Child arrangements order

[Myfairytalecametrue]

Hi.
We rarely see my stepdaughter as her mum has withheld contact and tried (and has been successful) to sway her views on spending time here. That's a whole other thread and has been ongoing for a couple of years causing lots of upset.

My Husband arranged mediation, but his ex wouldn't agree to anything at all so it got absolutely nowhere. I'd like for us to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order, especially before she gets too much older and things become more ingrained. Husband is less keen because he doesn't want to 'force' contact. My question is, how much does this actually cost? I'm aware from a Google that the cost to actually make the application is a little over £200, but is there just endless additional costs? Would we need legal representation? As it stands, like a lot of people we have little to no disposable income. This would obviously need to be prioritised though if it was a reasonable amount.
Does anyone have experience of the process please?

How old is your SD?

I'd like for us to apply to the court for a Child Arrangements Order, especially before she gets too much older and things become more ingrained. Husband is less keen because he doesn't want to 'force' contact.

you should have as much away in this scenario as I do ie Sweet FA

Thanks for responding. She's currently 7. I do try to take more of a backseat at times, particularly as the topic always causes upset. I just think the longer it's left the more upset it will cause, and potentially mean they don't have a relationship when she's older.

Just support your DH in his decision

It isn't "us" applying for the child arrangements order it is your "husband".

If he doesn't want to then you can't force him.

Firstly going to Court is extremely stressful and if you are represented expensive.

Secondly it is only his not yours - yours and his - relationship with his daughter that matters. If you divorced him tomorrow you would not see your step-daughter again as she is too young to do anything active to see you.

Thirdly if he's not bothered about pursing a relationship with his daughter then step back and leave him to do most of her care when she comes to stay. This means leave him to cook, clean up and entertain her while you mostly go off and do your own thing. Tell him exactly why you are doing this.

The fact your DH doesn’t have the motivation to pursue contact with his very young daughter speaks volumes

This !! Step back and let you DH make the decisions.

and potentially mean they don't have a relationship when she's older

unless your dh has learning difficulties, he will be aware of this and yet nonetheless doesn’t wish to pursue contact

I would be very concerned about having a family on my own with such a man

It sounds like if you weren't with your h then contact would break down. Only do this if he's actually committed. Having contact when he's with you but letting things drift if you split would cause harm to his dd.

He does want contact, and has tried a softer approach for the last couple of years. He has spent countless hours going back and fourth with his ex trying to agree times that she can come. He always tries to appeal to her better nature and hope that she will soften in her approach and now encourage his child to see him. It's just getting less and less.
I appreciate you are all right and it's ultimately his decision whether to pursue the court order or not.

Baffling he didn’t go down the legal route then years ago

he doesn’t have the motivation to do so OP

and that should be concerning to you if you plan to have children with him

C100 form has to be filed at court (usually where child lives). CAFCASS will do report for court with recommendations. He can represent himself or get a Barrister on fixed fee. Prepare position statement with what outcome he is looking for.
Lots of websites have advice.