Sister trying to steal inheritance

[Player456]

I feel uneasy about this, but need some advice.

Me sister owns her own house (due to getting it in divorce).

I was a single mother, when I met DH I moved into his house (housing association, his ex wife was on the tenancy, but now it is in his sole name, not sure how that affects things, but leaves me feeling vulnerable).

My parents have mirror wills. They have a house worth between 350 - 700k. The wide price range is due to the fact that it is two houses, but hasn't been properly separated (there is still an internal door into each 'house'. Not sure how much it would be to properly separate. The property comes with an astonishing amount of land though, right in the middle of town, so they have been offered lots of money from builders/developers over the years.

Originally the will was to split the property between me and my two siblings, with Dbro allowed to live there. He died in 2020, and has no dependants.

Dad died in 2021. The will is such, that mum is allowed to live there for the rest of her life, but dad's share was left to my sister and I. Mum's will go to us on her death (hopefully a long time away, but she is nearly 81).

If mum wants to sell up she can, but we get our share immediately.

My Dsis has decided she wants a much bigger house. She has suggested that she sells her house and mum sells hers. That I get my share and mum and Dsis pool theirs and buy a property for 900k.

Mum told me this to 'reassure' me she won't do this, but Dsis is really pushing. Dsis thinks this is a great deal for me too, but actually it isn't.

Here's the problem - if this did happen, then surely Dsis would then need to give me half of mum's share - maybe even sell her house to give me this.

Dsis has spoken to her friends, who have told her that if mum does this, then it would be that mum 'gifted' her her share, and I would be wouldn't be able to claim anything.

I should also add that mum is still there, though Dsis has been insisting for years that mum has memory problems (she thinks dementia, I don't). So I'm not sure if she gets mum to do this (which mum doesn't want to right now), whether it would stand.

I should add that if anything happened to Dsis or I before mum, then our share would fall to our children. This is repeated in mum's will.

Mum has told me not to say anything, but I'm not sure what to do with this information, as it has unsettled me.

I forgot to mention, according to the wills, if mum wanted to sell up, then we all have to agree, not sure if that was enforceable if Dsis got around DM and it was two against one?

I’m not sure I totally follow.

Your sister wants your mum to sell her house, give you 50% of the value, and then use the other 50% to buy a house with her so that they can live together?

Have I misunderstood?

I don’t see how that’s tricking you out of money, though it may not be what your mum wants, of course.

It sounds more like her mum sells, OP gets 25% and the other 75% gets put into her sisters new house that their mum will live in. Meaning when her mum dies there will be no inheritance because it will be her sisters house

She wants to give you the 25% from your Dad and then use the rest to suit herself. I would refuse to allow the sale - check that that’s possible and look out for your mum’s best interests as your sister can’t be trusted.

Surely, if she wants to invest mums money whilst she is alive -
sell mum and dads house
give you and sister 50%
AND. Give you 50% of mum’s share so she can invest her share and mums remaining money in bigger house. Will mum live with her, free of charge?
she is being sly and manipulate - watch her!

I would suggest that your sister sign over her half of your dad's share to you and then she will inherit all of your mum's half, which will be invested in her house.

I would also bear in mind that a time may come where it will give you huge peace of mind to have your mum living safely at your sister's house.

Has the land registry been updated to reflect that (if I've followed correctly) you and your sister now part-own the house together with your Mum? If not then get that done.

In any case you can and should set up a land registry alert.
https://www.gov.uk/protect-land-property-from-fraud

It is totally possible for your mum to buy something with your dsis whilst protecting everyone.
if your dsis and your mum were to buy together, your mum could ring fence that money so this would stay hers and hers only. I would very strongly advise her to do that, even wo the issue of inheritance. Otherwise, if anything was going with your dsis (eg she needed some cash and to sell the house, she would die very yung leaving the house to her dcs etc...), your mum would be left with nothing at all.

By ring fencing your mum's part, you would also be pritecting your inheritance too.
Your dsis might find it harder as she would then have to pay you the half of your mum part and she might well find it extremely tricky.
Please also bear in mind that the prive of the new property might behave differently over time (better or worse) than the one your mum, dsis and you currently have.

