Every weekend contact

Sara182 · 2023-04-26T21:19:04+00:00

Good evening all. I am panicking about my upcoming child arrangement order hearing. Is it likely if tow parents are working Monday - Friday 9-5, that every weekend contact will be ordered?

Dontbelieveaword · 26/04/2023 22:52

Has there been no inkling whatsoever in the build up to the hearing of what both parties are wanting/requesting or are you disagreeing? Is one party asking for 50/50 shared contact?
If there are no reasons not to (eg, abuse, neglect etc) and one party is asking for weekend contact then it's likely that they could order either every other weekend or a split weekend.
But it's impossible to predict or even guess on so little information, I'm afraid.

ThisSingleMama · 26/04/2023 22:55

Very unlikely!

TizerorFizz · 26/04/2023 22:55

@Sara It depends on age of children and their views. What else do Dc do at weekends? It’s quite usual for the non resident parent to have 5/14 days/nights. So I would start thinking about how this might be accommodated. Is there any reason why weekends plus a weekday are difficult?

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 26/04/2023 23:00

It is unlikely, kids need their weekends with each parent to bond with them. I think it is almost impossible for this to happen UNLESS you agree to it OR if your children are teenagers with strong views of where they want to spend the weekend.

Original poster

Sara182 · 26/04/2023 23:40

Thank you all for the responses.

At moment he has our child every weekend but I have her every other Sunday. I have our child during the week.

I have asked the courts for every other weekend and he has one night during the week. 50/50 school holidays.

OP posts:

TizerorFizz · 26/04/2023 23:45

@Sara182
50:50 in the holidays moves away from a routine. I would start looking at a holiday with him but you stay as the parent giving most care. Would that work? It’s fairly easy to organise that.

Original poster

Sara182 · 26/04/2023 23:53

What do you mean?

Ex does not live near us so dropping off/picking up from school would not be an option.

I thought 50/50 school holidays would be ok as we both get a nice quality time with our child.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sara182 · 27/04/2023 01:41

Hi. Are you suggesting EOW? And the child stays with one parent during the week and May a 1 night contact for the non resident parent?

OP posts:

Original poster

Sara182 · 27/04/2023 01:55

Hi. Ex wants me to have our child every weekend and he has child Monday- Fri.

arrangements at the moment are:
ex:
Thurs afternoon for 2 hours
every weekend apart from every other Sunday when I have child.

I want EOW.

I g be have offered bank holidays etc and 50/50 holidays.

OP posts:

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 27/04/2023 02:04

So you want LESS than he's offering?

OhcantthInkofaname · 27/04/2023 02:10

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 27/04/2023 02:04

So you want LESS than he's offering?

No, she wants M-F with her - and him EOW and one day during the week. 50/50 Holidays.

Original poster

Sara182 · 27/04/2023 06:31

How is that less?
I am offering more! Our child is in school. We both work Mon-Friday

OP posts:

TizerorFizz · 27/04/2023 08:11

@Sara182
Many parents look at a split of 5/9 over a 2 week period. This allows for continuity whilst Dc is at school. Keeps uniform and kit in one house and, for many, walking to school with friends. Holidays stay similar but parents arrange holidays for whole weeks but not necessarily 50/50. It’s agreed by logistics. Some DC want to stay nearer friends. It also depends where parents live. The main issue is routine for child so they get everything they need.

Plus what can parents actually manage? They need to be realistic.

Original poster

Sara182 · 27/04/2023 08:16

Ok. We live too far apart for that split. DC will be starting school in September.

what I mean by 50/50 is that we would split all school holidays in half. So 3 weeks each for the summer break.

OP posts:

WheelsUp · 27/04/2023 08:21

Every other weekend is preferred so that child can spend time with extended family overnight or go away with parent without having to click watch for handover.

knittingaddict · 30/04/2023 17:57

TizerorFizz · 26/04/2023 23:45

@Sara182
50:50 in the holidays moves away from a routine. I would start looking at a holiday with him but you stay as the parent giving most care. Would that work? It’s fairly easy to organise that.

50/50 in school holidays is completely normal. In fact the op's request seems to be in keeping with a common contact arrangement.

