Child protection conference

[Biscuits1011]

Anyone here who can help and answer some questions please?

I have no one to take with me though. No one that I would feel comfortable listening to it all.

She hasn’t denied it. But she’s said that the purpose of her visit tomorrow is to gather the info needed for the report!

There is no reason you can't ask her to give you a phone call to go through things before the children are there. I often do a day time visit during school hours, or a phone call during school hours, if I need to have a complicated or challenging conversation with a parent.
Please don't listen to the posters suggesting SWs are going to be conspiring against you. Genuinely, I've been a SW for years and done a zillion ICPCs. Sometimes reports have been late, sometimes they've been written at 3am whilst I was falling asleep in between sentences, occasionally they're done in good time. None of those scenarios was with any malicious intent, just lots of work pressure.
Work with the SW not against her, she's likely got some helpful knowledge and skills. Take whatever support you can get to help you be the best parent you possibly can be. You might get the opportunity to do parenting work or domestic abuse work.. do it, you might learn something and you don't lose anything by giving it a try. Let the kids like the SW if you can, and as much as she might drive you mad, don't bitch about her in front of the kids. It will just make her job 500x harder.

Posted too soon...making her job 500x harder will mean the kids stay on a plan longer and SW is involved longer

Thank you, unfortunately the kids dad does a pretty good job of making them dislike the social workers.. definitely not on my part, I actually think the one we’ve got is very nice! Actually all of them I’ve spoken to have been nothing but nice! I’ve been on domestic abuse courses before and done some parenting work with a family practitioner. The domestic abuse course was great; the parenting work not so much but that’s another thing.
I guess what I’m struggling with is i do feel like all the attention is on me, when I didn’t do anything in the first place! The reports were nothing to do with me. They haven’t even been to see their dad either, only me. I don’t understand it.

So from what you're saying it sounds like there is some back story which could explain why they're going to ICPC.
Just work with them, take their points on board, and do what's being asked.
Tell the truth all the time, I always say to parents, I can try my best to help you with the truth, whatever has happened I'm sure I've seen it before. When you start lying to me, it makes me think you're dishonest and not trustworthy and I start to doubt other things you tell me.

They're not scoring you directly they're scoring the current situation - if you google you may be able to find a copy of the scoring criteria. As a professional some LA will send us a scoring guidance doc as well as a blank report for us to fill out with things like what is going well, what I'm concerned about, what support is in place etc.

If it is the first one presumably it would be an ICPC and they would explain the concerns that have led to the CP plan, scores would be at the end and then a review to decide whether CP plan is still needed, actions etc.

No back story on my part, he was emotionally abusive to me during our relationship but we haven’t been together for years. I left him. I’ve never had any involvement from ss until recently when they started having concerns about my ex. There’s no lies to tell, because I can’t think of anything I’ve done wrong, except try to co parent with my ex. There’s nothing for me to lie about!

i saw the family practitioner a while back due to my son being diagnosed with adhd. So it was all about that, nothing to do with this.

If you're worried about not understanding the sw because of her accent via teams or zoom, I'm pretty sure they have closed caption (subtitles) nowadays so ask the sw to put it on, may not be perfect but might help?
Hope it all goes well op.

Thank you, it’s not just that. We recently did a meeting via zoom, totally different thing to do with my sons adhd, but lots of professionals do same sort of thing and I kept losing signal.. so did the others… it was just so hard to communicate

So I haven’t received the reports yet 😩. Sw said be patient and will get when ready! And they won’t do it face to face either which I’m not happy about

Hi op how did it go yesterday? Did it go ahead and did you feel you had enough explanation of what was happening?

Hi, it didn’t go ahead. Everything was dropped! I was shocked but yep they decided it wasn’t needed in the end.