Neighbourhood dispute - now they are emailing my work address

[DuckDuckGooseDuck]

I just wanted to ask your opinion. We have an absolutely nightmarish neighbour who is forever complaining about the fact that we are doing work on the house. We are living there but I work FT out of the house. Dp works FT from home. We moved into this unrefurbished property end of last year and have been doing it up bit by bit.

This week we are having the floors sanded and oiled. It is quite noisy but they only start around 9 and don't do the sanding in long periods. Dp is actually still in the house and managing to work.

We have a party wall agreement with the neighbours, all done legally before any of the work started.

They write to us, on our personal email addresses, about once a week just moaning about everything. We have been round and spoken to them but they just get hysterical about everything and how we are 'ruining' their lives and we need to stop immediately which we can't do. Before us the house was empty for a year so I suspect they are used to complete peace and quiet. We are genuinely trying to do everything as quickly and quietly as we can - it's not in our interests to delay things. No structural work is happening, it's new bathrooms/decoration/refurbishment.

I am starting to think they are after money or compensation of some sort as their letters are beginning to repeat their claims and they are using legal terms in them. They are also claiming the noisy works are happening outside of the noisy works times which is not true (as dp is there).

This morning they have upped their ante by finding me on linkedin and emailing me at work rather than my personal address. I can block them, which I will do, but is there anything I can do to try and stop them bombarding me with emails? Particularly using my work address. I am tempted to send them a letter claiming harrassment (as it really feels like it) but also don't want to start a war. I would rather we just tried to ignore it and finished asap.

Don’t start a neighbour dispute - you will have to declare this if you sell

Don’t reply to the email to your work address, just ignore it

Work is very disruptive to neighbours so you need to just keep your cool and not lose your temper with them

I would just block and ignore. If you have tried to be considerate then there is little you can do.

Are you semi detached? What age are the neighbours?

We are terraced and neighbours on other side are fine.

These neighbours are a similar age to us - 50s I would say - and WFH. That's the issue.

Do you respond to their emails?

I don't but dp does (as he's there, it makes more sense)

Did you warn them in advance of the noisy works you were carrying out, or did you just spring it on them and expect them to suck it up?

You're minimising the problem too - just because DP can put up with the noise doesn't mean they can. Sometimes noise is worse when it travels because of the vibrations.

You might not be able to avoid doing the work altogether, but can you offer to do the noisy works at different times/on set days? If, for example, you agree to only do noisy works on Mondays, they could potentially plan to push their work calls onto Tuesdays. What flexibility can you carve out and offer to them (and stick to)?

Can you let them have a realistic timetable of how long the works are going to take to completion? The only thing worse than noise is not knowing when on earth the ordeal if going to end.

If the noise really is that awful (and it may well be), is there a nearby co-working space? I live in an expensive city and I can still rent a space for the day near me for £16, so £32 for two people. If you're planning to really go at it one day noise-wise, you could offer to pay for their day pass to get out. It's a more practical offer than a bottle of wine and keeps them on your side.

Given the fact you’ve been doing the works for months now I do have a bit of sympathy with them. Ongoing noise is really draining.

Do you have an end date? Do they know what it is? Maybe knowing it’s going to end (soon?) will help them.

I would block and ignore on your work email.

Sounds like they're desperate for a response from you, hence tracking down another address for you specifically. I wonder what tone he uses in his replies.

They have to listen to your building work whenever you schedule it, day in day out. You get one email a week that you can choose to read or ignore. Doesn't seem much of a hardship in return.

yes, we have an end date and yes, they have a schedule of works and when it will be noisy/when it won't be (not always exact but we do forewarn them). They just want it to stop which we can't do. The noisiest of works should be done in 2 weeks (fingers crossed!)

I'm on the responses so I know how dp is responding - it just makes sense e.g. if they ask when something is starting/stopping that he replies rather than me. There's no tone to his email!

Everyone has a right to the peaceful enjoyment of their own home.

I had to put up with a neighbour and his never-ending renovations some years ago and it drove me mad.

I think it would be neighbourly for you to be super-apologetic about the ongoing nuisance and to offer to pay for them to get an off-site working space until your works are finished. This would at least show that you are not trying to minimise the effect it's having on them and that you care about keeping good relations with them.

The noisiest of works should be done in 2 weeks (fingers crossed!)
So put yourself in their shoes: they’re going to read that as at least two more weeks of being subjected to very noisy work and then more noise to come after, and this is after months of disruption they’ve experienced already.

At the end of all this you get a lovely home. All they get is the upset.

I agree with @onepringle’s suggestions.

@DuckDuckGooseDuck just be polite and resolute. The work has to be done. No point prolonging it.
As for them wfh well that's tough.
My dh wfh for years before covid.
If dc were playing or neighbours mowing grass and yes renovations that's all part of life.
They can't expect their home to be like an office environment because it's not.

