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Legal matters

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Property, Separation, Domestic Violence

3 replies

iníontíre · 06/01/2023 18:49

Hi everyone,

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I fled domestic violence last year after XP seriously assaulted me by strangulation. We lived together in the UK but I am from another country. We own a property together as joint tenants which is now on the market. I returned to the home after the assault and have been living in it. I plan to do so until it is sold.

I applied for a non molestation order 6 months ago on the advice of police, solicitors and a domestic violence support worker. It was finialised a couple of weeks ago but the process was dragged out as XP denied the assault, would not accept the order and insisted on contested final hearing which ended up being re-traumatising for me and a huge expense.

The Judge made findings that XP did assault me and he has been ordered to pay my legal fees. At XP's request there is a provision in the order for him to have a third party collect his belongings at a date to be arranged through my solicitor. His belongings are pretty much the entire contents of the house, beds, couch, dining table, crockery, cutlery. I agreed for him to come to the house to take everything away on a date in December but he refused.

I can't pay the solicitor this month after paying £5000 for a barrister to represent me at the hearing in the December. Not being able to harass me through my solicitor, XP has now gone to the police and reported his belongings as stolen. Police have made an appointment to accompany him to the house next week and have instructed me to either have a family member represent me (which isn't an option as I have no family in the country) or be present myself but "stay out of the way", seriously. I have been receiving calls and emails from police for the last couple of days demanding to know my availability and insisting that he can attend the property with police in attendance as they will prevent any breach of the peace. The sealed order from the court clearly states that he should not come within 100 metres of the property and that a third party should collect his belongings.

I am not trying to keep his things from him, I will be glad when they are gone, but I don't feel well enough or strong enough to deal with the situation at the moment. I am taking some time to try to recover from everything with my family in my home country and do not intend to return to the UK for another month at least. My question is, can police force me to facilitate him collecting his belongings like this? At a time determined by XP, allowing him to come to the house even though the order clearly states it must be a third party?

Any advice would be much appreciated, I hope this makes sense 😩 Every time i think its over something else happens 😥

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 07/01/2023 00:29

No, the police cannot give someone permission to breach a court order and they should definitely not facilitate a criminal offence (in this case, breach of a non-molestation order).

Are you sure this is the police and not someone pretending to be a police officer? If it is the police, make sure they are aware that he will be in breach of a non-molestation order and that therefore, if he attempts to come within 100m of the house, you will expect them to arrest him as he will be committing an offence. If they continue to insist that he can attend your property, make a formal complaint.

Quitelikeit · 07/01/2023 00:32

Excellent advice from ph47

i also wonder if it’s his friends calling you

i don’t think the police in this country have time to constantly call and chase people possessions tbh!

Zlatababa · 16/03/2023 17:29

Hello,

I would like to ask for your opinion.
Am a mother of 1 child and live with her father but want to leave. Do you know how I can do this and will I struggle as a single mother?

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