they are (in my opinion, I am not a lawyer before someone shoots me down!!) a good protection as they clearly state intentions for division of assets before marriage. If things change after marriage, you can get a pre nup amended to be a post nup also.

They are designed to give clarity, some may say it's unromantic to enter into marriage thinking about divorce, but many many marriages do sadly end this way, and if you have one and never need it, happy days.

I had one, cost me about £2k to get drawn up and outlined who put in the deposit for the house, who paid for renovations, who paid the mortgage (100% me on all counts), and what would happen if we split up. I loved my ex husband when we got married and wasn't planning divorce. We split up and the pre nup saved me about £250k versus what would have happened if we'd gone 50:50. We weren't married that long and he received what was outlined in the agreement plus more to help him get himself a house etc.

Speak to a good solicitor, get it done, put it in a drawer and live happily hoping it just gathers dust and is never needed

Thank you so much. I know what you mean about it feeling unromantic, but like you say unfortunately so many marriages do end in divorce now. I've had people say that if I'm that worried not to marry him, but I really would like to. I just know that I can't go in all rose tinted because that's not life.

People do keep saying that pre nups aren't legally binding, but I'm so pleased to hear that it worked out for you.

A properly executed pre-nuptial agreement where there has been full financial disclosure, both sides have received independent advice and neither side was forced to sign under duress will be upheld by the courts unless it would be clearly unfair in the circumstances, or it fails to provide adequately for any children.

What if you were married and then you died before him? He could easily cut your daughter out. Better to not get married.

A friend had a similar issue. She felt very strongly that she couldn't enter into a financial partnership with her new partner unless her late husband's share of their assets was adequately ringfenced for the children.
when the late marital home was sold, half the proceeds was transferred into a trust for the children, along with two thirds of the life insurance payout (which she had never touched).
The new house was purchased as tenants in common with her new partner and her will leaves her half to her children, with a life interest to her partner. His Will says the same (though his beneficiaries are his own nieces).
They were both quite sure there would be no more children - you are young and may come to a different decision on that.

No, he couldn't provided OP's will protects her daughter's inheritance. The property they buy together should be owned as tenants in common with a deed of trust setting out how much of it they each own (assuming OP should own more than 50% as she has the most capital). OP's will should then leave him with a life interest in her share of the house with it passing to her daughter on his death.

Also, assuming OP's daughter is treated as a child of the family (which seems likely), she may be able to make an Inheritance Act claim against him if he doesn't make adequate financial provision for her in his will.

Why not keep your house as security in case it doesn't work out. 18 months is still fairly early days in a relationship even if you knew him longer. At least you would have somewhere to go if it didn't work out. You could rent it out and use that as extra income?

Whatever about your relationship I definitely would not get off the property ladder. That seems mad.

The best way to secure your financial future seems to be to earn more though. £20k seems very little to live on, even without a mortgage.