Has anyone done the REMO route for child maintenance?

[Legaldispair]

So my ex husband is suppose to pay child maintenance, paid the minimum for a few years and last year I noticed CMS were using old information to work out what he should pay me as his salary had trebled and they have never recalculated, to cut a long story short I have a hearing soon about this as he continued to dispute it and HE took it to tribunal. THEN on top of that he moved to New York… has always threatened it, and has paid nothing for a year as he ‘doesn’t know what he is supposed to pay as there are no rules’ due to the fact him and myself are both UK citizens. Not even paying a contribution amount and not even bothering to look into it so I have had no choice but to go down the REMO route. Those papers have only just gone off to then as it took 6 months just to get these papers (CMS were dicking around in the mean time and not helping with this) so he owes me aLOT of money in under payments which I know America won’t be interested in and he hasn’t paid me for a year… has anyone actually had any success with the Remo route? I’m slowly running out of any positivity. I can’t afford legal help so I’m on my own.

can anyone share this experiences with me please? Anything I need to know that they don’t tell you etc?

@Sunchi my experience initially wasn't great. I first contacted Remo in July 2023, and I was sent the forms via email, of which the pages weren't in the right order and a couple of them appeared to be missing. The wording wasn't easy to understand as there was a lot of legal jargon and it was very Americanised, which made it even more difficult. When I tried to get some legal help with completing the forms I found this to be impossible. Citizens advice took one look and said they couldn't touch it as it was out of their remit. Similar response from the Law Centre. So I tried some solicitors and found that most had never even heard of this process, and the few who had, wanted an extortionate fee just for sitting down with me and going through the forms. I contacted Remo and asked if they were able to provide any assistance and pretty much got a "computer says no" response. The only people who were willing to help me complete the forms were some lovely ladies at a domestic abuse survivor organisation. Anyway, by this time the MEBC had closed their London office and had moved all cases to their central office in Ipswich. I contacted them and sent them the forms and other information in July 2023. They then sent them back for some amendments before they sent them to the foreign authorities. I did this, and sent them back two weeks ago. I emailed for confirmation but received no response. I called Remo last week and asked how long it would take for him to receive it, and they said up to 6 months!! And this is when I've provided all the contact information they need, home address, work address, phone number and even his social security number so they don't even have to trace him!! It makes no sense. I'm starting to wonder if this process even works because I don't think anyone on this thread has confirmed ever receiving any money. I despair!

@Serrina I know how you feel. I have seen from others in this thread it can and does work but requires blood and sweat to get there. It is a shame that the process is so flawed it as if they don't want you to get payment from the non paying parent. If a child is abducted or if an absent parent ftom overeases wish to gain contact with children due to no contact order in place, there is a whole host of organisations, like Reunite who offer free advice and support. However to receive advice on recouping payment from parents overseas, absolutely nothing, you are on your own. Financial abuse is a crime yet unless the parent resides in the UK you are offered no support or guidance whatsoever. This is a continued form of abuse. We need a charity like Reunite that offers support to parents who are dealing with financial abuse from absent fathers overseas.

My ex feels he is untouchable, but I will not rest or leave any stone unturned until he pays whst is rightfully due our children. Please don't give up!

@Bluefields I just don't understand why it would take 6 months just for him to even receive the paperwork, when I've provided them with all the information they need in order to find him. The guy at MEBC said I've literally done most of their job for them, so I can't understand now why Remo are saying that.

@Serrina I doubt very much other will be 6mths. They give the worst possible timescale because it is not in REMO control. The documents will be sent to the Central Authority of his country. They can quickly chase him through the tax authority or other government authorities. It is literally. Once they have traced him, which will be easy enough as you have done the work for them. It just a tick box paper exercise as they need to confirm official themselves.

@Bluefields I really hope so. Yes you're right financial abuse is a crime but in most US states it isn't recognised as one unless its happening to an elderly person. Which is why he thinks he can get away with it. I'm actually quite worried about his reaction when he does receive the paperwork, because I know he isn't going to be happy to say the least.

@Serrina, it's a form of coercive controlling abuse. Try not to focus on him, that is what he wants. Greyrock as much as possible if he contacts you. I believe it will work, just stay resilient, which I know is not easy. Once it is on the court system the control will e out of his hands

@Serrina Thank you so much for your response about REMO. It is absolutely brilliant and just what I'm looking for to add to my list of things to talk about next week. However, the content is just devastating to hear. What you say is what many, many more women have told me and it is outrageous that we are left alone to fend for ourselves.

When I put in my application, their timeline was 5 working days to send off an application, 20 working days to send off subsequent paperwork. When I spoke to a senior REMO staff member, told me he didn't recognise those numbers and that it would take at least 3 months to send off a new application and 6 months to hear back.