If you live in an attached property it is bonkers to expect no renovations ever. My neighbours renovated, it was noisy, it ended.

OP I would just try to be more placatory and carry on as you are. Email them from your personal emailing stating you're not allowed to respond to private emails from work and ask them to email both of your personal emails when they need to 'so you get a quick reply' and then your DH can continue to reply.

They sound very difficult, all you can do is manage it as best you can.

If the noisy stuff is over in two weeks hopefully it'll calm down.

Yes but renovations are unfortunately noisy . Unless you can get power tools invented that make no noise you will just have to put up with it until it’s done .
unless the op is having work done after 6pm and before 8am the neighbour will have to tolerate it , It can’t be stopped .
ive had work done on my house and neighbours complaining but It was tedious like van in front of drive while bricks were being unloaded . Noise during the day .
yes it’s annoying a house on my street has been worked on for 2 years on and off but it’s during the day so I have to just put up with it when noisy .
give the the times when it’s noisy just to be neighbourly but that’s it and they absolutely shouldn’t be contacting you at work .
block and just put the info through the letterbox on a note .

Why have your neighbours got your email address in the first place?

they have the personal one because we had to email documents for the party wall agreement.

my work one, they have deliberately looked me up online on linkedin (I can see they have looked at my profile) and then deliberately chosen to email me at work, rather than my personal one which I must admit, feels a bit intrusive

Our next door neighbours have been renovating slowly but constantly since we moved in 2.5 years ago. It is massively draining, particularly working from home so not ever able to get away from it. And when we ask how much more there is to do they're vague and frankly rude. I appreciate your work needs to be done but I do sympathise with your neighbours too

they guessed my work one from my workplace but it's not hard as it's DuckDuckGoose.Duck at workplace.com

I sympathise with both parties. We have just renovated what was a derelict property and its taken 2 yrs. MUCH longer than I expected. I WFH and the one thing that absolutely sent me bonkers were the workmen radios. With the various trades- one day- there were 5 radios dotted all around and inside the house. It didn't bother DH at all! I eventually said NO radios on site because it not only drove me mad- but I felt for the neighbours. Do you workmen have radios?

Has your DH asked the neighbours what THEIR suggestion is in terms of the noise? Obviously- they just want it to stop, but is it early deliveries, noise at the weekend or something specific? You are going to have to continue living next door- so I wouldn't retaliate nor reply on the work email.

When I had noise issues at another property, the council advised me to keep a noise diary. Date, time, type of noise, how long etc. I'd be tempted to keep your own noise diary, so that IF there is any dispute- you have something to say Bob the builder arrived at 8:30 that day and didn't start drilling till 9am etc. It obviously doesn't prove it, but is also a handy record for your to refute their claims.

For those saying to only get the trades on certain days- this just isn't and option. Many trades would prefer to to the work in a block. Many of ours left tools or things in the house and packing up- finding another job for a day or 2 just wouldn't be an option. They might also overrun on the other job- and then only be able to return on a day not agreed with neighbour.

I've always kept the neighbours as informed as I could. X will be delivered on tue, this week they are removing the render so its noisy etc. We only just got in the house at Christmas so I took a hamper around the each with wine/biscuits/cheese etc.

I hope you its gets completed soon.

I tend to think this. You’ve kept them informed, you’re communicating with them, you’ve done your best to minimise noise and explained to them what you’ve done.

Sometimes work needs to be done and hounding a neighbour that’s doing their best is not going to achieve anything. I certainly wouldn’t be offering to pay for a work space for them, that’s a ridiculous suggestion.

Continue to communicate and apologise for the noise in an open and friendly manner even if you have to do it through gritted teeth. With regard to them contacting your work email, that’s completely out of order if they already have a line of communication with you both and you aren’t ignoring them. Block and refuse to communicate via that channel.

Eventually most people need to have work done on the house. The amount needed and the noise created will differ but as sure as eggs are eggs some work will be done. As long as it's not unsociable hours I don't see what people can do. You have kept them informed and, quite frankly, if it's anything like what I am dealing with, you really are at the mercy of when trades can do the work. My latest will be in and out for about 3 weeks and I can't do anything but accept that. Getting anyone to do the work was a minor miracle!

I agree with @loislovesstewie at some point everyone does work, if you live in an attached property not much they can do if you’ve given fair warning and communicated.

I would reply :

Dear neighbour
Please do not use this email address and continue to use the private one you already have: xxxc
Emailing me at work is not necessary and intrudes on my professional life which is completely separate from my private life.
your neightbour
Duck

If you're tech savvy there are a few programs out there that can bounce emails. You used to be able to do it as standard in Mac Mail but doesn't seem to be a feature anymore.
Anyway, I'd start to bounce them back to sender as if the accounts don't exist.