Narc family and will - really need advice

[Shinyballs]

Hi
My OH lost a parent nearly two years ago. They were estranged however parent included OH in the will to his surprise. Parent was very abusive hence OH going NC when he was younger.
The will has been dealt with by OH's siblings who he has a difficult and fragile relationships with. The whole family is really fragmented due to the abuse.

I have tried not to get involved as it is not my inheritance but I do feel that the siblings are withholding a lot of information and controlling everything now to the point where our life is on hold until the inheritance arrives. We stupidly made decisions on the understanding the inheritance would be paid out last Dec. It hasn't. His siblings don't seem too bothered as their life circumstances are very different from ours. This could be considered a life-changing amount of money for us, but probably not for them. We know nothing about wills and inheritance. My OH has been instructed by siblings not to contact the solicitor due to the fees they rack up nevertheless he has questions as a beneficiary. If he contacts the solicitors, it will cause division and stress between him and siblings. He has hid his head in the sand as it was all too stressful for him but I really think he needs to get involved especially as the cost of living and our mortgage has shot up. Meanwhile siblings are happily buying multiple properties.

He has a copy of the will and the grant of probate. Nothing else. He keeps being told that until the house is sold, the rest of the inheritance won't be paid out. Is there anyone that can tell me if this is true and what the legal decisions and rules are around this? The house is basically not selling and looks unlikely to for some time. He wants to know if there is any reason he cannot have the inheritance until it does sell. We would really appreciate some advice before he takes the plunge and speaks to the solicitor. It will prob result in a huge fee and a massive fall-out so we want to understand exactly what we need to be asking.
Thank you in advance.

I’m sorry but it is perfectly normal for an inheritance not to be paid out until property has been sold. In many cases the bulk of the estate is tied up in the property and so can’t be paid out until it is sold.

Beneficiaries actually have very few rights and are not entitled to updates. The siblings are correct that contacting the solicitors does bump up the costs.

You have done the right thing in getting a copy of probate and the will so you know roughly what DH will inherit. Your DH can sign up for property alerts propertyalert.landregistry.gov.uk and can regularly check when the property has been sold.

If your DH is a residual beneficiary he can request a copy of the estate accounts but not until the estate is settled.

My sympathies. Dealing with a family destroyed by narcissism is truly traumatic. I do not doubt that your OH will have to fight for his due and probably accept the loss of any (albeit) fragile relationship with his family going forward..unless he wants to possibly give up his inheritance and let them walk all over him. In my experience playing "nice" in this situation will gain him nothing in the long run with this type of family.
Two years is a long time and unless the estate was complex it really ought to have been settled by now.
Is anyone living in the house? Is it being rented out? Is it actually up for sale? Your OH needs to check this and also if it is rented out would be entitled to his % of the rent (minus expenses of course).
Your OH needs to decide either to be proactive in getting his inheritance (and should perhaps pay for one session with a good specialist solicitor who can advise on legal steps) or let his narc family dictate and walk all over him. I wish him strength in dealing with this...

Thank you both. This is helpful. The house isn't the bulk of the estate though. What OH doesn't understand is why the siblings say it has to be sold. It has been empty for well over 18 months now and keeps being put up for sale. Surely not all inheritances are only distributed once property is sold? What if the siblings wanted to keep the property in the family and rent it out? This is where our lack of knowledge is a problem.

The estate was large but not complex. So we don't understand why it has taken so long. We also think there have been long periods of time where nothing has been done even when we were informed stuff was happening. Every approach ends in stone-walling and I'm sure decisions are being made without his input.

If the siblings wanted to keep the property in the family and rent it out, they would have to buy it from the estate. The estate cannot be fully settled until the house is sold. Apart from anything else, the executors don't know how much your OH is entitled to inherit until the house has been sold. However, if the executors are not actively pursuing a sale, your OH may need to consult a solicitor about taking action to move things along.

@Shinyballs

There is contacting a solicitor for a quick update and contacting a solicitor!

He's perfectly within his rights to ask his own parent's solicitor for an update and it will not wildy bump up costs.

What ph4 says may be correct if it's divided into %
It may not be. It may be an exact figures.

When df died he left exact sum's that were paid before any property sold.

Thank you.

So my OH and his siblings don't actually own the house even though it has been left in the will to them and probate has been granted? Apologies if this sounds ignorant. I know next to nothing about these matters as never been a beneficiary and probably won't be in the future.

No, they do not. It belongs to the estate unless and until the executors transfer it to them. It sounds like your husband and his siblings want the money rather than the property, so the executors will sell it.

Dealing with a family destroyed by narcissism is truly traumatic.

I agree with you. It’s extremely traumatic. Courts often don’t help if you have a narc family. They just go along with them and let them continue to control and abuse you.

pay for one session with a good specialist solicitor who can advise on legal steps) or let his narc family dictate and walk all over him.

one session or less may be all some of us can afford