3BSHKATS · 29/05/2023 18:55

My ex got every school holiday 100%, when I said so i get all the grunt work and the running around to clubs etc and he gets them relaxed and on holiday away usually, I was told by the judge that's what you get for getting divorced - he cheated btw.

Try and nod and smile at everything in court, it rarely stays exactly the same in reality no matter what the orders say especially when the kid gets a social life and is vocal about wanting to enjoy it

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 30/05/2023 22:21

3BSHKATS · 29/05/2023 18:55

My ex got every school holiday 100%, when I said so i get all the grunt work and the running around to clubs etc and he gets them relaxed and on holiday away usually, I was told by the judge that's what you get for getting divorced - he cheated btw.

Try and nod and smile at everything in court, it rarely stays exactly the same in reality no matter what the orders say especially when the kid gets a social life and is vocal about wanting to enjoy it

That judge was way out of order! Ours was so 50/50 in his approach to holidays and special dates we had to convince him that splitting things by the middle was not going to work for any of us!

How long ago was that? I wonder how long it will take for him to try to change the arrangement to save himself thousands on holiday clubs and not having to use all his holidays to take care of the children.

Sweetheart7 · 01/03/2024 17:30

TizerorFizz · 26/04/2023 23:45

@Sara182
50:50 in the holidays moves away from a routine. I would start looking at a holiday with him but you stay as the parent giving most care. Would that work? It’s fairly easy to organise that.

I don't agree with this. What routine? Children need to get used to staying with their father for the entire week during the school holidays. My DC goes 3 separate weeks in the school hols and we do EOW court ordered.

TizerorFizz · 01/03/2024 18:49

Lots of courts don’t do 50:50. Depends on parents. When dc have friends to see in the holidays they don’t always want 50:50. When they are older they have opinions too, what do dc want? They are not possessions to be handed round. Getting used to something isn’t the same as it being the best outcome for the child. Just the possessive parent.

cls135 · 14/03/2024 16:49

Advice needed re: child contact order.
order says child is to spend 7 days with each parent over Easter. I am the resident parent. Do I need to add on the weekend contact for Easter, therefore amounting to 10 days or not?

Motherofmonkey97 · 01/09/2024 20:59

Hello,

Looking for a bit of advice.

My ex partner and I currently share custody of our child with our daughter spending every weekend with her Dad (her dad works 9-5 mon-fri). He has complained previously of never having free time on weekends, although I have her Mon-Fri and work weekends, he doesn't see this as fair.

He has now gotten legal help and is requesting that he only have her every second weekend and a few days during the week alternatively.

As I work weekends and mostly support our daughter, I don't understand how he thinks this is viable. I had literally altered my work schedule to accommodate our routine, as I assumed that due to working all week, he would be happy to have his daughter on weekends. Although as far as I am aware, the grandparents have her the majority of the time as he lives with them.

Does anybody have any advice or been in a situation similar?

Lemonychocolate · 02/09/2024 09:59

Motherofmonkey97 · 01/09/2024 20:59

Hello,

Looking for a bit of advice.

My ex partner and I currently share custody of our child with our daughter spending every weekend with her Dad (her dad works 9-5 mon-fri). He has complained previously of never having free time on weekends, although I have her Mon-Fri and work weekends, he doesn't see this as fair.

He has now gotten legal help and is requesting that he only have her every second weekend and a few days during the week alternatively.

As I work weekends and mostly support our daughter, I don't understand how he thinks this is viable. I had literally altered my work schedule to accommodate our routine, as I assumed that due to working all week, he would be happy to have his daughter on weekends. Although as far as I am aware, the grandparents have her the majority of the time as he lives with them.

Does anybody have any advice or been in a situation similar?

How old is your DD & how far your ex lives?

Motherofmonkey97 · 02/09/2024 10:14

She's nearly 2 and he lives around a 20 minute drive x

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 02/09/2024 12:33

Legally there's nothing you can do. No court is ever going to try and make a parent have their child when they dont want to. Even if you could get a child arrangments order that said he had her all weekends, legally what that means is that you have to make her ready at those times, there's nothing that can force him to pick her up or answer the door if you try to drop her off.

People go to court when they want more contact or want their ex to have less contact. Legally all he owes his child is to pay the legally required
amount of child support and even this can often be gotten around.