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Legal matters

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Domestic abuse and child contact.

20 replies

Bebefinn · 19/02/2023 18:44

Just wondering if anyone has been through similar and can provide any guidance. I've recently had to discharge my solicitor as i couldn't afford it anymore and now litigant in person.

What contact can I expect a father whom abused mother and his child to get? Findings and significant evidence of child abuse were made, the incident in question could've been fatal. Cafcass have found that they believe this not to be the only incident of about.

Father has had nearly 3 years of fortnightly supervised contact in contact centre.

Psychologists report says he poses a significant risk to both mother and child and indirect contact should be considered as the way forward. His conduct throughout proceedings has been appalling. Judges have had to shout at him to calm down. Psychologist and Cafcass note he has not taken any responsibility and maintains he's the victim. He refuses to do any kind of meaningful therapy intervention or domestic violence perpetrators programme.

Just waiting for Cafcass guardians opinions as I feel she makes excuses for him.. It's really hard to know what she's thinking. I found her very manipulative.

Can I expect him to ever get unsupervised or is it too unsafe?

Feeling so anxious and wrought with worry.

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Bebefinn · 20/02/2023 10:30

bumping

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Redruby2020 · 20/02/2023 10:34

I don't have experience of things at the same level, however under the circumstances i can not see him being allowed unsupervised contact, not only because of the way things are, but also because of any lack of improvement or effort that clearly hasn't been made from his side.

Bebefinn · 20/02/2023 13:47

Thank you

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DancingWithYourDog · 20/02/2023 20:12

Similar situation, we got indirect only but actually he doesn’t bother. Congrats on being free of him 💐

Bebefinn · 20/02/2023 20:24

Thank you @DancingWithYourDog i sent you a private message x

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stillcantthinkofaname · 20/02/2023 21:16

Just want to say it sounds like you e been through a total nightmare and I’m sorry it’s ongoing. It’s so wrong you should be left worrying about this. Sending a virtual hug and good luck

Bebefinn · 20/02/2023 21:35

Thank you. If anyone can share any insight or experiences I would be very grateful. I know every case is different but I'm losing hope. My only hope is that the Cafcass guardian will agree with the expert recommendation.

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Senmum2013 · 20/02/2023 21:51

Hi my ex is only allowed indirect contact, rarely bothers though. So much so when he sent a birthday present (which was totally age inappropriate) my son looked really confused, he then said I thought dad was dead (last indirect contact had been around 6 months).
my ex was also issued with a S91(14) to prevent him from keep bringing me back to court.
I feel so sad for my son that he doesn’t have a dad, it’s also so exhausting doing everything but at least we’re alive and he can’t hurt us anymore.
you sound like you’ve got a good chance of getting indirect in view of risk. Good luck with it xxx

stillcantthinkofaname · 20/02/2023 21:58

Totally different circumstances but I’ve had CAFCASS make recommendations to the court twice and both times the judges have completely ignored the advice. They do what they want, everyone seems to tell you judges will always follow recommendations but that’s bollocks in my experience . looks like you have a decent paper trail to back you up but there’s no way around it, court is stressful.

It’s so wrong that you are in this situation and it’s bound to make you feel anxious, I guess part of your work is to manage that with good self care but it’s a horrible ride. sorry I can’t say anything more helpful, keep reaching out. When do you find out what the guardian recommends?

Bebefinn · 21/02/2023 09:22

I feel backed into a corner tbh. He's had supervised for such a long time. It mostly goes well but the psychologist has identified that he tries to alienate her from me during contact in his conversations with her. The Cafcass guardian observed a session and i know the session went well..
I don't know.

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Bebefinn · 21/02/2023 19:08

Bumping for more responses

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Bebefinn · 23/02/2023 09:42

The guardian was supposed to speak with me this week but has just cancelled.

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Whiskeypowers · 16/03/2023 20:21

How are things @Bebefinn

Bebefinn · 06/12/2023 19:00

Still in proceedings sadly.. we have a directions hearing coming up with a final hearing to follow.

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adriftabroad · 06/12/2023 19:20

Oh I do feel for you.

My STBXH wants 50/50 with a 15 yo DD and has been arrested for domestic violence.

(Its to avoid paying, hasnt seen her for years)

He has now asked judge we all see a psychiatrist to delay.

I am despairing. I am sure you are.

Any consolation: lawyer says not a chance.

Bebefinn · 06/12/2023 19:27

What contact is he having currently?

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adriftabroad · 06/12/2023 19:41

Absolutely none.

He is going for parental alienation. Luckily DD will speak loud and clear. Unluckily she is mid exams and really doesn[t need this.

How old is DC?

Bebefinn · 06/12/2023 20:08

Your daughter is old enough for her wishes to be listened to thankfully. It is stressful though isn't it.

Do you know what your psychiatrist report will say?

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adriftabroad · 06/12/2023 20:26

No, as the judge has not agreed to it yet.

Delay delay delay. 2 years on. Not worried about that though. Just everything else!

Incredibly stressful. If one more person tells me I have to be strong... 😅🙄

Bebefinn · 07/12/2023 08:30

Oh see. We're waiting for the actual report, we have done all of the assessments. It is incredibly stressful waiting!

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