Family court

[McM89]

My ex is threatening to take me to court for 50 50 custody. I've been offering to meet him at a soft play with the baby for them to go in for how ever long he wants while I wait outside, but it's all about me getting back with him and I have made it clear I dont want to so now he's started with the court threats. I had him charged with fear and alarm 3 weeks ago also had him charged with assualt 3 years ago he was at court loke 3 weeks before a got him charged jist there for something else too no idea what though. Will the courts give him 50/50? His house isn't a good environment for a baby so that's just not a option.

Yes, it is possible.

How old is the baby? If very young, then contact will build up over time, and might or might not reach 50/50.

The courts approach generally starts with the right of the child to have a relationship with both parents.

I note you say 'charged' rather than saying he has convictions. Does that mean he was acquitted?

They all say this shit

Don't believe him

Gather your evidence

Go back to police if it feels like harassment

Poor you I'm sorry you are dealing with this

Please get PROPER legal advice too xxxxxx

Yeah he has conditions for domestic abuse and other stuff

Convictions

I got a letter from his lawyer I then got a lawyer amd she sent one back to his lawyer saying no contact, but then ave decided to just meet him outside with the baby to avoid court

Just take a step back from any sort of contact op. You are entitled to good mental health. Your dc is entitled to a healthy dm more than an abusive df. Tell him you will let a judge deem him safe to be around your dc.

Bet you don't get contacted to appear on court op.
Keep all texts etc.
Start a file incase you need to expose him to a judge.

No idea what to do now, he doesn't work been on benefits his whole life does nothing other than weed and playstation. Lives with his mother in a house where drugs are being sold which they have been caught with too

@McM89
Why not go to court? He’s highly unlikely to get 50/50. Most men don’t really want it anyway. You can get drugs tests done. You can list evidence of convictions. See a decent family solicitor and don’t offer anything right now. The usual arrangement is 5/14 days but you might find supervised contact is what is ordered. So far less. The needs of the child are taken into account above the needs of the dad. So ensure you understand the process and be guided by professionals.

Do not settle for less than supervised and stick by it

Get a good solicitor

Be very careful with a man like that

5 in 14?

I don't think that's usual! That's alternate weekends and where does the 5th day go?

From the other threads I've seen recently yes the courts will absolutely support a 50/50 split if he pursues it even if he is a domestic abuser with several convictions for it to his name. They aren't interested in the type of man he is when it comes to his behaviour towards you - they prioritise a man's "right" to 50/50 over anything else it would seem x

@FishWithoutAName DD is a family barrister. It is usual. 5 th day might be in the week. Up to the parents. Can be a Sunday night. DD says this is the most usual agreement when parent(s) work. 50/50 is unusual due to taking Dc to school if a parent is further away. It allows for much greater stability. Not every separated couple live near the schools or have time for school run.

This really isn't the case. Posts like this are likely to cause great fear and do not reflect reality.

OP he has to set up and pay for mediation before court which you can decline to attend in person due to the DV. If he does manage to get to court he will probably be awarded supervised contact at first. If he engaged with this then his contact may increase. He won't be given overnight contact from the off.

@MaireadMcSweeney I didn’t intend to imply this case would be 5/14 but mn is always saying 50:50. It’s just not like that so I understand.

I wonder if it's regional? When my ex went through family court I was told that despite his DV and abuse of the DC he'd likely get 50:50.

He told me he wouldn't seek 50:50 if I asked for no maintenance but then changed his mind once he saw how important DC were that way. In reality he wouldn't have wanted the work so just as well he didn't get 50:50 in the end. But it certainly wasn't because there was a belief in 5/14, I'd have relaxed a whole lot more had that been the case. Oh wait, I'm thinking about the whole month! So actually 5/14 is a long weekend and two midweeks. That makes more sense!

@FishWithoutAName
Depends who represents you! Depends on circumstances. Depends on needs of DC. Definitely depends on where parents live and work commitments. Overall it’s what is best for DC, especially with regards to school, friends and stability. It’s not about pass the parcel and what parents think are their “rights”.

There's also been drug busts at his property as they sell drugs and and a neigbour has bashed their door in recently too ,I also have video footage of him getting dragged out his house off about 10 police, how would that go in court? Also messages off him telling me to not ask him to see the child aswell as manipulation telling me if a don't get back with him he's taking me to court to get the child

The messages to you about the children would be worth showing as it's to do with the children but the police and drug side of things - if he's not currently using or dealing and the police haven't taken any action (or, he's not about to go to court or prison) then it might not have any bearing on child access granted.

My ex was found to have abused me but was considered not at risk to children as it was adult to adult abuse. He also abused the DC but that was considered borderline and so classed as very poor parenting. Apparently poor parenting doesn't automatically preclude access.

I think your messages about not asking him to see the children and then blackmailing you with taking children off you in court will make more of a difference then his illegal lifestyle, like I said, unless he goes down for it.