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Access order in place before baby is born??

6 replies

gummybearbaby · 31/10/2022 19:29

Does anybody know if you can have an access order granted and put into place before a baby is even born??
One of my eldest and his now ex-gf are expecting a baby early next year, my eldest has moved back home and his ex-gf has moved back in with her mum, but her mum has been so controlling since the get go, now she has become much worse, when they sprayed they decided that they was going to stay amicable so that they would still be on speaking terms to make decisions jointly about their baby, well, her mum has completely put a stop to that, she was always controlling of her daughter, even when she moved out, and she tried to control my son, which we wasn't having any of it, he stood up for his gf and told her mum that he wasn't going to stand there and let her control their lives or her daughter anymore, she would literally walk into their flat, throw out anything she didn't like or agree with, took my child's pictures down and put more of her own up, they had an appointment booked to have an engineering to go out to their flat and have the smoke alarms replaced and a carbon monoxide detector installed, her mum decided they didn't need them so she cancelled the appointment and didn't bother saying anything until the engineering didn't turn up and my eldest rang to find out why. When he came home to visit for any reason her mum would ring her saying that he was with some other woman cheating on her.....cut a long story short, they couldn't cope with her interfering anymore and seperated, her mum has blocked every one of my family members from all of her families social medias and also blocked our numbers and she has moved her daughter into another one of her relatives houses after she saw her daughter talking and laughing with one of my younger children. One of my other children saw controlling mums son in town and asked him how his sister was doing and his reply was 'wtf has it got to do with you?' My daughter replied with 'well, she is carrying my niece or nephew and because we were pretty close' the son told her 'that baby has got FA to do with you lot' my daughter told him that it was her brothers baby so it was part of our family, 'that baby isnt even going to know any of you exsist so stay tf away or we will just move to another part of the country without you even knowing!' This obviously upset my son as hr is very much looking forward to being an uncle and myself and my partner are looking forward to our first grandchildren being born. We know that we can get an access order in place because our latest very much wants to be part of his child's life and doesn't want to be a part time dad, does anybody know if are able to get one put into place before baby is born or will we have to wait until baby is born?

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 31/10/2022 19:32

No you can't. The baby isn't a legal person until it is born and therefore can't be subject to any legal order.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 31/10/2022 19:33

If this is as bad as you are saying, I think you need to ring social services and tell them your son’s ex girlfriend is in a situation of coercive control and that the baby isn’t safe. Your son might end up being a full time dad so be very sure of what you are saying.

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 31/10/2022 19:35

Social services can do pre-birth assessments even though nothing can actually happen until the baby is born. If they definitely solely broke up due to her mother, would you be able to offer DS’s ex a home or help her leave if she tried and get their little family put back together again if social services deemed it suitable?

Wasywasydoodah · 31/10/2022 19:36

you can’t apply pre-birth. Your son will need to apply for a Child Arrangement Order and possibly Parental Responsibility Order, unless ex gf agrees he can register the birth with her.

J0CASTA · 31/10/2022 19:49

That’s great that your son wants to be an involved father.

Has he though about how he will change his working hours so he can have his child to live with him for part of the week ? Obviously he will have to build p to that as baby will be a newborn .

I assume he will be Saving up now to buy the baby equipment he will need .

He needs to get legal advice as he can take action once baby is here. In the meantime you as your family need to stop picking fights with his family. It’s not helping .

gummybearbaby · 01/11/2022 08:40

Thank you for your replies....we have informed social services but the poor girl won't say anything because she is so worried about the repercussions from her family.....I'd gladly let her move in with us if we had the room but he's back to sharing a bedroom with his brother....he's working every hour that he can and buying 2 of everything so that they both have what they need for baby, (he is sending them to babys mama in anonymous packages so her mum doesn't know or she would just throw them out) thankfully his boss is a good friend of ours has told him he can take any time off that he needs and it will be booked as paid leave......its so hard to see my boy breaking his heart worrying that he isn't going to be part of his babys life, I've reached out to her mum more than once to try and sorry things out before baby is born but every time she has pretty much told me to eff off and that she will do what she wants with who she wants

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