By not paying child maintenance, we are all getting a dose of coercive control. Now we know what to call it and as you say the authorities are colluding in that control by not processing our paperwork at pace.

@Serrina You're also right that there is no help available from CAB, lawyers, the DWP/CMS or solicitors. They have zero knowledge.

@Sunchi no knowledge whatsoever. In fact the only reason I became aware of this procedure was because I contacted the US Embassy. Other than that, nobody seems to know anything.

@Serrina Thanks for letting me know how you found out about REMO. With regards to Reunite, yes, they look like a professional organisation started by women who wanted help with child abduction, etc., compared to REMO, which seems hugely out of touch and unaccountable and doesn't seem to have improved its processes and practices in the last 15 years.

@Okapimum @Serrina @Bluefields and everyone else.

The All Party Parliamentary Group session that I was asked to speak at was postponed on 6th December. I don't have a date for the next opportunity to speak, but have been told that it will be February.

Hiya everyone.

Anyone had any luck with REMO???

Sent mine off initially at the beginning of August. Had to send additional paperwork in November. Not heard anything yet.

just wondered if anyone else had. This thread has been quiet lately xx

No, still waiting. I was also asked to send additional paperwork in October which I did. Heard nothing since. I sent them an email but they hardly ever reply to me!

Fingers crossed you’ll get some response soon. I’m planning on chasing this tomorrow on the phone as they usually get back quicker that way.

Yes I'm applying , its very slow but I will get backdated payments apparently
He is in Italy. The paperwork is very complex .. my solicitor helped me

I waited 9 months for an email from them..

I started the process on Nov 2021 (did not need to send any further documentation). The application was sent off to the other country (Spain) in March 2022, and I had no update since. Chased the process in Aug 2023, but all I got was a confirmation that the other country received the process in April 2022, and I was told that any update would be communicated to REMO UK, and they should keep me updated. But I have not had any update whatsoever. My process is meant to be a straightforward one, as I do have a court order (which states the amount of child maintenance), and all the details of the paying parent (address, bank account, etc). It will soon be 2 years since the other country received my application :(

Be patient, very patient... but don't give up!! Keep us posted!

That is so unbelievably frustrating. Do you wonder whether he could potentially have moved from the address you provided?

I’m so sorry.. these ‘fathers’ get away with murder

@UKmama78 Please don't give up. As you say these 'parents' get away with blue murder, so it up to us to keep on at them. REMO/MEBC just don't seem to be fit for purpose at the moment, if they ever did. My case was completed in 2009/2010 and not much has improved, in my opinion.

I eventually took REMO and my local family court to the Ombudsman after they didn't take my complaints seriously. Even that was a very long process. However, the Ombudsman found in my favour and said that I was denied access to justice at the lowest possible cost; and that both REMO and HMTCS were 'guilty' of maladministration. They said my case could have been resolved 18 months earlier. So, not much has changed.

I would definitely keep chasing as this is the only way to find out what is going. The MEBC employs approx 50 people and they are administrators. I'm not sure about REMO, but 10 years ago they only had about 6 people working there. Then, their Key Performance Indicators were 5 working days to get an application to the foreign country after receipt of your application; and 20 working days to reply to any subsequent correspondence. That figure is now 3 months for an application. They say it takes 6 months to get a response from the foreign authority. Obviously, some countries are more efficient than others.

@ChaliceinWonderland How did you get your back payments/arrears. I know another mother with a case in Italy who I am sure would like to know. Many thanks.

Take part in a podcast/documentary

I have recently made contact with a person who works for a production company. They are interested in hearing about parents' experiences with the MEBC/REMO process.

I would be really happy to hear from anyone on here who would like to be considered to talk about their REMO journey.

If so, please get in touch using the private messaging service or just by posting a message. Many thanks.

As the OP I thought I’d come back after a WHOLE YEAR. To say I have got nowhere. My papers are with the American court but that is it. I have emailed this end but the automated email says they are currently dealing with emails dated from JUNE 2023!!!!

That's awful. Are they doing this deliberately to put us off from applying. I called REMO last week. They are still waiting for my documents to be translated. Its been 3 mths already with the translater. When it does eventually reach the other country I know it will be at least 2 years before a final decision is been made, because he will appeal and fight tooth and nail not to pay a penny towards the children. But trust me I will not give up, it for my kids abd they deserve for both parents to provide for them. The lady is not turning!

@Bluefields: I don't know how much documentation you have to translate, but 3 months is outrageous. I worked as a translator for many years and you are always given a deadline to work against.