Will when you are blended

[ninjafoodienovice]

DH and I are married and have DSS (dh's son 19) and DS9

I've been nagging at DH to sort out a will for years - we don't have anything. He's always saying it's fine as we are married but I know we need to sort something out but have no idea how it works with step children.
We own a house and have life insurance but would absolutely not want DSS to be responsible for DS nor allow for DSS's mother to be a position to get money from DSS.
I also want to make sure DSS doesn't lose out as he will need to be supported through uni.

Any suggestions very welcome 🙏🏻

Jeez. I can't believe the number of people without a will. You most definitely need one. Firstly even though married, the laws if intestacy won't mean it all passes to you. Secondly he has a responsibility to his son and therefore he needs to make provision for him, even life insurance.

Last,y, dying intestate brings a whole load of complications. Read this www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/death-and-wills/who-can-inherit-if-there-is-no-will-the-rules-of-intestacy/

It's incredibly important to sort this out. Here's my story so you can show DH what will happen to his kids if he doesn't.

Me, 3 brothers and a step brother
Mum died
Dad remarried
Dad died (I was late 20s, my 3 brothers ranged from 12-28)
Step mum inherited everything, the house, contents of bank account.....
Step mum has remarried.

Me and my 3 brothers will never see any of mum and dads assets.

If he doesn't sort his will then he is relying completely on you voluntarily sharing any inheritance with his kids.

Go to a solicitor

Thank you for the information - I didn't know about the intestate rules.

What would be a fair way to divide the estate if we were both to die at the same time?
Should it just divided between the two children or my share to my DS and DH share between the two DC ?

I'm definitely booking to see a solicitor, DH would stick his head in the sand if I let him
Thanks for the push

Only you can decide what to do. For me, it would depend on how you view your stepson.

As this is a blended family, you should consider owning the house as tenants in common and leaving a life interest in your half of the house to your husband with it passing to your child/the children when he dies. That way you can avoid any possibility of your child being disinherited if you die first.

Why would DSS's mother get it if your SS is now an adult? Definitely go and see a solicitor. We made things fairly simple in that both our wills provide for 4 children equally (2 youngest are ours together). We have also set up trusts to prevent the inheritance going out sideways.

We would both be worried about DSS mum being very manipulative with DSS but as he's an adult it's tricky.

I need to think about what is fair to DSS and to DS. DSS would inherit from his DMs parents as he's the only grandchild as well as DH so I wonder whether DH splitting his estate and me directing mine just to DS but I've brought up DSS since he was a young child and he's lived with us for most of it.
I would need to think carefully about the message it would send to him.

If you died together without a will, and it was not possible to determine who died first, then the law will treat it as the youngest dying first. So if you’re the youngest, all your money would go to DH up to a certain amount and the rest to your DC.
I’m married - got wed when DD was 7. We have another DD together. We are now in our late 50s/60s. Our wills leave everything to each other, but once the first person has died the estate will be split equally between both children.

It’s the youngest who dies last…….

OP, I run a willwriting company and this is a very common situation.

As PPs have mentioned, it would make sense to make Life Interest in Possession Trusts in your wills. These earmark your respective shares in your home for your child/ren, whilst allowing the survivor of you to carry on living in the house. They can move, and the trust ports on to the new property, or they can rent it out and receive all of the net rental income.

So for example, your will could put your share of the house into the trust. Your DH can carry on living there till he dies or remarries. When one of those events happen, the trust comes to an end. Your share goes just to your child. When your DH dies, his share is split, either equally or unequally, between his two children.

I'd normally advise that the rest of the estate passes to each other with no strings. Obviously there are several options, and I always take time to understand the clients' circumstances and priorities.

You do need to ensure that, if you have a mortgage, you have enough insurance in place to clear it.