Should I contact social services?

[Happyvalleymum]

I split up from my daughter's father over Christmas, due to a drink fueled rage at me, where he called me every name under the sun in front of our 4 year old daughter.

He has finally left the house, and i'm now waiting for the dreaded text from him asking to see our daughter.....however, I have decided, enough is enough and I do not think he is safe to look after her alone now he has moved out.
He is an extremely heavy drinker (for instance, he drank a whole bottle of 40% spirit on one day over christmas, along with with beers. I told him, I was suprized he wasn't dead) and smokes weed from time to time (I was not aware he smoked weed, as he didn't when I met him and only started doing this after our daughter was born, 3 years later. Anyway, there was also another incident over Christmas, where his brother attempted to give our daughter (who is 4!) a mug of wine to try to 'send her to sleep'. I took the wine away from her just in the nick of time. The main reason I don't want anything to do with him or his brother is because I think this is actually within the realms of child abuse,, plus illegal, doing something like that to a 4 year old....then, when I say no as the mother , I am either not listened to or he (ex) gets angry with me.
I am majorly worried about her being alone with him ever now because of this, esp if the brother happens to be there. I am going to tell him he isn't allowed any unsupervised visits from now on, whilst I am in the process of sorting things out with a solicitor for child arrangement orders etc. I think CAFCASS get involved later on too?
In the meantime, should I contact social services? to report this wine incident and my fear of my daughter ever being alone with him again? This incident happened in another country, one where they don't seem to view giving children alcohol as being an issue, or maybe it's just that family, as they seem to be a bunch of abusive men.
I'm also scared of any further abuse or repercussions i'll get, if social services contact him and his brother. But, I need to do what is best for my daughter's safety. Help!!

A missive thing here is evidence, you need substantial evidence. Until then it’s his word against yours. You can make an anonymous phone call to social services and they have to investigate it but you may well get “that didn’t happen”, Cafcass do get involved if it goes to court over child arrangements, they basically speak to both parents like a little interview thing then write like a letter of recommendation to the courts and the courts do rely on this information

if you think your daughter is in danger then ring them, your children are so young, and if their is backlash, then there is backlash but you are doing nothing wrong by prioritising your child’s safety

in the mean time if it does go to court you will want to document as much as you can, text messages emails etc

You can also just ring social services and ask some advice?, also has he got previous for anything like drink driving etc?

Social care will need proof. However, if you make the call and give him no contact, then the courts will at least see you believed this. If you let him see her now, they will never believe he is abusive, because you wouldn’t let your DD go to an abusive dad.

Stick to your plan and get a family solicitor. You will need one and they will be able to advise you better as to what your next steps will be.

Do you think he will actually spend the money to go to court to see her?

If I were you I would send one message 'no, you're an alcoholic and I don't believe she is safe with you' and then block everywhere.

He can then proceed if he wishes. And you call the police if he comes round shouting the odds.

This post was from February