Visitation - mid week cancellations

[Bubbletrubble]

Hello

Just after some advice please?

We have a CAO for every other weekend, and 9am Tues overnight till 5pm Weds every other week.

I have to work set days per week, so mon to Weds one week and tues to thursday the following week. Baby is in childcare week one, then due to cao baby is with dad, then my mum the following week.

I chose the tues to thursday pattern after the CAO was put in place.

However, Dad is cancelling the mid week days all the time. I have had to take leave to cover as it's short notice e.g. I get told at 7am he isnt coming. I can't schedule childcare (at babys usual nursery place that they do in week one) at short notice, they won't take him at short notice and ad hoc. I've looked at changing to a childminder but they also said they can't accommodate extra days at short notice.

If family members aren't able to step in, i either use annual leave, take unpaid leave, or have hired a babysitter for day which cost more than I earned that day.

I've contacted him to say he needs to sort childcare or pay for it etc, but I just get radio silence after the initial 'I'm not coming' text and I don't hear from him until the weekend visit.

I'm at my wits end. He took me to court and got the days he wanted which was great, but the weekday cancellations are having a huge impact. The weekend cancellations I dont mind as I dont have to think about work or childcare cover.

Anybody?

what happens if you send him the bill for the childcare for the days you have had to pay extra?

I've not sent a physical bill, but have text to say I've had to pay x amount childcare or I've lost a days wage etc and I just dont get any response. He just turns up at the next pick up says hello and takes child, I've raised it once in person (but mindful that I dont want to upset our child) and he just shrugs his shoulders and walks away.

I'm just so tired, I know the courts will just say they cant force visitation, but surely they could stop visitation on working days? Although they just want to promote contact sonot sure they would even do that.

Sounds like you need to go back to court or seek legal advice to change the CAO.

Can the CAO change though? It was only done within last 12 months. I'm scared it will look like I'm reducing contact when the courts want dads to have contact. It is me he is inconveniencing not our child (although I'd argue that not turning up is not in their best interest). It would be easier to do a few late afternoons e.g. 4 till 7 like teatime visits, so we can have a regular childcare pattern and if he doesnt turn up in the evening then it's not the end of the world as I'd be around anyway.

Just feel I cant make plans or I'm at his back and call and I've not escaped from him either.

The court are interested in maintaining a relationship between child and parent, it doesn't have to be during the working day if he isn't sticking to it. In my experience as long as you offer an alternative then the court are fine. I appreciate that thot everyone's experience.
Take proof that he has been messing you about, suggest your alternative arrangement so that he still has access and ask for a variation to your order.

Thank you, yes I definitely dont want to cut contact. The constant cancelling breaks my heart for our little one, it should be 2 days per week but is more like every 3 to 4 weeks :( guess it is added costs for the variation but cheaper in long run