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MIL New partner- access to kids

6 replies

Thefajita · 01/12/2022 21:36

My MIL has been seeing a new partner for a while now. He seems nice and so far my kids have only seen him when myself and DH have been present. We have no plans to leave them with MIL unaccompanied as we don’t live locally but it’s likely to happen at some point. Are there any checks that can be done beforehand? I know women can request this for new partners.
if this can be done, is it anonymous? MIL would be hugely offended if she knew. He seems pleasant enough and I’m not suspicious as such, but he is NC/ low contact with his own children (and by default his grandchildren), apparently due to an argument over inheritance but I just feel slightly uneasy.
Thank you.

OP posts:
GetThatHelmetOn · 01/12/2022 21:40

I am pretty sure you cannot ask information about random people to the police. I suggest that if you feel a bit paranoid you keep your children with you or at home.

tribpot · 01/12/2022 21:42

There's Sarah's Law, which I think might be what you're thinking of?

Thefajita · 02/12/2022 08:16

GetThatHelmetOn · 01/12/2022 21:40

I am pretty sure you cannot ask information about random people to the police. I suggest that if you feel a bit paranoid you keep your children with you or at home.

i totally get that supervising the kids is the obvious thing, but I really want to avoid what is highly likely to be unnecessary upset. When we visit MIL we usually leave the kids with her for a couple of hours to go out for a walk, meal etc. So it would be quite obvious. If that’s the only option then I will obviously.

OP posts:
Thefajita · 02/12/2022 08:17

tribpot · 01/12/2022 21:42

There's Sarah's Law, which I think might be what you're thinking of?

Yes that’s the one, thanks for sharing. It looks like you don’t have to be the one in a relationship with the person so I’ll make enquiries.

OP posts:
GetThatHelmetOn · 02/12/2022 08:20

Don’t use your MIL as a babysitter then. Simple as that don’t put your wish for a meal or a walk above your kids and the relationship with your MIL.

She has the right to rebuild her life and honestly, if his partner was interested in kids, he wouldn’t be grooming an old woman who rarely gets unsupervised access to her grandchildren.

DreamingofItaly2023 · 02/12/2022 08:21

We applied under Sarah’s law about MIL’s H after we were told something very worrying. It is absolutely what it is for.

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