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Original poster

Self Representation at Family Court

61 replies

ljhals · 29/01/2023 12:24

Hello all. My first thread here so bear with me!
I currently have a PSO in place. Solicitor costs are spiraling as my ex is being awkward. I don't qualify for legal aid. Thinking about representing myself in court, but I am honestly petrified to the point my anxiety has been triggered.
Does anyone have any experience in this, or have any advice?
TIA.

OP posts:
KatieB55 · 30/01/2023 19:49

Open Access Barrister will give fixed price. You upload documents for them to read. Include Position Statement with outline of current situation and what outcome you are looking for. Barrister will probably have a call to discuss and ask questions. Then they will present your case and help you at the court.

TizerorFizz · 30/01/2023 23:20

It’s far better for a solicitor to brief, and work with, a barrister. Plus the client of course. All these other options are there but they are not necessarily best for op. Barristers not in Chambers don’t have the benefit of colleagues for example

It really is better to have a team putting the case together. The op has already been told stuff by posters here that’s just hearsay and the op thinks detailed evidence and getting a witness matters. All of this needs to be considered by a barrister who would conduct the case in court.They know what the judge wants to hear. How to present info. How to make the best case. It really is best to engage a professional who really knows what they are doing.

Shry · 31/01/2023 14:41

Hi, I work as a court usher in the family court. I'm not legally trained, so anything I say shouldnt be taken as legal advice but i can tell you what ive seen others do.

Loads of parents represent themselves in the family court, you are definitely not alone if you decide to do this. Some people tell me they get help from solicitors to set up the case and tell them what they can legally do/ask but then represent themselves in court to save on costs. The judge will be well used to dealing with litigants in person and will be able to guide the hearing and what you need to submit to the court some degree.

Another option is what we call a "McKenzie friend". This person cant represent you or speak for you in court, but they can be there for moral support, take notes, give advice quietly and remind you of things to say. This can be a family member or a friend as long as they don't have an interest in the case, lots of people find this helps with anxiety and it helps to remember things that were said in court if someone else was there. You can also hire professional mckenzie friends which are cheaper than solicitors and ive seen them help with position statements etc before. Some charities, universities also offer them for free. If you want to go down this route, you can google mckenzie friend form, print it out and give it to the usher when you arrive. The other side can object to it, but if this is the case the judge will hear your side and make a decision on whether they can be in the room or not. This is why its important that its not someone with an interest in the case.

Hope this helps a bit! Feel free to DM me if needed.

TizerorFizz · 31/01/2023 17:58

Many barristers find McKenzie friends not well versed in the law. They are not trained or professional. In a complex case - best to avoid.

Original poster
ljhals · 31/01/2023 19:33

Shry · 31/01/2023 14:41

Hi, I work as a court usher in the family court. I'm not legally trained, so anything I say shouldnt be taken as legal advice but i can tell you what ive seen others do.

Loads of parents represent themselves in the family court, you are definitely not alone if you decide to do this. Some people tell me they get help from solicitors to set up the case and tell them what they can legally do/ask but then represent themselves in court to save on costs. The judge will be well used to dealing with litigants in person and will be able to guide the hearing and what you need to submit to the court some degree.

Another option is what we call a "McKenzie friend". This person cant represent you or speak for you in court, but they can be there for moral support, take notes, give advice quietly and remind you of things to say. This can be a family member or a friend as long as they don't have an interest in the case, lots of people find this helps with anxiety and it helps to remember things that were said in court if someone else was there. You can also hire professional mckenzie friends which are cheaper than solicitors and ive seen them help with position statements etc before. Some charities, universities also offer them for free. If you want to go down this route, you can google mckenzie friend form, print it out and give it to the usher when you arrive. The other side can object to it, but if this is the case the judge will hear your side and make a decision on whether they can be in the room or not. This is why its important that its not someone with an interest in the case.

Hope this helps a bit! Feel free to DM me if needed.

Brilliant, thank you!!

