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Original poster

Child travelling overseas

40 replies

zippitydoda · 05/03/2023 22:07

My OH has left me. I never took his name when we married. Our son has his name. Will I have problems when travelling abroad?

He won't sign an authorisation letter because he seems determined to hurt us.

OP posts:
DelilahBucket · 05/03/2023 22:09

You will have to get a court order if he won't sign an authorisation letter. I've never been asked for mine but I have been questioned on more than one occasion about my relationship to DS. I also travel with his birth certificate.

Original poster
zippitydoda · 05/03/2023 22:19

When they question you can you travel with birth certificate or are they likely to stop you?

It's for a holiday, not anywhere we have connections with, not sure if it makes a difference, but couldn't be seen as absconding or kidnap. Son is secondary school age so could be questioned.

OP posts:
DelilahBucket · 06/03/2023 20:48

You need an authorisation letter. Do you want to get as far as passport control in a foreign country to be told you can't enter?

Fireyflies · 06/03/2023 20:51

I don't have the same surname as my kids and have travelled extensively and never had any problems. On one occasion (US) they asked the kids who I was. They said, "our mum" and that was it. So I wouldn't worry personally. My ex never had PR but I had no way of proving that.

tribpot · 06/03/2023 21:00

it's true that technically you need the permission letter. I always carry one. I have never been asked for it. I am asked (when returning, never on the way out) regularly about my relationship to ds and the birth certificate always suffices

CatOnTheChair · 06/03/2023 21:07

Even if you had the same name, it doesn't stop the questions.
I have been questioned several times (we lived abroad, I flew quite often with the kids but not DH) and I share a surname with the kids.

Original poster
zippitydoda · 06/03/2023 21:08

As OH is being awkward would it be easy enough to get a court order allowing it?

It's in the children's best interest to go as been planned for years and moved several times because of covid. Would only cause distress for them not to go.

OP posts:
TheBigWangTheory · 06/03/2023 21:09

DelilahBucket · 06/03/2023 20:48

You need an authorisation letter. Do you want to get as far as passport control in a foreign country to be told you can't enter?

The only place I've ever seen this is on MN, not in RL. I have a different name to my DC and have travelled very extensively with them, never once been asked for any kind of letter from anyone, ever. Neither have my sisters or friends in the same position. Neither has anyone I've ever heard of.

tribpot · 06/03/2023 21:13

It is a real thing, not just MN folklore. But I agree that I know no-one who's ever been asked for the letter rather than the birth certificate.

copperplated · 06/03/2023 21:14

I've been asked, actually the children have also been asked multiple times at different airports.

tribpot · 06/03/2023 21:19

Have you been asked for the permission letter @copperplated ? No-one is disputing that we can be questioned about travelling with a child, it's happened to me many times. In fact for ds' 18th birthday what I want to do is travel out of the country and back in just to be able to sail past not being questioned.

DelilahBucket · 06/03/2023 21:23

Some countries are more strict than others. I wouldn't take the risk.

TheBigWangTheory · 06/03/2023 21:27

copperplated · 06/03/2023 21:14

I've been asked, actually the children have also been asked multiple times at different airports.

Your children have been asked for a letter from a parent? Seems unlikely

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 06/03/2023 21:33

I've only been asked coming into the UK because we had different names and different nationalities. Birth certificate was enough.

JlL2013 · 06/03/2023 21:41

I got stopped last week coming back to the uk. I had a permission letter but they said that the birth certificate would have been better. Was not asked on the way through though.

prh47bridge · 07/03/2023 08:20

No-one can say for sure if you will have problems travelling abroad. The law is that, assuming he has parental responsibility, you need either his consent or an appropriate court order (either a Specific Issue Order allowing the holiday or a Child Arrangements Order naming you as someone with whom your son is to live). If you travel without that, you are committing a criminal offence. Of course, many people do take their children out of the country without either consent or a court order. In most cases they do not encounter any problems at all. However, some people find they are refused boarding or refused entry at their destination.

If your ex refuses to consent to a genuine holiday, you will have no trouble getting a court order.

copperplated · 07/03/2023 12:32

@TheBigWangTheory
I've been asked multiple times for documentation and the children have been asked to verbally confirm who I was and my relationship to them.
If you travel frequently, with little ones, and don't have the same last name, it's quite common to get asked questions.

GoldDuster · 07/03/2023 12:37

I have a different surname to DC and have only been asked about it a couple of times, but have had copies of birth certificates and that has been fine.

To be honest, anyone could fake a signed permission letter, surely having seen their birth certificate and not finding that sufficient, I'm not sure whipping out a letter would work either?

Lastnamedidntstick · 07/03/2023 12:38

zippitydoda · 06/03/2023 21:08

As OH is being awkward would it be easy enough to get a court order allowing it?

It's in the children's best interest to go as been planned for years and moved several times because of covid. Would only cause distress for them not to go.

I think it’s the other way round. You can leave the country for up to 28 days without “permission” to allow for holidays etc.

he will need a court order to stop you.

I have a different name and have never had an issue travelling alone with my kids, which I do a lot.

notalawyer though so might be worth getting the current correct legal advice.

tribpot · 07/03/2023 12:49

What you're describing @Lastnamedidntstick are the rules which apply to people who have a Child Arrangements Order per the gov.uk page. I don't think the OP has a CAO. I can't get a CAO (without going to the extreme of divorcing DH purely for this purpose) so I always need his permission. @prh47bridge is completely right about the legal position, however reality is somewhat different in our experience.

emituofo · 07/03/2023 12:55

I dont have the same surname as my kids, they are have different nationalities, but I have never been questioned or askd any proof at the border.

PeekAtYou · 07/03/2023 12:57

You can get a court order saying that you are allowed to take the kids on holiday for up to 28 days without his direct permission each time.

Original poster
zippitydoda · 07/03/2023 14:31

@PeekAtYou where would you start for this?

Is there a charge?

Thank you

OP posts:
tribpot · 07/03/2023 15:15

It's as @prh47bridge explains above - you need to apply for Specific Issue Order or a Child Arrangements Order. From gov.uk it looks as if you would start with a mediation meeting to try to resolve without the courts. Based on a friend's experience, you have to either have the mediation meeting or get the mediator to confirm one party refused to attend.

sofasofa42 · 07/03/2023 16:31

I have never needed it. I take a birth certificate and never had a problem. This is in uk passport. My friend got a court saying both parties had to agree to each trip abroad- she hasn't authorised one and he had no problem taking the child. Police were called- they said nothing to be done the child was with her father. I wouldn't worry.