Mediation

[Banez]

Hi all
I'm a mother of 1 (15months old) and the father and I have split up.

Our divorce is currently going through and should complete next year.

We had a parenting plan in place which he is now disputing (after an argument we had). He has not contacted me for 7 weeks asking anything about our child. I have been sending pictures daily as I promised I would from when we separated. I have not stopped him from coming to see her and I have not stopped him from contacting my family (should he wish to speak to them instead of me about our child) but he has told his family not to contact me at all and vice versa. He has also chosen not to see her.

Unfortunately, he is not capable of being alone with our child as he is quite negligent and accident prone. By which he would ask his mum, her boyfriend and their children to assist. To add insult to injury, his mum has wished our child dead and regularly sends 'curses/hex's' on me as well as abusive texts, her boyfriend has been accused of touching his nieces inappropriately when they were children, their children unfortunately are no better; one sister is a prostitute (and very proud about it) the other children take various illegal drugs and encouraged underage drinking on each other.

I have no intention of cutting 'family' ties however for the safety of our child, I cannot allow her to be at either my ex's sisters flat (as she sometimes works from home) and his mothers flat (where the pedo and drugs are- it's also never been cleaned. His mum has incontinence issues but doesn't like cleaning so she tells us to wear shoes in the flat).

Our child is also still being breastfed (as well as bottle) however since birth he has been trying to force the bottle on the baby so he can take our child away from me. Unfortunately I was treated very badly in the marriage and was subject to unspeakable things- I was very certain at one point that he would never hurt our child, but she always gets really badly hurt when I have left her with him in the past - what makes it worse is he always blames something else (usually inanimate objects).

Sorry for the long thread but I just wanted to know if there is anyone out there who has been through meditation and have any advice to give? Or alternatively any legal reps who have any pearls of wisdom to give?

Just came on here to say in relation to this - Unfortunately, he is not capable of being alone with our child as he is quite negligent and accident prone. - is seldom treated by the courts as a valid excuse to stop contact. It is such a nebulous accusation to bandy around.

Yes I completely understand that. I have never stopped contact though. He has chosen to not see her out of what I'm assuming is protest.

Has he asked for mediation or contact?

Yes - he has requested mediation (we've had our intro call just waiting for the actually mediation date now). He hasn't asked me for contact in 7 weeks (I sent him a pic of her every day and he knows where I live etc). It felt like he just forgot her until I was notified about the mediation

I would just approach mediation asking him why he hasn't shown any interest yet. I would then offer supervisee contact if that's and explain your reasons if you feel that is necessary. You could offer contact center contact. If he wants more than you are comfortable with, he can make the effort to take you to court.

Thanks for this- will defo mention these points. Much appreciated :)

Exactly what Chimna says.

Thank you both :)

Hey all just thought I'd give you an update. Mediation has taken place- it failed as you can imagine. He said he won't be taken it further- thanks for all your advice

Thank you for the update @Banez. I love it when the OP comes back to let everyone know what's going on

Are you going to go for maintenance now, if you haven't already?

Aw it's my pleasure- I was really grateful for the advice. <3

He already gives a small amount every month which I believe is all he can afford at present.

Well done OP for standing your ground!

Thank you!