Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

How to get a copy of a family members will?

14 replies

welshrainbow1 · 16/01/2023 14:12

It'a a long story but basically my wife's Grandmother who all the family were very close to was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia approximately 5 years ago. Her Son who lived with her, is a very manipulative and abusive character, he also has an addiction to pain medication and is extremely paranoid. He's taken full advantage of her mental state completely cutting her off from her family, telling her lies about what they have apparently said and done, it's all untrue and has caused a lot of upset.
Prior to this the family had all had concerns about his controlling behavior, they'd requested a welfare check, liaised with Social Services and her GP but nothing could be done as her needs were being met and she was convinced he was the good guy. The family have spent the last 3 years trying to contact her but he's blocked their calls, won't answer the door and we suspect he also intercepted her post.
Just before Christmas my wife received a message of condolence from a cousin, they didn't know much but they'd found out that my wife's Grandmother had sadly passed 4 days previous and there was to be no funeral. This didn't make sense as she was an active member of the church for many years and had always said she wanted a small service for family and friends. The family enlisted a solicitor to determine what her wishes were. The funeral directors have not seen anything in writing, they were merely acting on the request of her son. The cremation was halted and a letter was sent to her son but he is yet to reply, our guess is that he won't.
The family desperately want her at rest but want to ensure that her wises are followed. They'd all like the chance to say goodbye or at the very least scatter her ashes somewhere she enjoyed. She had previously mentioned that she had a will, informing her daughter where a copy was kept in the house but nobody can get access to the house. She'd mentioned to my wife and I not long before contact was stopped, that her son had taken her to make some changes to the will. She didn't say what the changes were but we've always assumed that his motivation was money and he's convinced her to change it, nobody else in the family has been contacted by a solicitor and so we assume that this is what he's done.
We need to see a copy of the will to determine what her wishes were but nobody knows who the solicitor was who dealt with it, we can't seem to find it via a search and we can't get access to her house to see the copy, as he won't answer the door. Can anybody offer any advice as to where we can go with this?

OP posts:
Aprilx · 16/01/2023 19:19

A relative of mine died unexpectedly a couple of years ago. I compiled a list of solicitors in the area and started to ring around. I found the will and got a copy, but I was the named executor. I do not believe they would have shared it with me otherwise. Once probate has been granted, wills are available for anyone to order on a government website but I presume this is not at that stage.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 16/01/2023 19:28

Hi there is some info here that might help

www.reassured.co.uk/life-insurance/how-to-find-out-if-someone-has-a-will/

AmandaHoldensLips · 16/01/2023 19:28

There's bugger-all you can do about this unless you are a named beneficiary or executor of the will (if indeed there is a will). If there is no will, and she had died intestate, then her estate will have to go through a different process.

The only way you can get a copy of a will if you're not directly connected with it, is after probate you can apply (and pay for) a copy through the probate service.

welshrainbow1 · 17/01/2023 10:12

Thanks for the information, it's such a difficult and frustrating situation it has been for the past few years. He'll have loved the control and the upset that he's caused and continues to do so, he's not a nice person! It's so sad to think what they all missed out on in the last years of her life.
They've tried contacting all of the local solicitors but no luck unfortunately. The priority at the moment is just to lay her to rest and give her a personal send off, surrounded by her loved ones but it seems that without a long drawn out legal battle, that isn't going to happen.

OP posts:
Princessglittery · 18/01/2023 13:58

@welshrainbow1 If I understand your wife’s grandmother had at least 2 children the son who lived with her and your wife’s parent.

This is where you can be a bit creative. If you have reasonably checked for a will you can assume there isn’t one. This means intestacy applies www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

All the grandmothers children have equal rights and can apply to administer the estate. I would advise your wife’s parent to join with any other siblings (not the son) and see a solicitor. Ask the solicitor to write to the son and state as no will (siblings) applying jointly for letters of administration. Then jointly arrange the funeral as administrators and start tracking down and closing bank accounts etc. Also get a copy of the land register for the property (£3) www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry and set up a property alert (free) www.gov.uk/guidance/property-alert

This will either see the son produce a will or let you get on with it. You will need solicitors and be prepared for the son to have denuded the estate of assets.

Keep a record of all expenses for funeral and legal advice as you can claim them back from the estate.

welshrainbow1 · 18/01/2023 14:40

Thank you for that information, it's really helpful.

Yes you are correct, 2 children. Prior to the rest of the family being cut out of her life. She had spoken about her wishes in regards to a funeral and how she wanted her estate to be divided and it was a 50/50 split between her children with sentimental items also set aside for her Grandchildren.

Unfortunately we know she's been coerced and lied to over the past few years and we strongly suspect that he is now the sole beneficiary, or that the house has already been transferred into his name. He is also the only person who has access to her bank accounts and again, I expect these have been emptied. It's such a horrible situation!

OP posts:
Princessglittery · 18/01/2023 17:41

@welshrainbow1 the course of action I suggested would at least flush out a will or the administrator can at least give her a decent funeral.

I am so sorry for your family’s loss.

JimDixon · 18/01/2023 23:15

If she was diagnosed with vascular dementia five years ago, she would not have had capacity to alter her will. So any will written after her diagnosis could be challenged.

NoSquirrels · 18/01/2023 23:19

I would let him go ahead with the cremation, and organise a service of thanksgiving for her life with her church.

I would resign myself to never seeing the will, or only seeing it at probate, and it saying something very different to what she had promised whilst alive.

I’m sorry for your loss.

Maxiedog123 · 18/01/2023 23:20

I second the above poster. If she had a formal diagnosis of a vascular dementia 5 years ago, any subsequent will is questionable.

welshrainbow1 · 19/01/2023 11:33

Thank you, the information is really useful and we'll go down this path to try and make some headway.

She definitely wasn't in the right frame of mind to make decisions, it's the reason why he was able to take control.

OP posts:
Belindabelle · 19/01/2023 11:50

He can’t have it both ways. Either he produces the will that shows he is the executor and sole beneficiary or he has to share the responsibility and assets with his sibling.

CoffeandTiaMaria · 19/01/2023 11:57

I got a copy of my grandparents’ wills online. I think it cost a few £ for each?
www.gov.uk/search-will-probate
I discovered that I was left a significant amount of money by each of them but I didn’t receive a penny thanks to my father being executor. Nothing surprises me now about him!

welshrainbow1 · 19/01/2023 14:40

@CoffeandTiaMaria

I'm sorry to read that, people are truly awful when it comes to money!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page