Basically, its feasible but your mum and you absolutely need a visit to a good solicitor first and foremost.

What JenniferBarkley suggests seems sensible. In that way your sister and mother can still go ahead and buy their house and you get your inheritance early. Paperbagsaremine is correct too about the land registry. My father left his house to my sister and I and my mother had a life interest in it and was his executor. She did not update the land registry to reflect that my sister and I were the new owners of the house. It made a complicated mess after she died and two solicitors refused to have anything to do with it, fortunately the third knew what to do and got it sorted, but it was a nasty few months.

Do you have power of attorney arranged in advance for your mum?

If not then I strongly suggest that you do so to stop the potential of your mum being financially exploited

This is good advice. Please speak to your mum about POA

Your mum and sister need to remember (particularly your sister if she believes your mum has early dementia) that caring for someone with advanced Alzheimer's or other type of dementia is extremely draining no matter what size of house you live in.

Does your mum have other assets that could be used to pay for care at home with your sister if she needed it, possibly for years? Possibly 24/7? If this wasn't possible and she had to go into a nursing home then she would likely find her self considered self-funding. If she "gifted" the house to your sister then the council would certainly claim deprivation of assets.

Thank you all.

The house was put into trust for us by the solicitor. I then found out that my parents house had never been registered with the land registry, so we saw a solicitor to sort that out a few months ago.

I would happily have mum with me, the only problem has been she has two dogs that do not get on (and have to be in separate places). But that looks likely to be resolved imminently.

I was always closer to mum than Dsis (who even told mum she wished she had cancer instead of dad). Unfortunately I've been immobile for a while, so whereas I went to her house a lot and helped out, for months or so now, I've literally been unable to get there, but am still the first person she rings for reassurance.

I do think that she will be unable to be alone for much longer, and we (DH and I) were begged by dad to move in with her to help out, but I know Dsis would worry we would stay (although the will absolutely does not allow for that, only Dbro who died). Plus I'm not sure how feasible it is, due to the way the property is right now.

I would prefer mum come to us, but Dsis wouldn't allow it (she has been given money from mum (and dad whilst alive), but I know that mum's money is running out.

I think POA would be a good idea to look into. I must admit I've been a bit head in the sand over it, preferring to not think about things, ever since Dbro died unexpectedly (which really affected me).

if you mum and sister buy a house together it would be nothing but inappropriate to buy as joint tenants as opposed to tenancy in common under a joint trust. Clearly this is what a solicitor should do if made aware that there are 2 daughters who should inherit. The former method of ownership allows for your sister to get your mum’s share by mere fact of survivorship. However, with a tenancy in common your mother can leave her half to you both in her will. Upjohn her death and at this stage, you can insist that the new house is sold to pay you your share or she can buy you out.

However with most things there are so many complications eg if your mum requires nursing care there could be a charge made by local authority against that house.

You need to speak to the solicitor who drew up the original wills and trusts. They will go through everything and see what is feasible and what can be done. As far as I am aware, if your mother's house is sold and the proceeds invested in another house owned jointly with your sister, then your holding in the trust means that you will continue to own a proportion of the new house.
What you and your sister both need to bear in mind is what happens if your mother needs long-term care that has to be paid for. You need professional legal advice asap.

If you receive half now and your mum uses her half to buy with your sister, who then inherits that half - well that sounds fine.

If you receive 25%, your sister receives 25%, and she buys with your mum and later receive her 50% too - nope that needs nipping in the bud.

Can I suggest you make contact with Help the Aged to talk to them about protecting your mother and her assets. Make sure that both you and your sister have PoA, where you are BOTH needed to sign any financial docs, which should spike her guns and ensure that you mum gets the happiest outcome. Other than that, seek a good solicitor to protect your's and your mother's rights.

OP please take a solicitor's advice on this - DH and I are in the process of setting up a similar arrangement with our house, and our solicitor said please don't look things up on the internet - it will only confuse you and most of the advice will be wrong anyway!