I thought there must have been more people that do this because how on earth most people can afford a solicitor is beyond me. I've spend thousands already and just do not have anymore to spend on it. He is honestly digging his own grave when you see the nonsense he is sending my solicitor and my partner so I don't think it's going to be majorly, majorly difficult. When you see the photographic evidence of the drug paraphernalia in his home its pretty clear he lied to the first judge anyway.

Yes, I read a bit about McKenzie friends. I wonder if my honorary sister in law could stand with me?

My local university also offers some free legal advice so will get onto them and see what they can advise also.

OP posts:
Original poster
ljhals · 31/01/2023 19:35

KatieB55 · 30/01/2023 19:49

Open Access Barrister will give fixed price. You upload documents for them to read. Include Position Statement with outline of current situation and what outcome you are looking for. Barrister will probably have a call to discuss and ask questions. Then they will present your case and help you at the court.

Okay, this doesn't sound too bad and well explained, thank you. They do seem a damn sight more affordable than solicitors!

OP posts:
Original poster
ljhals · 31/01/2023 19:36

TizerorFizz · 30/01/2023 23:20

It’s far better for a solicitor to brief, and work with, a barrister. Plus the client of course. All these other options are there but they are not necessarily best for op. Barristers not in Chambers don’t have the benefit of colleagues for example

It really is better to have a team putting the case together. The op has already been told stuff by posters here that’s just hearsay and the op thinks detailed evidence and getting a witness matters. All of this needs to be considered by a barrister who would conduct the case in court.They know what the judge wants to hear. How to present info. How to make the best case. It really is best to engage a professional who really knows what they are doing.

Thank you for this extra information. If I use any professional it would have to be a barrister as I simply cannot afford the solicitor anymore. If I have to go it alone, so be it.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 31/01/2023 19:40

I went to family court and ex represented himself.

the judge was patient and kind to him

its people sat around a large table and a judge overseeing the proceedings

others have given advice on how to proceed but I wanted to add that it’s not intimidating setting imo

Original poster
ljhals · 31/01/2023 19:43

ivykaty44 · 31/01/2023 19:40

I went to family court and ex represented himself.

the judge was patient and kind to him

its people sat around a large table and a judge overseeing the proceedings

others have given advice on how to proceed but I wanted to add that it’s not intimidating setting imo

Thank you for your reply.

Did you find your ex managed okay on his own? Can you remember what he had to do/what he included?

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 31/01/2023 19:48

i jyst remover my ex being treated with upmost respect and patients

sadly for him he was trying to push something through that had already got a watertight test case, so he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

but what I was trying to give you was the peace of mind that it’s ok to represent yourself.

in an ideal world a solicitor and barrister would be ideal or just a barrister on court day. If you don’t have the funds, and that was your query - then what else can you do?

ivykaty44 · 31/01/2023 19:51

One additional nite

my exgot to cross examine me, he asked me 5 closed questions- it was easy for me to answer yes or no and that was the end

if you ask a question make it an open question that yes ir no will not be applicable

mitsandscarf · 01/02/2023 19:38

I self represented in family court 3 times. Nothing to be petrified about at all, just remain calm, remain child focused, you can do it! If you are going to be doing a position statement there are loads of great examples on Google etc, I’ve got court coming up again soon!

mitsandscarf · 01/02/2023 19:42

I keep getting taken to court as he’s never happy with the outcome the court has decided 😂

Original poster
ljhals · 01/02/2023 20:29

mitsandscarf · 01/02/2023 19:42

I keep getting taken to court as he’s never happy with the outcome the court has decided 😂

I've a funny feeling my ex is going to be doing this sort of nonsense!

You've do e it yourself 3 times! Wow! What did you do other than your position statement? What do you put in it?

OP posts:
Original poster
ljhals · 01/02/2023 20:30

ivykaty44 · 31/01/2023 19:51

One additional nite

my exgot to cross examine me, he asked me 5 closed questions- it was easy for me to answer yes or no and that was the end

if you ask a question make it an open question that yes ir no will not be applicable

So you can both ask each other questions? I thought it was just a case of presenting facts to the judge?

