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Family Justice system and fathers

4 replies

RosieRooster83 · 23/11/2022 22:31

I just wanted to post as I am so worn out and exhausted by the family justice system.

My DH and his ex have been in and out of court since 2014 due to her stopping him seeing his son, not allowing DH to take him on holidays etc.

The most recent court application was made due to DSS telling us numerous concerning things such as being recorded getting changed in his bedroom etc. don’t really want to go into too much detail in case of being identifiable. Anyway DH got social services involved due to this and other worrying disclosures by DSS. By the time social services spoke to DSS at school, he was making up all kinds of horrible things about DH, which social care believed. The social worker was so hostile to my DH that I was absolutely gobsmacked. He had taken DSS to the doctors due to him self-harming at his mothers house but the social worker spun this to say that DH was just trying to gain evidence for court.

A few social workers later and DSS was still telling lies to the police and social care, saying DH had physically abused him and that my DD was also involved. Social care did not even speak to my daughter to determine if this was true. It seemed that anything DSS said was gospel in their eyes.

Within proceedings there was a psychological assessment ordered. DH told his son to stop telling lies and to tell the truth to professionals. The truth about both homes. With that, DSS was more truthful but the psychologist then came to the conclusion that because DSS was saying negative things about his mum, that means my DH manipulated his son and was alienating him from his mother.

Even though the psychologist acknowledges that the mother has also engaged in manipulation of their son, it is only DHs contact that is up for scrutiny. He has been recommended supervised contact by the psychologist based on no solid evidence at all. And the mothers contact is not at stake when she has engaged in worse behaviours.

I just don’t understand the whole system and why men are automatically the bad guys in the whole scenario.

It started with DH being concerned about DSS and wanting him to live with us to now having to fight just to keep seeing his child. All tests show he is more calmer in our house and does not self-harm or punch things in our care yet my DH is the bad parent? I don’t understand.

OP posts:
JustAnotherLawyer2 · 24/11/2022 11:50

The fact that you don't understand is precisely why a psychologist was appointed to make the assessment.

A child being calmer with one parent and acting out when in the care of the other, isn't an indicator that the child is happier with the first parent.

Let the court and social services do what they have to. After all, there's nothing else you can do except comply. That's the nature of the family court and is good reason for people to stay away from them when they can.

Wibbly1008 · 24/11/2022 11:53

This sounds like a case with neither parent doing the right thing. You don’t say the age of child, but he is obviously being damaged from the ongoing conflict if he feels the need to lie.

RosieRooster83 · 24/11/2022 13:04

Psychologist was appointed due to guardians recommendation as she was concerned the mother was alienating DSS from DH. There were also concerns around the parental conflict. He is 9 years old.

OP posts:
RosieRooster83 · 24/11/2022 13:13

Also not saying my DH has handled things right but it's just the difference in the treatment that I don't understand, when both parents are at fault.

OP posts:
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