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Original poster

( long post) Is it worth reporting/on file if he’s already jailed for the crime?

12 replies

mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 18:43

Sorry if a bit long

A bit outing but Basically a man, who tried the same on with me, was pretending that he or someone else and he witnessed slept with women when he/they hadn’t to try to get women to meet up with him for sex and offering money aswell on top. He also plead guilty and breeched a sexual risk order ( i think that’s the legal term) in 2019. He’s been arrested and locked up for over 4 years.

I met up with him in 2019 ( wasn’t aware of any sexual risk order) and it was consensual and I didn’t think anything was wrong with him, it was casual one off and he seemed respectful enough, and after the event we didn’t really bother with each other, fine by me.

Fast forward to july/august 2022, He wanted to meet up again, was offering 1.2k for a spit roast, but also kept saying that when we had sex that his friend came in the apartment and had sex with me from behind and came inside… i kept saying i don’t remember us doing doggy but he kept saying it happened and then kept offering this 1.2k. I told him I was pregnant and then he left me alone.

I did feel violated but I didn’t think to report because a lot of the time SA cases doesn’t get anywhere in court even with strong evidence. I didn’t think to cuss him out as that would have made me feel worse the “damage” was done.

I’ve just seen yesterday he was jailed. I’ve also seen that he’s been known to harrass women since 2016, in 2019 a girl said she was raped by him on Twitter but people didn’t believe her and surprise her case didn’t get anywhere with the police. ( i didn’t know about any of this). He’s only been jailed for manipulating two women to meet up with him but many women on SM are coming out and one of the two women has outed herself saying other women should come forward and report….

Im wondering is it even worth it to report my case and put it on file? I mean justice is served but part of me wants to, part of me thinks it’s a waste of time, especially since i didn’t meet him.

Its a bit scary and not shocking since he did the same to me but also i’m on SM a lot and I didn’t know he was a rapist or had these allegations plastered on SM I missed it all. Also in a sense don’t know why he felt he had to do manipulate me since I met up with him anyway and it was consensual??? Then again, abusers will abuse regardless.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 18:45
  • i have the evidence of him doing this to me still, was over whatsapp.
OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2023 18:48

You consented both times?
I’m really confused. The second time, were you unaware of the second man and what he did to you? What did you consent to, is the easiest question?

Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 18:56

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2023 18:48

You consented both times?
I’m really confused. The second time, were you unaware of the second man and what he did to you? What did you consent to, is the easiest question?

No there wasn’t a second time we met up. The first time and only time with me it was just consensual sex he didn’t try to manipulate me at all like he did with these other women then.

Hes been jailed for lying to women that either himself or someone else has had sex with them so that these women would meet up with him. and he’s been offering them money on top. It worked with at least two women which is why he’s in prison now.

So when he contacted me last year to meet up again he pretended that one of his friends came and had sex with me from behind without me knowing and then also offered me money.

I just told him the truth that i’m pregnant which i was at the time and he ghosted.

Is that more clear?

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 06/04/2023 18:58

Sorry, I'm not clear what you think he's done to you. Are you saying that he sneaked in someone else while you were having sex, and that person also had sex with you without you knowing? But you only know that because he said that's what happened? Because that would be really weird, but it would be the person who had sex without you knowing that would be the rapist in that scenario. Man1 .. what crime would he have committed? fraud? pimping?
I think I must have misunderstood some of what you are saying. But I hope you are OK and not too traumatised.

Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 19:03

DelphiniumBlue · 06/04/2023 18:58

Sorry, I'm not clear what you think he's done to you. Are you saying that he sneaked in someone else while you were having sex, and that person also had sex with you without you knowing? But you only know that because he said that's what happened? Because that would be really weird, but it would be the person who had sex without you knowing that would be the rapist in that scenario. Man1 .. what crime would he have committed? fraud? pimping?
I think I must have misunderstood some of what you are saying. But I hope you are OK and not too traumatised.

