Trying to get my abducted child back home safe

[Ava12345]

I never thought this could happen but it has. My daughter (12) was abducted on 23rd December 2021 by her father. The UK government department that's supposed to help people get their child back did absolutely nothing to help. I've spent everything I have on the legal fight to have her brought home safe, because I don't believe that she is in the best place for her. I don't believe she is safe where she is. If she was safe and happy, I would support her to stay there but that's not the case. I am going to need at least £6000 to continue this fight and I can't find any way to raise it. So I'm thinking of doing a gofundme. But I wondered if anyone else had any ideas of what I could do. I've had 3 court hearings and they've all gone very badly because she lied to the court to please her father, saying I'm not a good mother. No amount of witnesses saying how happy she was here could change the judges mind because she thinks Portuguese children should be raised in Portugal. Even though my daughter was born in the UK and I am British. Can anyone offer any advice? I'm on my knees. I'm heartbroken, and terrified for her future.

I'm sorry you are going through this OP. Is your daughter 13, nearly 14 now? I'm no expert at all but if she is telling the courts she wants to stay in Portugal, at her age they may well go with her wishes. Have you seen her in person since she left? Are you able to visit her regularly?

British courts would also take the views of a 13/14 year old seriously. With 3 court cases not going your way it doesn't sound promising I'm afraid.

Sorry you are going through this.

Are there childrens charities or social services in Portugal that you can report your safeguarding concerns to?

Hi OP. I recommend contacting reunite.org they were really helpful when I was in a similar situation.
Good luck

I didn't think you could lawfully remove a child from the country for more than 28(?) days without the consent of all with parental responsibility?
In which case can't the police become involved?

Op please look into the hague convention. I'm sure Portugal is under this. He cannot legally do this.
So sorry this is happening to you it must be absolutely awful.

Do you have access to her op?
It's not something that should have to be considered but is there any way you could temporarily go on a extended visit to Portugal to try and build a relationship where she can see that you want what's best for her?

Portugal has indeed ratified the Hague Convention.

If he had a child arrangements order naming him as someone with whom OP's daughter is to live, he could legally take her out of the country for up to one month. Without that, he needed either the OP's consent or an appropriate court order. If he didn't have those, he has committed a criminal offence. However, we don't know the full history. In particular, we don't know what court orders were in place. He may have committed an offence, but we can't say definitively that he has.

If the three court hearings were in Portugal, and your daughter is (even if she's only pretending to please her father) showing to the authorities that she is happy to be in Portugal, then at 13/14, as others have said, her wishes will be taken into consideration.
As she's been there for over a year, I'm guessing this is the case, and that you gave your permission via a consent letter for her to go and then she didn't return when you expected her to?
So sorry you are going through this, but it does sound as if the courts (both Portuguese and UK) wouldn't see it as parental abduction but rather as the old enough to have their wishes taken into consideration child expressing their own ideas.
Do you have joint custody and a residence agreement drawn up?
There are some excellent family lawyers who post on MN who may be able to offer you more exact advice.

Cross-posted with @prh47bridge who is one of the people I meant.
Good luck OP.

If she’s 13/14 and has lived in Portugal for over a year now then the courts are likely to take her thoughts into consideration.

I understand that this is difficult, but you need to think about what you really want to achieve here.

She is obviously happy with her father. She has told the courts she is, and in truth you have no way of knowing that she isn’t, you are just hoping that she isn’t iyswim.

But she will have a friendship network in Portugal, school there, as much as you want her back with you, you might need to look at how you make this work so that you can build a relationship with her which will last into the future. Because at this age she’s not going to thank you for ripping her away from her life. And doing so isn’t going to be the happy reunion you’re looking for.

Thanks everyone. To answer questions, she's 12. She says she's happy there. However, she witnessed him physically attack me when she was 6. I had injuries including a broken arm. I didn't leave him then. I left him 3 months later after he hurt her, and raised his hand to her older sister. I'm very scared for her safety. He's a narcissist and abusive, or I'd just support her to stay there and be happy and well. This isn't about what I want. This is about what's best for her. The Portuguese court is not disputing that she was abducted, and that he acted unlawfully. They are saying that if she wishes to stay, under the Hague convention, she should stay. But she doesn't know she's at risk. She doesn't know he's playing nice until the court cases are over, and I'm paying child support to him, and then he'll be himself because this whole thing is about punishing me and getting money. If he took her because he loved her, I'd be a lot less worried. Thank you all again. Your kindness means so much at a really horrible time.

Oh, and there is no child arrangements order because he never wanted anything to do with her, and he didn't want to pay child support, and I didn't want to deal with him. So I just raised her alone.

They are saying that if she wishes to stay, under the Hague convention, she should stay

One of the defences available under the Hague Convention is that the child is old enough and has enough maturity to object to being returned and it is appropriate to heed that rejection. So, although he has committed a criminal offence under UK law, the Portuguese courts are entitled to use the fact she appears to want to stay with her father as determinative.

I presume you have tried to convince the courts that she is at risk and they haven't accepted your arguments?

Yes, I've tried. It's very difficult because of the language barrier - I speak enough Portuguese to get by conversationally, but the legal stuff is too complicated. They'd made their minds up before I walked into the courtroom. He's very charming and plausible, like narcissists are.

Where is her sister is she with you?

I'd save the money so you can go amd get her when she decides she no longer wants to live there which won't ge long if what you say about her Dad plays out.

My eldest is with me, yes. She's an adult now.

Does she have a Portuguese passport? If not, then she cannot legally stay in Portugal for more than 90 days in every 180 days. Or has he gone through the process of family reunification and she is now a resident?

She has both Portuguese and British passports. I made this easy for him, thinking it was the right thing to do to support her to have a good relationship with her father. I was positive about him, about Portuguese culture, about all parts of her cultural heritage. This is a nightmare I can't wake up from.