OP get your mum to sort POA ASAP it can be done anytime and is best done well in advance.
I have POA for both my parents they are in their mid 60s!

Should say I don't need it but it's sorted for when the time comes as it takes weeks/months to finalise

If your mum is elderly and requires help, then maybe it's a good idea. They'd have to use a solicitor and work out how to protect the inheritance. For example register as tenants in common.

You seem to be looking at this from the view of preserving your mum’s capital so that you can have half of it when she dies. But it’s very reasonable for your mum to use that capital to make her old age better if she wants to - even if it means more of the money going to your sister if she takes on the role of carer.

Your mum can and should preserve her ownership if she goes in with your sister to buy a place together. That should protect her if your sister is unable/unwilling to continue the arrangement for any reason. Your sister would rightly be wary of that ownership forming part of an estate that is immediately liquidated and split between her and you when your DM dies as it might force her into a property sale when she does not want to move. But a solicitor should be able to write a will that protects your sister for as long as she and your mum feel reasonable in those circumstances.

For instance, my mother has just moved in with my brother. In recognition of the cost to him of upending his life, investing in a property with her and taking on the role of carer, my mum’s will now leaves her estate 2/3rds to him and 1/3rd to me with an agreement that he can pay me for the 3rd of her ownership of their property over 10 years (with a low interest rate) if he doesn’t want to sell the house.

Where does your mum want to live? With you? Your sister? Remain in the house and have a carer? Move into supported housing elsewhere?

It does sound like your sister might be in a better position to care for her as she ages if you all ready have mobility problems of your own. Why is it that your dad begged you to take her in? Why is your mum talking about what your sister has proposed and asking you to keep them quiet? Are you sure it’s your sister who is manipulative? Dementia can lead to some odd and unpleasant seeming personality traits sometimes.

Can you not all three sit down at a table and talk about arrangements to make her old age the best it can be so that these things can be ironed out? Possibly with a mediator, social worker or solicitor if you need some expertise?

I'm afraid that any mediation is not feasible as mum has told me something which triggered me from when my Dbro was dying.

She (or rather her DP) had 'borrowed' Dbro's car (which he'd actually signed over to dad), for collecting something. Then she refused to give it back for ages.

Finally dad did get it back and spent a fortune on doing it up. He then lent it to Dsis's DP when he was doing paid work for them. It had been done up and was working fine, it was only used for him to go to mum & dad's and home again..

On the very last day of him working, the car 'broke down' when he got home. Dad asked for it back, but it couldn't be returned because it wouldn't start.

When dad died Dsis said he'd promised to give her his other car.

Dsis and her DP have a few cars between them, including one that dad gave her.

She's now said that the car dad wanted back is working again and her DP wants it...but not to mention it to me. Apparently dad said he could have it (completely different to what he said and he certainly wouldn't have spent a £1000 on doing it up

I said when Dbro died that they intended to keep this (luxury, very expensive) car and have now been proved right. I said to mum we've never had anything of them, never had a car, a washing machine like Dsis, or a freezer or loans/gifts of money. This car caused a lot of arguments when Dbro was dying as we didn't have a car and asked dad if we could borrow the car to visit him, dad told my Dsis's DP this and he went off in a temper, causing a massive rift. Dsis said they were just borrowing to visit Dbro, but went mad when asked if we could for the same reason.

I’ve had something very similar in my family!

OP, please tell your mother that before anything is done you and she need to see a solicitor to discuss how to do this - or something else - in a way that is fair to all & meets your mother’s needs.

Also get both types of POA drawn up, both money one & health & welfare.

What’s being proposed is very sneaky, and very greedy, and without legal advice from a disinterested professional your mother - elderly and possibly with limited capacity - is very vulnerable. She could well be pressurised into doing something that disadvantages you without fully understanding what the consequences are.

Please see a solicitor! (One who specialises & Wills & POAs.)

As a separate issue, given what you’ve said about your mother’s relationship with your sister I would be concerned about your mother - frail, vulnerable, & likely to need increasing care & patience - living with your sister.