hi I have a serious situation I need some advice on. I’ll start by saying ex has a gambling addiction. Sorry it’s long but I wanted to ensure I had all details in.
so when we was together (3 yrs ago approx) we had a joint account for bills which was all well and good at the time, we then split up and I should of got my name taken off the account as I have my own account and was no need for me to use this any more. I didn’t, and I’m regretting this now with what has come to light.
he also has his own account and as far as I was aware he would use the one in question to pay maintenance and his bills as he is crap with money.
I kept myself on because he was a shit at paying maintenance in the beginning and I set up a standing order (he claimed to not know how to do it) for maintenance for our son at the agreed amount (£30 per week) and I thought I’ll keep myself on the account incase he tries to cancel the S.o and I can just set it back up again as my name is on and I wouldn’t get in trouble for ‘taking his money’ as he would like to say. I know it sounds like a lot of game playing here.
I’ll just mention after we split up I never transferred myself any of his money aside from what I was paid via S.o. Sometimes he would manually send the money and the standing order would come out aswel so I’d send the duplicate payment back or he would sometimes say transfer myself X amount towards our child’s upkeep (maybe £20 maximum towards a coat or something, never any huge amount) I have proof of all of this and those instances were few and far between, but never helped myself to what was in there. I also never thought his balance looked unusually high if I ever logged on or I would have been asking questions a lot sooner and got myself off the account sooner.
anyway I have had a look at the statements tonight. not for any particular reason, just being nosy I guess. He has been paid money from various businesses recently ( he is not self employed but employed by his friend) he deals with admin and invoicing for his friend and I have a suspicion he is stealing money from his friends business. I have asked him and he’s told me he’s not and it’s for a dodgy VAT reason for his friend/boss but when I said I’d message his friend to check that this was the case and not that he was helping himself to money, he was panicking ( I could hear it in his voice) he said his friend wouldn’t be happy that I’m asking questions about his business and to not message him .
im not happy that this is going on in an account with my name on. Which ever way I look at it, it’s illegal.
Yes I should have taken my name off when we split but I am now worried sick that if I am right (which I think I am) that I am going to get caught up in this. His boss is going to notice eventually that money is missing. I am on benefits (recently lost my job) so I’m worried I will be sanctioned or get done for benefit fraud !! Or even worse arrested for stealing someone’s company money!
Can anyone advise me on where I stand?
it was a few hundred quid but the more I go back the more I see so in total I think he’s taken about £1000/£1500, maybe a bit more, over the course of a year (the banking app won’t allow me to go past 12 month for transactions)
First thing Wednesday I’ll be taking my name off that account but I’m worrying that I am going to be implicated with my name being on this account.
as I mentioned above I have proof of everything relating to him ever saying transfer myself extra money towards our child’s upkeep and on the statements where I have been paid maintenance via S.O, it says it was a standing order payment and not me transferring it to my own account.
I’m very worried, please be kind in your responses.
thank you