Inheritance, tricky one

[Runningoutofusernamestochange]

Not sure if this should go in chat, legal or carers.

I have power of attorney for my husband who has a significant brain injury. One of his parents has recently passed away, (the other is still alive, but frail and elderly, taking a lot of support from her well children. I know there is a will his siblings have had sight of, but I have not. The relationship between the siblings and I is frosty, for a number of reasons.

How would you raise this issue with the siblings? Anyone know if there is a way I can insist on seeing the will this side of probate being granted?

Death is recent and quite raw. All parties are stressed.

Do you know who the executor of the will is?

i imagine you retained a solicitor to get POS for your husband, so I would get them to write a letter representing your husband’s interests (instructed by you) to enquire the details of the will. I don’t know when is the appropriate time to do so, but that’s what I would tee up at this point.

We do have a solicitor I can call on, but no, I don’t know who the executor is.

I also feel as if it’s something reasonable people should be able to do without incurring legal fees…
Some of the siblings are pissed off not to be on the POA, some are still very much in denial about the extend of my dh’s disabilities, all are grieving…

While a significant inheritance would bring a number of positives to our lives there are also implications for the benefits dh receives and his care package funding.

I would wait until the funeral has happened, then give it a week or so and ask the question. It may well be that everything has passed to the surviving spouse, my parents wills were set up like that and it seems quite common practice to do it that way. The children inherit when the other one goes. It would be helpful to find out who the executor(s) is though.

You are your husband's advocate, so while it might feel uncomfortable you have every right to ask. You should really have been shown it when the siblings were.

Your DH's share could be put into a discretionary trust to minimise any impact on his benefits but it would need more than one trustee and if you have a difficult relationship with his siblings I wouldn't recommend they be a trustee. I would try and go for an independent one along with you. Perhaps your solicitor?
It would need a Deed of variation in any event that has to be agreed by all parties. You have 2 years to do this.
As far as finding out about the contents of the will, if there is a solicitor appointed to act as executor or to act for the executors and your DH is a beneficiary, they should contact you (as POA) before probate is applied for. If you think his siblings will try and somehow deprive your DH of benefitting then you (or your solicitor) need to just bite the bullet and ask them.
If your husband is a beneficiary then they cannot withhold the contents of the will from you although they can be a awkward as they like and you may need to take legal action to enforce the issue.

Thank you! I will hold off until after the funeral and it’s good to know I can insist, though hopefully I won’t have to go down a legal route to do so. I know my asking will cause upset on a number of fronts, but needs must!

Did the parent provide in some way for your DH while the parent was alive?

If not, providing the parent was in sound mind when they made the will, seeing it sooner or later is not going to change whatever is in it.

Or are you worried that the executors will not administer the estate correctly?

I understand your desire to know, but actually if it is only at the funeral stage then there is no reason to push things right now.

How about a short communication, after the funeral, along the lines of ‘Did PIL make any provision for DH in his will? I have some decisions to make shortly around DH’s care and it would be helpful to know’

“How about a short communication, after the funeral, along the lines of ‘Did PIL make any provision for DH in his will? I have some decisions to make shortly around DH’s care and it would be helpful to know’”

this seems very reasonable

Lol! Nice idea but that would be a red rag to a bull! Making Decisions! They would want input! I practice saying,
”When you share the bed he occasionally shits in you can have a vote!” In front of a mirror, because it will one day be needed.

I don’t think the executors would seek to harm dh’s interests intentionally and maliciously, but I think they will struggle with having to deal with me/accept dh can’t be expected to function as a competent adult.

It is likely that the frail surviving parent inherited everything from their spouse unless there were specific bequests in it. Does a family member have PoA over the surviving parent's affairs?

Since you are acting on behalf of your DH and it is his parent who died, I can't see any reason why you couldn't ask for a copy of the will or details of the executor or solicitor dealing with it. You need to make sure that yours and your DH's paperwork is all in order just in case anything happens to you, and your DH survives you. If you explain that to the family, it would make logical sense and a legitimate reason for needing the information, and that you are not acting out of avarice.

I'd wait until after the funeral though.

Once probate has been granted the will becomes public so anyone can apply for a copy. I think it is possible to place a marker so that you are notified when that happens. I am also wondering why there is an urgency to you getting this information as it will not hurry anything up and might cause upset asking about inheritance so soon.

I agree that the surviving spouse will be the main beneficiary, but I also think it possible there could be a share of the house with an arrangement that the surviving parent remain in it as long as they wish. There may also be lower value financial gifts from savings/investments.

I know which sibling will have POA for the surviving parent, but they do not lack capacity at this time, though they are frail.

We are applying to social services to increase care provision and to make some modifications to our bathroom, the grant for which is means tested. I don’t want to be accused of fraud if we turn out to be wealthier than I currently think we are. (The grants for these things are means tested.)

Inheritance is a legal matter and the ILS need to comply - but you should allow a reasonable time for the shock of the death to pass. You should ask ILS as you DH's representative for a copy of the Will, who the executor/s is/are and which solicitor will handle the estate. Probate can take a long time - the sooner the estate is settled the better.

A lot of this is about respect for the little woman who is running around being the carer, keeping house, raising the children and being the main earner. And men of a certain age who think they are feminists but are not actually prepared to examine their behaviour and attitudes. It’s a feminist issue.

@Runningoutofusernamestochange unless you are an executor, you do not have a legal right to see a will until probate has been granted and it becomes a public document.

The wait for probate can be long but even if you can see the will now it will not change what your DH is entitled to. They cannot do a Deed of Variation as your DH is not able to consent, and as he is in receipt of benefits that maybe affected by any inheritance he receives, so nothing can be done to alter his inheritance.

Definitely do not ask any questions until a little while after the funeral, it’s just not appropriate in the immediate period following a bereavement.

I know just how frustrating this will be to hear and how much patience you will need, as probate can take a long time 12-24 months.

What is entirely reasonable to do is a couple of weeks after the funeral, write/email and ask the name and address of the executor. State this is because you need to make the executor aware that DH has benefits/funding which could be impacted by any inheritance he may receive.

WRT the bathroom it’s not fraud if legally you have no right to know about the inheritance. All you can do is answer any questions based on what you officially know at the time. If your DH does inherit anything then at that stage let the appropriate people know.

@Runningoutofusernamestochange you may find it useful to move this thread to legal.

I’ve requested it be moved, thank you!