Looming Court case - Help

[marykateashley]

I filed a C100 back in November and after the cafcass call and safeguarding letter we've been given a hearing date in mid February for a 45 minute hearing in family Court.
Some slight background. We've been separated for over 5 years, divorced almost 4. Arrangements have barely changed in that time. Currently the children go to their fathers 6 nights a month (sometimes 8, if there's 5 weekends in the month) from after tea on Friday to after tea on Sunday. I work a zero hour contract which has worked pretty well for flexibility. Obviously I do all appointments, etc. I have asked in the order for dad to collect from school on Friday and keep until dropped at school Monday. This would enable me to work full time hours and still be available through week for sickness or appointments or meltdowns (couple of ND kids in there that struggle sometimes). I'd also like to attempt having some sort of social life but I've gone without that for 14 years now so that's not as important. Anyway. I'm not using a solicitor and I'm starting to panic about what will actually happen in court. I don't want to fumble over my words or behave in a ridiculous way just because I'm not prepared. So if there's anything at all that anyone can share with me it will all help. Who do I need to speak to, how do I address them, what kind of things are they going to ask me. Can I take someone with me for support that doesn't sit with me. Can I take my mum to talk for me???? Honestly, no detail is too small, my autism will be so much happier if I know every single possibility rather than going in totally unaware. Thank you all

You may find this video useful.

No, you can't take your mum to talk for you, I'm afraid.

Thank you so much for this. It's massively helpful. I know I'll need to speak for myself, so it really helps to see the basics laid out like that

Hi I work as an usher in the family court.

Only legal representatives are allowed to speak on your behalf, so no your Mum cant speak for you. But if your Mum doesnt have an interest in the case, you can make an application to have a "McKenzie friend" in court with you. This is someone who doesnt speak, but stays with you for moral support. They can sit next to you, take notes, quietly offer advice, remind you of things etc.

Google "Mckenzie friend form" and give it to the usher when you arrive for the hearing. The other side can object, but if this happens the judge will hear from both of you and then make a decision on whether to allow them in or not. Ive only ever seen this declined if the person has an interest in the case (usually new partners who live with you) or if the judge thinks they will interfere with the hearing in some way.

When you arrive you can ask the usher any questions you want about what to call the judge, where to sit etc.

Bullet point key words..
Print off your papers in large print.

Take a tissue incase you get upset.
Keep it factual.
Ask for a drink of water if you need a moment to compose yourself.
Make sure your requests are for hwj dc's benefit not yours.. Although I appreciate everything you do is for the dc. But ex won't agree to things he sees as favours to you.
Beware you don't seem if you can't manage without his input.
I once asked ex to bring some wipes. He played I wasn't coping alone!
Remember in the court situation he is The Enemy. And you don't need to consider him at all.