OP posts:
mitsandscarf · 01/02/2023 20:56

ljhals · 01/02/2023 20:29

I've a funny feeling my ex is going to be doing this sort of nonsense!

You've do e it yourself 3 times! Wow! What did you do other than your position statement? What do you put in it?

Show quote history

Well he strung the divorce out for 2 years for the financial settlement so there was a lot of back and forth with solicitors letters. I started to take note of the language they use. My ex had a solicitor who writes directly to me and I respond, must be costing him a bloody fortune. With child arrangements there are legalities but nothing like a divorce settlement.

so he originally applied for an order and wasn’t awarded what he wanted for contact time, now he’s continued to breach the order making unilateral decisions that are not in agreement and just carrying out these new arrangements. So the last time he did it I wrote back saying you will need to apply to the court for a variation as due to blah blah blah I cannot facilitate these changes and I am not in agreement

he’s now applied for court and they will have a field day. In the position statement just make it child focused with evidence if you can to support what arrangements you would like and why these are in the best interests of the child

mitsandscarf · 01/02/2023 21:09

Also if anything isn’t working at the moment highlight what this is and the affect this is having on your child. The court would like to see you are being somewhat flexible and open also.

avoid saying “my ex is an absolute spanner” even if you think that 🤣🤣

mitsandscarf · 01/02/2023 21:11

ivykaty44 · 31/01/2023 19:51

One additional nite

my exgot to cross examine me, he asked me 5 closed questions- it was easy for me to answer yes or no and that was the end

if you ask a question make it an open question that yes ir no will not be applicable

Was that for a child arrangements order for family court or a divorce? I got cross examined in the divorce hearing but not child arrangements court hearing

TizerorFizz · 01/02/2023 23:09

Contested hearings can have cross examination. The evidence is stress tested. Could be ex’s barrister doing it.

Shry · 02/02/2023 10:37

ljhals · 31/01/2023 19:33

Brilliant, thank you!!

I thought there must have been more people that do this because how on earth most people can afford a solicitor is beyond me. I've spend thousands already and just do not have anymore to spend on it. He is honestly digging his own grave when you see the nonsense he is sending my solicitor and my partner so I don't think it's going to be majorly, majorly difficult. When you see the photographic evidence of the drug paraphernalia in his home its pretty clear he lied to the first judge anyway.

Yes, I read a bit about McKenzie friends. I wonder if my honorary sister in law could stand with me?

My local university also offers some free legal advice so will get onto them and see what they can advise also.

Show quote history

Yes absolutely, so print the form out and bring it with you along with your SIL on the day. Although ive seen you are considering a barrister so i should say that if you are represented in court a mckenzie friend usually isnt allowed as you have the support from the barrister and family court proceedings should be as private as possible.

Good luck in your case xx

ivykaty44 · 02/02/2023 14:22

Yes, I read a bit about McKenzie friends. I wonder if my honorary sister in law could stand with me?

The only thing I know about McKenzie friend, the solicitor that was handling the case refused to let my ex have his friend in the court room - he , ex, was suggesting that the friend was a Mckenzie friend. The solicitor asked me if I wanted the friend in the room and I said no not really, the solicitor then stopped the friend was prevented from entering by telling the guard on the door not to let the friend through - that was it they never entered the court

I would do your research about Mckenzie friend and make sure they have the authority to enter and not be stopped. Id rather forwarn you than you get a surprise

Shry · 03/02/2023 11:28

Its interesting you say that, as solicitors actually have no say whatsoever about who sits in the court room lol. They can tell the judge they object to it, but it is all the judges decision. If one side objects, you can make an application directly to the judge and ask them to make the decision. So if this happened as you say, I'd say this guy was overstepping his professional boundaries by instructing security like that.

ivykaty44 · 03/02/2023 13:10

Its interesting you say that, as solicitors actually have no say whatsoever about who sits in the court room lol

but family court is not a open court, so is it not different than another court?

TizerorFizz · 03/02/2023 17:23

The judge decides who attends in a family court. Not a solicitor.. A McKenzie friend is usually allowed for moral support but the judge should be asked.

IamLorde · 08/02/2023 11:48

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