Tracing agency (www.findermonkey.co.uk)

[sundaeonsunday]

I need to know what tools/methods that the UK-based tracing agency Finder Monkey use to trace individuals.

It's come to my attention (can't say how as would be outing) that someone from my distant past is planning to enlist this agency to trace me. There are very specific and serious reasons I don't want contact from this person. They are someone I dated briefly. We went out separate ways nearly 20 years ago.

The person looking for me only has my email address and name (possibly might remember my DOB, but not sure). They know the city where I last lived, although I have moved away from there a few years ago.
My social media settings are very tight and I never use any surname on social media. I just use first and middle names.The nature of my work means I need to be careful about appearing online anyway.

I've ticked the relevant boxes (always) on electoral role forms to say I don't want to be searchable to the public.

I do own a property, so worried in case the agency search my details on the land registry.

Where else do they search? Banks, GPs etc?

Just trying to stop myself being found by this agency on behalf of the searcher because, having read their website and phoned them for advice, they said they have to be honest with him if they find me. So, would have to tell him I've been found and that letters (from them on his behalf, up to 3 letters I believe they send) are being sent to my address.

If I "return to sender" (opened, presumable their name and address will be on the envelope so I'll know it's from them), would this put them off the trail?

I'd rather return to sender or ignore rather than the awkwardness and embarrassment of them reporting back to this ex (who will have by that time paid them a fortune in fees!) that I've been found but have responded to them that I don't want contact from him. I could make him really upset and I'm trying to avoid hurting his feelings.

I wouldnt open any letters from them redirect your mail for a while if you need to. Why are you worried about hurting his feelings, it sounds like you really dont want him to find you, does he pose a danger to you, if so the police mught be able to advise you.

I have no idea what this or any agency does - other than scour publicly avaliable data which it sounds like you’ve been pretty careful on (although things like info or pictures on social media, even when private, can be shared on by friends of friends who think it’s harmless etc). If any agency like a GP or bank gave out information about you (an address or even that you were registered with them) that would be a huge confidentiality breach.

the reason I’m replying is because it sounds like you are genuinely scared of this person and have been for a while. You don’t say, but I got the impression this person may have been abusive or stalked you or was generally unpleasant. There are other ways you could seek support, protection or advice about this eg through a domestic abuse charity (who often give advice about restraining orders) or by calling the police to seek their advice . You could get a restraining order out or another type of injunction to stop this person contacting you (or to make it a breach of an order if they do) .

how did you find out they were trying to locate you?

Thank you for the replies, much appreciated.

Just to and some context and not to drip-feed.. The ex I'm writing about is based abroad (on the other side of the world in fact). He's not from the UK and has never been based here.

Also, he's not threatening or dangerous per se. The circumstances are that, shortly after our split, he entered into a thoroughly unwanted and miserable arranged marriage. He's originally from a culture where arranged marriage nad blind obedience to parents is expected. That's what led me to end our time together, as I knew he's never want his parents to know about me (as I'm from a different culture).

He's not out to do me any harm and was never the stalker type.

To be honest, I know he wants to find me because I've recently checked an old email account for the first time in a few months.... There were dozens from him, all begging me to contact as he misses me and wants to hear from me etc. So, he had this old email address for me and must presume I'm still using it. I only checked it once a while.

In one of the emails he said he'd been quoted by that agency to trace me and is planning to go ahead with the trace if he doesn't hear back from me soon.

Some more context: I have previously (years ago) responded to his emails, asked him to stop contacting me behind wife's back and that it's his own fault that he's stuck in a miserable unwanted marriage. Not my problem. However, he didn't stop the emails or listened to my request to stop them.

He's not threatening or dangerous, he just sounds desperately miserable, depressed and perhaps in some kind of mid-life crisis.

Check whether you can be found on 192.com (it uses the electoral roll - and you are good there from what you say - but also other sources). Also whether you can be found via any sort of footprint when searching for other people he knows you know / are related to.

Delete the old email.

Do not respond to any contact if that is your wish. If you have said no contact and it persists just ignore (report to police / seek proper advice if anything threatening happens).

My opinions only.

I am afraid it is really easy to trace people. I use tracing agents all the time and they generally come back within an hour.

They use electoral register. Utility bills etc I think.

If they have full name. Dob and previous addresses you will be found easily.

Get legal advice i.e. a cease and desist letter if anything comes of it.

Why do tracing agents exist? They must know 99% of the people hiring them have nefarious intentions

@mashh

missing parents, child support, lost touch etc
missing adult children
Unclaimed inheritance

Do they not consider that the people who are "missing" or "lost touch" might not want anything to do with the person asking to track them down though? The tracing agents are just aiding and abetting stalking by invading privacy like this

That's just generally speaking, not relevant to the OP.

Tracing Agents/private detectives are very expensive, and the client has to have some credibility to be accepted by them.

@mashh

They do the work they are paid to do by the client.

It could be to serve divorce papers on a spouse who has gone to ground. Or to find someone who owes a lot of money. Or is vulnerable in some way.

I think people in the situations you mentioned should just contact the police if they're genuinely worried about missing people.

Tracing agents should not give out your address or contact details to someone you've had a relationship breakdown with. They could be putting someone in an vulnerable/abusive situation.

Also, it might be part of the process of having someone declared legally dead.

As @ToffeeNotCoffee says. Also, tracing people the biological parents of adopted children, tracing people when an address is needed for legal action and tracing debtors who have tried to escape their debts. I doubt that the proportion with nefarious intentions is anywhere near 99% - probably less than 10%.

@sundaeonsunday Tracing agencies use credit bureau information, which gives them access from banks and lenders, and a wide variety of other sources. Most claim a 98% success rate, although FinderMonkey seem to only claim 92%. Your ex will pay £1047 if they find you, £249 if they don't.

They are not expensive. £53 to trace you.

You say he’s not the stalker type but the many messages on your email plus telling you he’s going to use a tracing agency, even though in the past you have asked him to stop contacting you, make him sound as if he does not respect your boundaries or care properly about your feelings. It’s all about his wants and his feelings.

It might sound harsh, but you need to stop tip toeing around his feelings on the matter. It might upset him - but he is upsetting you with this continued unwanted attention.

If you don’t respond, or mark it as gone away, there every chance he will just try another agency.

Has the agency assured you that they will not divulge your address or contact to him ?

Thanks for all the replies and advice.

If I change my surname by deedpool and update it on all bank/credit/council tax etc records would the agency still be able to trace me?

I'm planning to use a generic surname, something very common. Could a deedpool name change keep me off the tracing agency's radar?

@sundaeonsunday changing your name seems a bit extreme to avoid hurting someone’s feelings by not responding to email/letters from him from other side of world.

That seems a very drastic measure to avoid someone you have described as living on the other side of the world and not dangerous.

Can you change your National Insurance number ? Can you change your driver licence number ?

What would be the point? Given that it is nearly three weeks since you posted, the agency may already have been engaged and reported back to him.