Will help children

[singlemumhelp]

My children have seperate dads and if I die I want them both to stay together. Van I put in a will that they are to stay together and not be split up and who I ideally would want them living with?

To add, I would be wantint to state they went to my mum or my dad not their biological dads because they don't step up now let alone if I died. I will be keeping a diary that my family can use as evidence

You can write what you like but you don’t have the power to make it happen. Once you are dead, your children will be the sole responsibility of their respective fathers ( I’m assuming they both have contact with their fathers ).

It will be up to them to decide what to do in the best interests of their children. Your wishes will not be binding on them.

Why don’t you talk to both men now and say that if you died you would like the children still to have contact with each other ? Would they be willing to do this? Is there a third party ( like your mother or sister ) who is close to the children now and could facilitate such contact?

When I done my will, I have it written that my parents would take care of my son if I died. His "father" hasn't been around since my son was 1, he's now 10. I was told by the solicitor that completed my will that his dad could try and get custody but would need to go through court to do so.

Ah I’d not seen your second post when I wrote mine.

How often do the dads see their children ? Do they pay child maintenance ?

You cannot dictate what happens to your children. You can appoint guardians in your will and leave a side letter explaining why you want your children to live with them, but that isn't necessarily the end of the matter. If there is a dispute about who the children live with, it will be up to the courts to decide based on the children's best interests.

The youngest sees his dad infrequently as he often cancels and his maintenance paging is sporadic.

My eldest currently sees his dad once a fortnight however he keeps saying he doesnt went to go, so I am anticipating soon it won't be.

My eldest dads gf is a nightmare and she rules him and everything with contact etc, so she doesn't seem to like my mum or mt family so I can't see them cooperating with them.

I am keeping a diary of everything from when they were little, to the things they come out with, their lack of hospital and doctors attendance etc all as proof for my family to fight in court if they ever had to as I know they would. -pixture eveodence of my eldest dads mums house and what he subjects him to it's like something off hoarders.

Just a shame I can't make that decision.

No you can’t make that decision , because you can’t take away the fathers’ parental rights over their children. Only a court can do that

However you can do as a @prh47bridge says and see a solicitor, write a will and power of attorney and appoint your parents as guardians. Perhaps the children’s fathers would not even contest that, as long as your parents allowed them to go on seeing their children as they do now.

It sounds like they would not want to become the childrens full time parent in the event of your death.

It’s good that you are thinking about these things @singlemumhelp , as many parents don’t and then it’s a huge mess for those left behind.

A guardian appointed by will does not become guardian unless there is no one else with parental responsibility. If the fathers are named on the birth certificate they will have PR.