Executor Question

[FamilyFuckery]

DH and both have elderly parents who are very unwell sadly, and not likely to live longer than a few months. We are both joint executors, with siblings, on our respective parent’s wills.

In my case Dsis and I are in agreement that we are likely to use a solicitor to execute, and understand the costs involved. DH is joint executor with his brother. The brother is a feckless twat, both he and his wife have used FIL for years to top up their lifestyle and have come to view him as a revenue stream. This came to a stop when FIL lost capacity and DH took over his affairs as LPA. When FIL dies he would also like to use a solicitor to execute he just won’t have it in him for the inevitable wrangling with his brother after losing his dad. Due to the duplicitous nature of his brother and SIL he wouldn’t trust them to do it properly, and as joint executor would be responsible for any fuck ups or wrong-doing. BIL is unlikely to want to spend the money on a solicitor as he views FIL’s money as his. Am I right in thinking that they have to agree? And if they don’t it’s basically a stalemate until they do? There is plenty of evidence that they are untrustworthy. Sorry, that was longer than I intended!

I'd assume both would need to agree, but regardless, surely the easiest way forward is to make sure the cost comes out of your dh's share. Not fair I agree, but he's not going to be in the right frame of mind for arguing.

Or your dh can do it himself - it's not that onerous, esp if he has PoA now and presumably full knowledge of his df's finances.

Thanks, we have full knowledge of finances. There’s not much left apart from the house, which is for sale. If FIL lives long enough for it to be sold then the estate is just money and a lot easier. DH is reluctant to execute. BIL and his wife, mainly the wife, will never be happy with whatever they end up with and will always find a way to suggest that DH acted in his own interest, as that’s what they would do. FIL was doling out money to them every time they got ‘in trouble’ and they don’t seem to think there’s anything dubious or unfair about it. Their children had also started doing the same, for not inconsiderable sums. We are now at the point of asking the council to meet care costs until the house is sold, so I would imagine they will do an extensive search of FIL’s finances as they indicate this in their paperwork. This may well lead to a safeguarding enquiry as what the ILs have been doing may be considered elder financial abuse or disposal of assets.

When FIL dies DH just wants the Will execution to be as drama-free as possible. It’s a good suggestion him meeting the costs. Unfair as he’s already been disadvantaged in a way, as the estate is worth a lot less than it should have been due to their greed and fecklessness, but probably worth it for peace of mind.