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Revoking parental responsibility

6 replies

Mochachocolatte · 07/11/2022 20:26

I'm aware this is an extremely rare thing and that the courts have only ordered it a few times, but I'm keen to see if these circumstances would warrant it.

Me and my exhusband adopted a child together five years ago. We have since divorced. He had regular contact with DS but was abusive and whilst there isn't any actual evidence for this, DS told the school who (at my insistence) got social services involved. DS was put on a child in need plan. Contact dwindled, ex couldn't handle DS's behaviour and was losing his temper and getting physical with him. He walked out of his life earlier this year, saying he was "sick of the allegations" (no allegations had been made since the initial disclosure) - he said this directly to our social worker after a contact weekend resulted in him bringing DS home to me early because ex couldn't cope. DS later told me (and this was AFTER ex said about being sick of the allegations) that ex had done a covid test of DS and he had coughed and spluttered so ex grabbed DS's face and wiped it in the spit. As far as I'm concerned, ex said what he said to the social worker because he knew this allegation was coming.

Social services asked if I wanted to try to do supervised contact. I made it very clear that ex had chosen to walk away, and that even if he changed his mind in the future there is no way he is having access to DS unless a court order forces my hand.

I've had no contact with ex since that last contact weekend when he brought him home early. I never want to see or speak to him again. He does not want to be a dad to DS, and in all honesty if given the option of giving up his parental responsibility, he would jump at the chance as it means he would no longer have to pay maintenance for a child he will never see again.

Given that he is likely to be willing, and given that DS is adopted and so there's no biological link thad should be maintained, do I have a chance of revoking his PR? DS has special needs and PTSD and I'm terrified that if anything happened to me, he would be sent to my ex.

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 07/11/2022 21:36

No chance whatsoever of removing PR. As you were married, the courts do not have the power to remove his PR. However, you may be able to get a Prohibited Steps Order that would render his PR almost completely ineffective.

parietal · 07/11/2022 21:40

you might also be able to look at getting a special guardianship order to give PR to someone else besides you (e.g. if you have a sibling or another adult who cares for your DS) who would then have a say in the event that you weren't able to care for your DS.

Mochachocolatte · 07/11/2022 21:51

Thanks both. I'm probably worrying over nothing, its extremely unlikely my ex ever wants to see DS again and if he was having to look after him because something happened to me, my family would put up a fight and he would gladly insist they take him.

Its just playing on my mind I guess as he has such a nasty streak.

OP posts:
Lisagreen12 · 07/11/2022 21:53

You won’t be able to remove PR
If he doesn’t want to be a dad you shouldn’t have much of an issue with contsct
just stop replying to him

WYDMAD · 07/11/2022 21:54

Not a chance unfortunately!

Mochachocolatte · 07/11/2022 22:25

@Lisagreen12 he hasn't contacted me in over eight months, there's nothing to stop replying to!

I think I just worry that legally he has every right to fight me on decisions. DS has SEN and if ex decided to get involved (or more likely his partner encouraged him to get involved) he could cause a lot of difficulty.

I think a prohibitive steps order might be worth looking into.

OP posts:
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