I guess i need to try and word this better… but basically that’s what he said happened yes.

But he’s been jailed like 5 days ago because he’s lied to women that he’s witnessed someone else have sex with them when it never even happened in order to manipulate them to meet up with him and offering them money.

So even though he said that someone sneaked in and had sex with me without me knowing i don’t think it happened, i think he lied to me like he did to these women. When he told me at the time I felt violated but I didn’t do or say anything to police as i didn’t think it would go anywhere.

I’m just wondering whether i should report he tried to manipulate me the same way half of me wants to the other half doesn’t because he’s been jailed for it already.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 19:07

DelphiniumBlue · 06/04/2023 18:58

Sorry, I'm not clear what you think he's done to you. Are you saying that he sneaked in someone else while you were having sex, and that person also had sex with you without you knowing? But you only know that because he said that's what happened? Because that would be really weird, but it would be the person who had sex without you knowing that would be the rapist in that scenario. Man1 .. what crime would he have committed? fraud? pimping?
I think I must have misunderstood some of what you are saying. But I hope you are OK and not too traumatised.

he’s been jailed i guess for sexual harassment and manipulation? Even though he’s lied to women and myself and said one of his friends/someone has had sex with them without their consent when it didn’t happen in order for these women to meet up with him and offering money for sex, it did manipulate two women to meet up with him… even though it’s a lie i guess it comes under harassment/manipulation.

OP posts:
TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2023 19:07

Ok, so you had consensual sex once and the second time was an invitation shall we say to be manipulated but no sex happened. You gave him the swerve.

I mean, in criminal proceedings, your testimony would have been very useful. But those are done now, justice has been served, and no crime was actually committed against you (although I completely and utterly understand why you might feel you’ve been the victim of a crime). I think it’s awful what you’ve been through and if you feel the need to take action, you could seek legal advice. That’s entirely up to you though. It’s so scummy and low, his actions are. You dodged a bullet! 👏

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2023 19:09

You know what? I’d report it. I just would. He’s dangerous and the more they have on him, the better.

glitterisntgendered · 06/04/2023 19:14

Call 101 and ask them? I think it can't hurt to have it on file

Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 19:23

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2023 19:07

Ok, so you had consensual sex once and the second time was an invitation shall we say to be manipulated but no sex happened. You gave him the swerve.

I mean, in criminal proceedings, your testimony would have been very useful. But those are done now, justice has been served, and no crime was actually committed against you (although I completely and utterly understand why you might feel you’ve been the victim of a crime). I think it’s awful what you’ve been through and if you feel the need to take action, you could seek legal advice. That’s entirely up to you though. It’s so scummy and low, his actions are. You dodged a bullet! 👏

Yeah.. But i found out on Twitter in 2019 he raped a girl and she outed him straight away but her case got nowhere with the police and people were calling her a liar ( i didn’t know this obviously before i slept with him). This is why i didn’t report in the first place or cuss him out. Because I felt it would got me nowhere with the police and i would have felt like shit cussing him when the “ assault” already happened.

He’s been jailed for two women he manipulated into meeting up with him in 2021, they must have had some real strong evidence. I’ve also found out that there’s been more women coming forward on twitter/social media saying he’s been harassing them since 2016! I do have evidence of him trying to manipulate me because he did it through whatsapp.

I don’t know in a sense why he felt like he had to manipulate me into a second meeting since the first meeting he didn’t do that at all and we both had fun. But can’t try to understand abusers really. Yeah i do want to report but police might just think well he’s already been jailed for the crime now.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 19:25

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2023 19:09

You know what? I’d report it. I just would. He’s dangerous and the more they have on him, the better.

thanks will do. like someone else said doesn’t hurt to have on file.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrxrsx · 06/04/2023 19:26

glitterisntgendered · 06/04/2023 19:14

Call 101 and ask them? I think it can't hurt to have it on file

yeah you’re right thanks

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